


Complications

by Cat_Moon



Series: Half Breed: Season Two [3]
Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: Canon Het Relationship, F/M, M/M, Rock and Roll, Slash, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:36:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Josef's friend Shane and his rock band pay a visit to the gang in L.A., what should have been a fun vacation turns into a giant thrill ride full of mystery, complications, and yet more shocking revelations.  Josef has a nervous breakdown, Shane sells his soul to rock & roll (again), and Mick uncovers even more to be angsty and introspective over.  What is the ancient prophesy that may change life as the vampires know it?  What are the secrets that Mick and Beth haven't been told?  What's up with the weird relationship between Josef and Shane?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strike Up The Band

**Author's Note:**

> This story is novel sized, and it's part of the Half Breed series. Definitely best to read "Resurrection" first if you haven't, as the characters introduced there appear here. I started writing HB after the episode "The Ringer" and later incorporated different aspects from subsequent episodes into my universe in non-canon ways.
> 
> Some of the characters in this story are living the rock & roll lifestyle, which means lots of bad language and "Sex, drugs, and rock and roll". I have an affinity for the hair bands of the 80's. For Josef-lovers, he plays a major role in everything, including the revelations about Mick and Beth.

 

 

 

  
_Living like a gypsy, air conditioned hippie, never see the light of day…_   
_Watch the shit hit the fan, when we strike up the band_   


  
(Strike Up the Band, Poison)

 

All your life there’s gonna be a constant barrage of people trying to pull you into their shit, and trying to push their way into your shit. Your job is to avoid being pulled into their shit, and not let them butt into yours. If you do that you’ll have a healthy, happy life.  
\--SHANE’S WISDOM

 

And it came to pass, in a world ruled by fate and governed by coincidence, that a tape of Shane Alexander’s band mysteriously found itself in the mail of several key people in the music industry in Los Angeles. One of the people who stumbled upon it was “Pops” Anderson. A long time musician, Pops had settled into a working retirement and had just purchased a club in L.A. that would specialize in oldies music – oldies being the rock and roll of the 80’s and 90’s, with a smattering of 70’s thrown in for good measure. He was looking for a house band to kick off the grand opening of “Rock and Roll Rodeo”, and after hearing Shane and his band, “Stand” he decided they would be perfect. The fact that Pops just happened to be an old friend of Shane’s was just a fortunate streak of luck.

A deal was struck; Shane’s band would travel to L.A. for a ‘working vacation’ and help the club kick off its first two weeks. Details were hammered out: some of the band wouldn’t be able to take that much time off from their jobs in Resurrection; replacements would have to be provided. Greg and Silas would only be visiting for an extended weekend. Their other guitarist, Freddy, was the local real estate agent, and left his business in his partner’s capable hands for the duration. Shane of course, was irreplaceable.

Deals had to be haggled out at home in Alaska, as well. When the band’s #1 fan found out about the L.A. gig, she insisted on coming along. Made it quite clear, in fact, that she was going with or without the band, to her parent’s chagrin. Some parents just couldn’t let go, even after their children were of legal age. It was better than the alternative but well, some things have to be learned by experience. Finally, knowing she couldn’t possibly be in better, safer hands than their friend the Sheriff’s, they sent her off with their acceptance.

Some things have to be learned by experience.

 

XXX

 

The airport was bustling in the early morning hours. Sunshine splashed through the large windows, warming whatever it hit despite the air conditioning doing its best to freeze the cattle being herded through. Passengers anxiously rushed to make their flights, other, lucky ones were wearily returning home from their journeys. Some of those milling about were only there to pick up relatives and friends arriving in the City of Angels for a visit. Josef, Mick, and Beth were among them.

After the ubiquitous but brief flight delay, the visitors finally staggered through the gate. Greg, Shane, and Sara had travelled together; Silas and Freddy would be taking a later flight in. Much later, as in an evening flight. Freddy just had one last deal to close, but Silas, well, he thought any vampire who would willing take a daytime flight to L.A. when they didn’t have to was just a touch crazy. Shane didn’t disagree.

When Shane came into view Josef smirked, and Mick couldn’t help chuckling. Even Beth, who tried to be polite, found herself fighting a battle with lips that kept twitching upwards.

His cowboy hat was pulled low over his face, eyes covered by wrap-around sunglasses. Jeans and long black jacket made sure that no skin was showing whatsoever except for his hands and part of his face not covered by the glasses or hat.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Josef proclaimed, grinning widely.

“You sure do look the part of the quintessential rocker; up partying all night, hung over in the daylight,” Mick added.

Shane pointed a long finger at all of them. “Don’t.” He took off his glasses, determining the light indoors was acceptable even with all the windows. “Josef Kostan coming to greet me at the airport himself. To what do I owe that honor?”

Josef hooked a thumb toward the blond currently hugging Sara hello. “She made me.”

The others watched in not a small amount of surprise as Josef allowed Shane to envelop him in a bear hug, and even hugged back. “Damn, it’s good to see you, man, it’s been too long," Shane told him.

“Yeah, we wanna hear stories. Lots and lots of stories,” Beth put in.

“Josef, this is Greg Barrister, my full time deputy and part time bassist.”

Greg shook Josef’s hand and greeted Mick and Beth.

“And this is Sara Adams.”

Josef however, had already spotted Sara without the introduction. He had the look on his face he always wore when presented with a beautiful woman, especially of the human variety. “Sara.” He stepped forward. “Well now, you didn’t tell us you had such lovely women up there in Alaska.” He bent to kiss her hand, never breaking eye contact. “It’s a crying shame to hide them up there in the wilderness with just the bears for company.”

Sara smiled at the compliment, apparently no more immune to Josef’s charm than any other woman. “That’s what I’ve always thought!”

Shane smiled tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose, took a breath. “Can we get this show on the road?”

“Shall we?” Josef said, gallantly beginning to escort Sara toward the exit. He didn’t seem to be able to take his eyes off her. And those present who knew about Sara Whitley were uncomfortably aware of both her name and her red hair.

Once outside in the parking lot, Shane tried to disappear further into his jacket. “I forgot how nasty this stuff is.”

Mick shook his head in amusement. “And I thought Josef complained a lot.”

“Hey, you try living in Alaska for over ten years and then facing the L.A. sun. I’ll get used to it again. I hope.”

“I hear there’s plenty of sun in the summertime,” Mick mentioned. “As in, never sets?”

“It’s not the desert.”

“It _is_ weird to be in all this sunshine,” Sara put in, obviously attributing Shane’s sun aversion to the difference between L.A. heat and Alaskan weather since she had no clue she was in the presence of vampires.

“Sun block,” Shane reminded her. “Lots of sun block.”

“And I have like, _nothing_ to wear for California,” Sara complained. “It’s pathetic.”

“Oh, we’ll go shopping, don’t worry,” Beth promised. “My credit line has recently increased,” this with a bright grin at Mick. “We’re going to have a blast.” And a dose of payback for some of Mick’s little chauvinistic comments in Alaska wouldn’t be unwelcome.

“Ooh, I can’t wait. Gotta get some new outfits for the shows, too.”

“So, this is the first time you’ve been back to L.A. ?” Beth asked Shane.

“Yeah. It’s been a long time… for a lot of things.”

“You must have a lot of things you want to do then.”

“The Whiskey. The _Rainbow_ ,” Shane breathed almost reverently.

“Sunset strip, sun bathing on the beach,” Sara added, practically bouncing with excitement. “We’re gonna have an awesome time.”

“Did somebody say nude bathing on the beach?” Josef asked. Mick gave him a scolding look. “Oh, sorry, guess I was daydreaming.”

Shane took the hat off his head and affectionately plopped it down on Sara’s. “Well I don’t do beaches, babe, but I’m sure Beth will be happy to be tour guide for you and the others.”

“Rock stars. Why is it they all have an aversion to the beach?” Sara asked rhetorically.

“I’m not a rock star.”

“Yet.”

“Rock star?” Mick asked with raised eyebrows. “Something you haven’t told us?”

“Ignore her,” Shane said. “She’s crazy. I think maybe it’s due to living up there in Alaska in almost constant darkness.”

Sara gave him a hard shove in the arm, as he grinned at her.

“You know, we might have to run you in, for accosting the Sheriff,” Greg joked.

“You’re out of your jurisdiction, buddy.” Sara pulled Beth aside and whispered into her ear. “I wouldn’t mind _accosting_ the Sheriff.” 

“What was that?” Shane asked.

“Nothing,” Sara answered innocently.

“Girl talk,” Beth added with a smirk.

“Are we there yet??” Shane asked plaintively. Whispers. Vampire hearing. No more need be said.

“As a matter of fact, we are.” Mick stopped in back of Beth’s Prius, which was parked next to Josef’s red Ferrari. Beth tossed him the keys so their guests could stow their luggage.

“You should probably drop us off at the hotel first, so we can get checked in,” Shane suggested.

“I don’t know why you don’t want to stay at my place,” Josef complained. Shane gave him a look that said he should know the answer to that. “What? I’ve got the whole guest wing… Don’t tell me you’re no fun anymore, either.”

Shane just shook his head, refusing to be baited.

“Hey – was that an insult?” Mick wanted to know.

“Well, if you recognized yourself…”

“Wow, nice car!” Sara told Josef when she saw him unlock the door and realized it was his.

“Well it just so happens I’m in need of a gorgeous lady to decorate the passenger side. Do you know anyone who’d like the job?”

Sara grinned and jumped in.

Shane looked over his sunglasses at his old friend. “By the way, Josef, if you’re not at the hotel when we get there… I’m going to take _you_ sunbathing.”

“Yes, Dad!” Josef yelled before peeling off out of the lot.

Shane watched as Sara drove off in Josef’s car, wearing _his_ hat. “I hope he gets a ticket.”

As they were getting into the car, Beth took Mick aside to whisper to him. Her whisper was barely more than a breath, since _she_ did know all about vampire hearing. “There’s going to be trouble.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Woman’s intuition.”

Mick nodded. “Just call me Shirley, then, because I have the same feeling."

Beth pulled out of the lot, taking the route to the hotel at a much more reasonable pace. Mick was in the front seat and the other two in the back, with Shane slouched down as far as he could.

“You know,” Greg told Shane, “we wouldn’t mind if you wanted to stay at your friend’s instead of the hotel with us.”

Shane shook his head. “The Adams' asked me to keep an eye on Sara. Let’s just say the atmosphere at Josef’s isn’t conducive.”

“Not gonna be as easy as you thought it was, is it?”

“I never thought it was gonna be easy.”

Complicated was a much more likely word.

 

XXX

 

The boys were passing the daylight hours the way vampires are apt to. Human Greg had been left to his own devices to do some sightseeing. Beth and Sara, well, they had a serious date with the mall.

They were currently resting their tired feet in the food court, digging into burgers and sipping drinks. It had been a fun afternoon of shopping. Beth wasn’t much into the girl-bonding thing, more often she could be found hanging with the guys, but it had been a lot of fun. Kind of like having a little sister. The teenager’s energy and youthful approach to life was refreshing.  Well, most of the time anyway.

“So, do you like current music too, or just retro?” Beth asked Sara.

“Oh, I love all music. Heavy metal, alternative, emo. Even country. When you live in the middle of nowhere, sometimes all you have is the music and your daydreams for escape.”

And into that colorless, changeless existence, came Shane Alexander. The most exotic thing Sara had ever seen, somehow at once both perfectly suited to the role of Sheriff to the outpost town and glaringly out of place. A contradiction, a mystery. And now, finally within reach. She could taste it on her tongue, sweeter than the ice tea in the cup in front of her…

_It would be hot, so hot; the night air blowing onto their skin through the open window provided no relief for the heat wrapping around them. The taste of him would explode on her senses as his tongue explored her mouth desperately, demandingly. He would rip her blouse open, exposing her naked skin. He would pour some ice cold tea onto the skin between her breasts, causing her to shiver before his hot tongue licked the sweetness away…_

“Sara?”

“Huh?” She abruptly became aware that Beth had been trying to get her attention. “Oh, sorry,” she muttered in embarrassment. “Guess I was daydreaming again.”

“I was saying that you’re not a minor anymore, you can leave Alaska if you want to now, go to college somewhere. Do you have any ideas what you’d like to do with your life?”

“I _have_ thought about leaving Resurrection. Seriously, in fact. There’s… nothing there.” _Except Shane._

“If that’s what you really want to do, you should talk to your parents about it. They’d miss you but I’m sure they’d be supportive of you choosing a career.”

Sara laughed. “No, actually, I don’t think they’d be at all supportive of what I _really_ want to do with my life.”

“What’s that?”

Sara grinned but shook her head instead of answering. “Everybody’s gotta have their secrets.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Beth couldn’t help but agree; even though she had a feeling Sara’s were tame compared to the ones _she_ was privy to.

Sara took a sip of her ice tea. “Y’know, I’m the one who ‘anonymously’ sent the tape of Shane’s band to L.A.”

“I thought the guy who owns the club is an old friend of his?”

Sara shrugged. “That’s just a crazy coincidence, that he saw it and was the one to call.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to give them a chance to get noticed. They’re good.”

“Does Shane know?” Beth asked, with an unpleasant suspicion that she already knew the answer.

“Hell, no.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to get noticed. And they aren’t full time musicians; they have other jobs, important ones. I hope you’re not thinking they’re going to get “discovered” and stay here to become famous.”

Sara frowned at her. “I may be nineteen and live a sheltered life in Alaska, but I’m not stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“So it’s just a chance to have some fun. It’ll be good for Shane to have a vacation. Get away from his responsibilities for awhile.”

Beth tried to choose her words carefully. “Honey, Shane’s... well, he’s um, in a ‘different’ place than you are in his life, and I hope that you’re not reading more into things than—“

“Oh you don’t have a fucking clue, so don’t patronize me. You don’t know Shane and you don’t know me."

“I’m just trying to help.”

“You may see Shane as Mr. Responsible Sheriff, but he’s the lead singer in a rock band. He gets up there on the stage and performs. He’s a musician. And I’m a hot 19 yr. old. Trust me, he wants me. And it won’t take much for me to get him. Thems the realities, chickie.”

And Beth remembered the part about teenagers being difficult. She thought about arguing – she had a lot of responses to that. But had a feeling it wouldn’t be listened to anyway.

The word Hindenburg came to mind.

 

**End of Chapter One: Strike Up The Band**

 


	2. Let Me Go To The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock & Roll and vampires. Perfect together.

 

The sun was just slipping below the horizon when Mick wandered downstairs scratching his stomach, his foggy mind gradually registering the presence in his living room.

“It’s about time you woke up. Jeez, put some clothes on, will ya?” Josef sat in the chair sipping a glass of blood. In deference to his out of town guest he had exchanged his usual impeccable suit for a pair of black jeans, brown tank top and black leather jacket.

Mick shrugged into the robe slung over his shoulder, shaking his head to clear it. “I’m having the weirdest time figuring out what’s normal and what’s not. Are we supposed to wake up groggy, and with an urge to make a pot of coffee?” The consequences of drinking Beth’s blood were still somewhat of a mystery to him, more of confusion than anything else.

Josef shook his head. “You’re a sad excuse for a vampire, you know that?”

Mick went to the kitchen for his own glass of ‘breakfast’. “And you’re here so early, because?”

“I’m bored.”

Mick returned and sat down on the couch with his drink. “So, you decided to inflict it on me.”

“What are best friends for?”  Josef smiled.

“Speaking of friends, what’s the deal with you and Shane anyway?”

“There’s no deal.”

“You’re supposedly old friends, but I’m getting some really weird vibes from the two of you. You ever going to share all those stories?”

“Maybe. Let’s just say Shane and I go back a long way.”

“How long?” Mick pressed. “I mean, I figured he’s about my age…”

Josef laughed. “Hardly. Shane is _old_ , Mick. Older than me.”

Mick’s eyebrow shot up. Vampires could get a sense of the age of their comrades from their smell, so it was a shock to hear he was so far off the mark. “How old?! How can he hide it?” It was a bit unnerving to realize he apparently had an elder in his midst and hadn’t a clue.

Josef shook his head with finality. “I don’t know, and I never asked. Some things you just don’t ask Shane about. You’ll find out.”

Mick looked at him nonplussed. _Mild mannered Shane?_

Josef continued, having interpreted his expression. “He’s got that whole unassuming Sheriff Andy Taylor thing going this decade. The three before that it was sex, drugs and rock and roll – not necessarily in that order. Don’t underestimate him.”

Mick filed that information away silently.

“And speak of the devil…”

Mick looked at Josef sharply, then at the door monitor, surprised as he hadn’t heard anything himself. Sure enough, several moments later the elevator doors opened and Shane was walking towards the apartment. As he grabbed the remote and opened the door, Mick couldn’t help but wonder: was it because his senses were a bit rusty due to ingesting Beth’s blood? Or did Josef have the ability, perhaps due to his age, of sensing presences from further distances? It wouldn’t be unlike Josef to keep his secrets. Or… was there some reason Josef was more attuned to Shane, and able to sense him more keenly? The bigger question was – would Mick ever known the answers?

Shane walked in, wearing his usual ripped jeans and a tattered T-shirt that said “Some days I just wanna be” on the front, and on the back, “a menace to society.”

“Good evening, boys," Shane drawled.  Josef scowled at him as he made a beeline for the stereo, where he turned on some rock, then headed for the couch, body moving to the music.  “I wanna rock, party, fight, and fuck – not sure in what order,” Shane announced.

“Don’t forget the drinking,” Josef said holding up his glass of blood, which Shane then confiscated.

“That goes without saying.”

“Well, uh, I think I’d better get dressed then,” Mick said, heading for the stairs.

“Don’t go to any trouble on our account,” Shane told him.

Mick hurried upstairs a bit disconcerted, even more so when he heard two sets of laughter behind him. Josef was obviously right; this was not the Shane Alexander he’d met in Alaska. Was it?

“You naughty boy!” Josef scolded Shane.

“I’m suddenly afraid of both of you!” Mick called behind him.

“Don’t worry, your virtue’s safe,” Josef reassured. “Speaking of virtue, what’s the story with you and the lovely Sara?”

“No story, we’re friends. I know her family.”

“Ah, so you’re not, uh—“ Josef let it trail off meaningfully.

“I wouldn’t go there if I were you.”

“Good thing we love living dangerously," Josef told him.

 

XXX

 

_So much for female bonding_ , Beth thought as the women entered the St. John apartment with their packages. Sara’s attitude toward her had cooled some since the conversation at the food court. The men were relaxing in the living room when they got home, enjoying _cocktail_ hour.

“Hey, have fun shopping?” Mick greeted them, giving his wife an indulgent kiss.

“It’s so great to be able to wear real clothes!” Sara said delightedly, spinning around to model the new clothes she’d changed into in the mall bathroom. Unlike the bulky, warm outfits needed in Alaska, she was wearing a dark red tube top and a pair of really short red shorts. Black accents complimented the outfit; a choker, wrist band, earrings with black stones and a black leather jacket set off the slightly curly red hair that was flowing wildly around her face. “What do you think?”

Shane pointed a finger at her. “Is that outfit up to decency codes? Don’t make me arrest you.”

Sara held her hands up toward him, wrists together. “Take me in, officer,” she told him, batting her eyelashes.

Shane grinned indulgently and shook his head. “I left my cuffs at home.”

“I think you look too hot for L.A.,” Josef put in helpfully.

“Why thank you, kind sir, for noticing.” She giggled, then ran off for the bathroom.

“Do you think you should be letting her, uh, well, tease, like that?” Beth asked Shane when she was gone.

“ _Let her do what_?” There was subtle but clear warning in the vampire’s voice.

“Well okay then. Time to change the subject,” Mick decided, remembering what Josef had said earlier about underestimating Shane.

“No offense, but no. If I want advice I ask for it. Otherwise,” Shane shrugged casually. “I’m just a really private person. “

“You don’t let anybody get close, you mean?” Beth challenged.

Mick’s eyes widened. He was beginning to be leery of Shane, and Beth was persistent. Shane was friendly, laid back, but somehow even though he was telling you nicely enough, when he reprimanded you, you somehow had the urge to go over and cower in the corner, chastised.

Shane just shrugged again at Beth’s words. “Whatever.”

Sara joined them again, collapsing on the couch next to Shane. “Hey Shay,” she began with a defiant look in Beth’s direction. “I’m the one who sent the tape of the band out.”

There was a long silence as everyone waited to see what his reaction would be, and Shane looked up to contemplate the ceiling. “Why am I so stupid I didn’t figure that out? God, that’s _so_ embarrassing.”

“Slowing down in your old age, huh?” Josef inquired snidely.

“I think I can take care of _one_ of my f’s right here,” he told Josef, referring to what he’d said earlier about what he wanted to do that night.  Fight. Again, it was said mildly enough, but the steel underneath was evident.

“You could take care of both of them, if you wanted to,” Josef responded, eyes sliding over to Sara with unmistakable appreciation.  “But you know me; I’m a lover not a fighter.”

Beth’s expression said she had no clue what was going on, while Mick was looking rather like a man trapped in a tiger cage with two big cats.

“The boys are rowdy tonight!” Sara proclaimed, picking up on the mood. She grabbed Shane’s hand and started leading him toward the door. “Let’s go pick up Greg and Silas and Freddy, then we can get to the partying.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Shane agreed, allowing himself be led out and leaving the others to follow.

 

XXX

 

“Oh man, you’re a sight for sore eyes!” Shane exclaimed when he saw Pops, enveloping the ‘older’ man in a huge hug. Pops had played with Shane during the eighties. That would be the 1980's.  Pops was in his mid-fifties now, and although his gray hair and the experience on his face showed his age, his manner was youthful and his body still solid.

“The one and only Shane Alexander!” Pops greeted, his eyes looking suspiciously moist. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long, man, too long.”

“It’s great to have you here for opening week.”

“Anything for you, Joe,” Shane said, calling him by his given name. He introduced everyone around, and Pops showed them to the dressing room to get settled, with a promise to catch up later. Then he left to make his own preparations for opening night.

The first order of day was the rehearsal, so after dumping their stuff they set up on the stage for practice.

“Sure you don’t wanna join us?” Shane asked Mick.

Mick shook his head. “I’m strictly audience participation this time,” he told them from the seat at the front row table he shared with Beth and Josef. “By the way, I never asked you: back home you were just “Shane and the Boys,” how’d you come up with Stand?”

Greg shrugged. “We needed a better sounding band name. We’re doing a _real_ gig now,” he grinned self-depreciatingly.

“Why Stand?” Beth asked with her usual curiosity.

Shane answered. “You gotta _stand_ , you know? Stand for what you believe in, for your rights, stand tall in the face of adversity. Stand. It’s kinda a motto of mine.”

“It’s a good name,” she told him.

“Okay boys – hit it!” The music started. “Here’s one for you, Wild Child,” Shane told Sara with a wink, as the band began the song.

“Mama, let me go to the show; I dig them bad boys, playing that rock and roll. Mama, let me go out tonight, oh mama please before I lose my mind.”

Moving to the music, Sara sang along with the vocals. “Out the widow, shimmy down the tree, I take a look around so no one’s watching me." She shared a knowing grin with Shane at that line, making the others wonder at the obvious story there. “I steal the keys and take my dad’s Chevrolet. I can hear my mama scream from ten miles away…”

“Hey, she’s good,” Beth offered when they’d finished the song. “Maybe you should add a backup singer.”

Shane nodded knowingly at Beth's words, guessing that she was trying to get him in trouble by putting ideas in Sara’s head. “Revenge, huh?”

Beth shrugged. “You’re on your own, right?”

Sara grabbed a chair and turned it around backwards to sit straddling it. “Might be fun, but if I was on the stage I couldn’t be watching the show from the front row. That’s what gets me off,” she told them.

Shane affected a wounded expression. “What, you mean it’s not _me_?”

The silence in the room was complete. Sara seemed to be surprised speechless at what he’d said. Shane looked like he was contemplating cutting his tongue out. Beth decided it was good to see this arrogant man who thought he was perfect screw up.

“Okay bad joke moving right along,” Shane said quickly.

They started playing again, but not before he heard Sara whisper, “Oh, it’s you.”

“He’s such a control freak,” Beth whispered to Mick over the music. “And we thought _Josef_   was a control freak.”

“Excuse me, vampire over here, really good hearing,” Josef reminded. “This always happens,” he lamented aloud to himself. “Shane comes along and I get upstaged. I don’t know why I’m even friends with him. He’s more vampire than most vamps even when he’s totally in human mode.”

Since no one replied, he consoled himself with the fact that he’d had the last word.

 

XXX

 

The show was a success, with both band and audience in a good mood and enjoying themselves. Time passed quickly, and after a couple of encores they found themselves in the dressing room again, high from the adrenalin and the music. As they collapsed in exhaustion, Silas pulled a jug out from his bag, grabbed some red plastic cups and starting passing out the moonshine.

“Present from Randy,” Silas answered the raised eyebrows of the Resurrection crew.

“How’d you smuggle that stuff down here?!” Shane wanted to know as he claimed his cup.

“Like I’m gonna tell my secrets to the Sheriff.”

“Oh man, the laws that are being broken on this trip,” Greg lamented, but didn’t turn down the cup pushed in his direction.

“The trip is young yet, we’re just getting started,” Shane told him.

“I sure hope so!” Sara added, making a grab for Shane’s cup while he fended her off.

“You gotta try this shit, Mick.” Shane passed over a cup.

Mick accepted the drink. “How is Crazy Randy?” he asked.

“Asking after Buckshot Butt.”

“ _Who_?” Josef asked, smelling a story.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you about that!” Beth took a sip of the shine and immediately erupted in a coughing fit.

Mick helpfully patted her on the back. “Only if we get a story about Josef and Shane,” he told them, knowing it was inevitable that his would come out and hoping for something in return.

Josef tilted head to side, seemed to be considering. “We could tell them about the triplets,” he suggested.

Shane fanned himself with both hands at the memory.

“We don’t want to hear about that!” Beth told them.

“Naw, you’re too young,” Josef agreed.

“Speaking of the subject, aren’t you a bit young to have all this history with Shane?” Greg asked Josef. Since Greg had no idea they were vampires, to him it appeared that there was at least a ten years difference in ages.

“I’m older than I look.”

“Yeah, you know how it is in L.A., land of plastic surgery,” Shane quipped. “I heard Jay-Jay had a pec job, too.”

“Bite me,” Josef groused.

“With fangs or without?”

Mick spit out a mouthful of the shine he’d just taken.

“Hey – don’t waste this stuff!” Silas complained.

“Jay Jay??” That was Beth, always hot on the trail of a good nickname or other item she could use to tease/torment Josef with.

“If he keeps telling my secrets I’m going to tell a few of his,” Josef said to himself, not happy about the nickname slip.

“That’s an empty threat and you know it,” Shane replied mildly.

“Have a mentioned lately that I hate you?”

“Don’t mind the guys,” Freddy told the shocked Mick, misunderstanding why Mick was surprised since Freddy was also clueless about the true nature of his two band mates. “They’re a little weird, comes with the territory in Alaska. Josef is obviously an honorary Alaskan.”

“That’s not the phrase I’d used,” Beth told him. “Insane is the word I’d use.”

“I’m the Designated Voice of Sanity,” Greg told her.

“It’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it,” Shane agreed.

Sara sat down in Shane’s lap, putting one arm around his neck. He gave her a warning look and slight head shake, but let her stay. “I heard it’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for,” she teased.

“What do you call those sandwiches were you have the bread, then the meat, then the bread, then more meat, then another slice of bread?” Josef asked the room as if for no reason…but thinking of the triplets, and the women currently in the room.

“Well, okay but… we need two more pieces of bread,” Shane joked, not serious but playing along.

“Only one,” Josef continued the private conversation that no one else understood a word of – or maybe they just didn’t want to.

Shane whistled. “Then we can take care of both our ‘fs’ in one go.” (Since Mick would kick their asses).

“I might be up for that…”

Shane gave Sara an incredulous look at her words, realizing she was following the conversation and understood that they were talking about an orgy. “I don’t fucking think so!”

“A bunch of drunk, rowdy vampires, does that scare anybody else?!” Beth said in a voice only those with sensitive hearing would catch, then louder to Greg: “If they get out of hand, can you arrest them?”

“No,” Josef said in a low voice. “He can’t arrest us.”

“Oookay. Maybe Sara and I should go home.” Beth loved vampires; she was part of the community. But she wasn’t stupid, and the atmosphere ever since they’d returned from shopping was making her decidedly nervous.

“Good idea,” Shane unexpectedly piped up, dislodging Sara from his lap, ignoring her hurt and surprised eyes flashing at him.

“You’re joking, right?” the red head asked.

“Looks like it’s time for your cookies and warm milk, sugar,” Josef decided to fuel the fire by adding.

Shane casually backhanded Josef, sending him and his chair flying backwards.

Beth grabbed Sara’s arm and all but dragged her out of the dressing room, as Josef picked himself up off the floor and made a show of smoothing down his rumpled clothes as if he were wearing an Armani suit rather than jeans and T-shirt.

“What the fuck?!” Sara demanded angrily as she was led out the door.

“Wow – Beth’s smarter than I gave her credit for,” Josef told Mick, who smiled and nodded proudly.

“Is there a full moon?” Freddy inquired.

Mick paused to consider. “I think that’s werewolves. Werewolfs? Werewolves.”

“I knew a werewolf once,” Josef told them.

“You did not!” Mick denied.

“His name was Jack,” Shane added.

“You’re shitting me?!” that from Silas.

“What’s the secret recipe to this stuff anyway?” Josef asked, helping himself to another cup of shine.

“Don’t know, didn’t ask.”

“Take care of that Randy. We can’t let anything happen to him.” Josef looked at Mick. “Can we, _Buckshot Butt_?”

“I thought you didn’t know about that?!” Mick demanded. In his sloshed brain he was beginning to feel slightly jealous, seeing his best friend sharing so many inside jokes with someone else. Just who the hell was Shane Alexander?

 

XXX

 

“I don’t believe those idiots!” Beth was fuming, making her way through the club crowd toward the door, her hand firmly on Sara’s wrist. Perhaps she understood the veiled lewd suggestion of Josef’s after all…

“What is wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with you?” Beth countered. “You told me you’re not stupid. Act like it.”

“Go to hell.”

“Hey, there, gorgeous.”

Beth looked up to see a man had stepped in front of their path. He was big, smiling, drunk. Not a good combo on a man.

“Oh, this is just great,” Beth muttered. “Excuse us.”

His friend stepped next to him, cutting off her escape route. “What’s your hurry? Foxy chicks like you shouldn’t have to leave alone.”

Beth stuck her hand – the one with the wedding ring on it – where they could see it. “Do they really still use that outdated expression?”

“I like the feisty ones,” friend said, daring to caress her cheek with his hand.

Beth decided she was going to enjoy pounding her frustrations out on these two…

 

XXX

 

Back in the dressing room, as if of one mind, three heads rose simultaneously, regarding each other in agreement as they heard a distant altercation. They rose together.

“Oh, it is _so_ on,” Josef announced.

 

XXX

 

“I’m gonna tell you just once, in words of small syllables,” Beth was telling the idiot jerks. “Take a hike. Buzz off. Beat it. We are not interested.”

“What about you, sweet thing?” Jerk #2 asked, eying Sara up and down like a starving man at an all you can eat buffet bar.

“Is there a problem here?” Josef said in his most polite, deadliest voice.

Beth and Sara looked over to see Mick, Josef, and Shane standing tall, the three of them side by side, avenging vampires.

“I believe my wife told you to buzz off,” Mick said. “Didn’t you understand, or do you just speak Cave Man?”

“Hey – fuck you!” big idiot #1 said cleverly, shoving Mick’s shoulder.

“I so don’t believe this is happening,” Beth said under her breath.

“I don’t see any wedding ring on you, sweet thing,” #2 said, unwisely reaching out to touch – but never connected as Shane’s hand shot out and stopped his cold.

“You wanna take this outside?!” #1 challenged.

“Well, if you insist,” Josef told him.

“Winners take all?” This from #2.

“Let’s go,” Mick told him, eyes flashing.

The two fools headed for the back door leading to the alley.

“Let’s bring ‘em down, boys,” Shane told them, and the vampires followed.

 

XXX

 

Beth was at the bar ordering a shot of tequila, so mad she didn’t even notice or comment on the shot of Jack Daniels Sara had in front of her. “I thought they were better than that. They’re acting like _men_.  How childish! That was so embarrassing.”

“That was so _hot_ ,” from Sara.

The three men made their way back over to the ladies after taking care of business outside, smiling and adjusting their disheveled clothing. “Everything okay here?” Mick asked.

Beth’s eyes shot daggers at him. “Oh, it’s a good thing you sleep in a freezer because you wouldn’t be sleeping in _our_ bed tonight, I can tell you that,” she whispered to him.

“Hey, what did I do?”

She turned and grabbed Sara again, moving them toward the door for the second time that night.

Shane stopped Sara with a desperate hand on her arm, looking into her eyes intently. “Hey. Did I ever thank you?”

“For what?”

“Giving me my rock and roll back.” The thing Shane loved most in all the centuries he’d spent on this earth, which he’d thought lost to him when it faded from popularity for those long years. Sara knew. It was in his blood, and in his soul, and now he had it back.

Time stood still as they looked into each other’s eyes. His burned with a flame that drew her. She unconsciously swayed toward him, as their surroundings ceased to exist. He leaned forward, and grabbed her face in his hands…

And abruptly the spell was broken as Mick was pulling Shane back toward the dressing room. “Let’s get back to the party,” he said.

And Beth was pulling Sara in the other direction. She almost screamed in frustration.

“We’re getting the hell out of here, Sara.”

“I hate you people! You’re foiling me at every turn. I coulda got lucky,” Sara continued to complain all the way to the car. “Shane was drunk, rowdy, horny – I was sitting on his lap, I know he was horny…”

Beth was doing her own talking to herself. “What’s worse than a bunch of drunken rowdy vamps? A bunch of vamps with hangovers, hopefully…”

_If there’s any justice._

 

**End of Chapter Two: Let Me Go To the Show**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song done during rehearsal was “Let Me Go to the Show” by Poison. The saying on Shane's T-Shirt was also taken from a Poison song. Andy Taylor is the simple Sheriff of Mayberry played by Andy Griffith, who gave the impression of being tougher than he acted with his friendly smile and unassuming way. The werewolf joke is a reference to Wolfman Jack. Look it up on Wikepedia. Any other questions? ;)


	3. Only Time Will Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings make things more complicated. Is it really a lover's triangle, or is there more going on than meets the eye?

 

  
_You're the one that touched my very soul_  
 _The one who held on tight, god knows you never let go_  
 _Only time will tell if our love is scratched in sand, or if it's etched in stone_  
 _Can you teach my soul to fly, can you set me free..._  
(Poison)

 

_Hands caressing her body, legs entangling with hers. His presence was everywhere, all around and through her and on her. The pleasure coursing through her body was just on the edge of too much, yet he pushed her higher relentlessly. His voice caressed her too, made her squirm and beg for more. It was sweet torture, this ecstasy taking possession of her body as he did. She threw her head back and cried out, as the sensations drove her higher…_

And Sara woke up in her solitary hotel room, breathing hard and aching from the dream.

“God, the next time somebody pulls me away from him I’m gonna kill them,” she vowed. Her hand slid under the sheet, lightly caressing her stomach before sliding lower, fingers slipping between the material of her bikini briefs, teasing. Her thighs opened wider as she imagined they were his fingers, letting herself get lost in the fantasy…

 

XXX

 

Shane’s knuckles were poised to knock on the door when he stopped mid motion. He turned the abortive movement into running fingers through his hair instead, turning his senses up to figure out what was teasing at the edge of his consciousness. And they reported in loud and clear.

The breathy little sounds she was making instantly drove him to distraction, tightening his pants. The smell of her was so close he might as well have had his nose buried in her pussy. His inner eye provided the sight of her spread out on the bed, waiting for him; he remembered the feel of her body when she was sitting on his lap. Taste was the only one missing; he needed taste to complete the image...

“Shay…”

Shane banged his head hard against the door, only realizing what he’d done afterward, when he heard a tentative, “Is somebody there?” float through the door. He froze, feeling absurdly guilty, as if he’d gotten caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Crazy, really, it was Sara who’d gotten caught, and she had no idea that she’d been discovered. And how easy would it be to just turn the knob, let feet carry him into the room? To join her on the bed where they both wanted him to be? It was getting harder to remember why he didn’t.

_Fuck_. “It’s me, this is your wake up call,” he told her through the door.

“Okay, yeah, I’m up,” she finally answered.

_Hell, so am I, thanks to you!_   he thought. Aloud he said, “We’ll see you in the dining room in fifteen.”

 

XXX

 

The late afternoon sun slanted through the blinds, bathing everyone at the table in reddish highlights. Greg and Freddy were there already, but Silas wasn’t in sight. Shane sat there reading the newspaper, his sunglasses perched on his nose. A half empty coffee cup sat in front of him, along with a plate with the remains of “breakfast” on it. The other two had recently arrived, and were still in the process of fixing their coffees and ordering food.

“Shove over,” Sara told Shane, feeling unaccountably annoyed without knowing why. When he made room for her she slid into the booth next to him, and grabbed his coffee, taking a mouthful. “Eww, it’s cold.”

Shane regarded her mildly over his glasses. “I’ve been here awhile. Who told you to steal other people’s food, anyway?” He took the cup from her and brought it to his mouth carefully. “Not bad,” he said neutrally, tongue unconsciously darting out to lick the rim. “Taste’s good.”

The intensity with which he was watching her began to seep warmth into her, making her forgot all about being angry. Unfortunately, that only lasted until the bleached blond in tight pants and a low cut blouse that highlighted her DD’s. The woman had been passing by their table, but when she saw them she stopped with a smile of recognition.

“Wow, are you guys staying here at this hotel, too?”

“Um…” Shane responded intelligently.

“Yes, we are. Great to see you again. Bambi, isn’t it?” Freddy said with a leering grin.

“You, too,” Bambi smiled, one hand touching Shane on the shoulder the other moving to rest on the side of her neck, under her blouse. “Really great. Maybe I’ll see you again after the show tonight?” Her voice dripped innuendo, and was directed mainly at Shane.

“Maybe yeah, see you later,” Shane mumbled.

“See ya later, Bambi,” Greg chimed in.

Bambi lingered for another moment, but when she saw she’d apparently been dismissed, she continued on her way out of the restaurant.

“ _Bambi_?!” Sara screeched when the woman was gone, causing Shane to wince at the noise so close to his sensitive ears. “Jesus. That’s more disgusting than the coffee! She’s probably all silicon, too.”

Freddy smirked. “You’re just jealous, little bit.”

As Sara lunged across the table, Shane had to grab her around the waist to keep her from attacking Freddy for his comment. His laughter didn’t help, only made her struggle harder to get at him.

“Cut it out!” Shane demanded to Freddy, as Greg smacked him in the arm in reprimand.

Shane pulled Sara tightly against him, letting her know she wasn’t going to be allowed to pummel the smirk off of Freddy’s face. “My Wild Child,” he murmured fondly.

And even though she was still dazedly trying to figure out if that could have possibly been his tongue she had felt against the skin under her ear when he was pulling her back, and even though she’d always liked him calling her by his private nickname, she couldn’t stand being around them for one more second.

“Fuck you.” She spat, getting up from the table. “You know what? I’m not hungry. Come get me when you guys are ready to leave.” She left without looking back.

“What did I do?” Shane asked, looking confused.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Freddy asked.

Shane glared at him.

“Well,” Greg said. “This is deteriorating pretty rapidly.”

“Thanks for the newsflash, Voice of Sanity.” The waitress was passing by their table; Shane touched her arm to get her attention. “You wouldn’t happen to have an aspirin around here? I feel one of my headaches coming on…”

 

XXX

 

Sara stared at herself in the mirror, smoothing out her party dress for the hundredth time and angrily wiping away tears that would ruin her makeup. She had loved the dress when she’d seen it at the mall, but now it was woefully lacking. Or maybe it was her that was lacking. Nothing to be done about that without serious surgical intervention. She was never going to have a full, curvaceous, voluptuous body, and age wasn’t going to change those facts. She was petite, small boned, like her mother.

She knew guys back home considered her hot, and she had a good body… but when faced with women like the blond bombshell from the restaurant, with her boobs spilling out of her plunging neckline like overripe melons… it was easy to feel insecure. To wonder if Shane was only humoring her, being nice to her because he was a nice guy. It felt so right when they were together, like the universe clicked into place. She could spend hours just hanging with him, they didn’t even have to do anything or even talk. Just being able to hang out during band rehearsals was like a special gift, to be inside his inner circle was all she’d ever wanted. They were two apart; the rest of the world was crazy, and they stood in the center, understanding each other perfectly. At least that’s what she’d believed.

Maybe Beth was right and she was wrong, about everything. Just a stupid ‘kid’ nobody takes seriously. Where they back there, laughing about her right now? _Am I a fucking joke to those guys?_

The memory of Freddy’s smirk rose up in her mind’s eye. Grabbing one of her new boots, she hurled it at the mirror, watching in satisfaction as it shattered into a spider web pattern.

 

XXX

 

Shane’s wisdom: the secret is in the details.

Human beings are easily manipulated. Just put in enough little details and they’ll never get a clue. Their memories are fragile, flawed things, created more from emotion and imagination than actual facts. Case in point: the residents of Resurrection will tell you Shane Alexander is an excellent cook (although sometimes he does get distracted and burn things), addicted to his coffee, gets stress headaches (he’s always bumming aspirin off his dispatcher), and just last month he cut himself pretty badly slicing a bagel for breakfast. None of this, of course, is true.

Greg drained the last of his coffee and regarded Shane across the table. Freddy had gone to make a phone call, and Silas never had shown up. Unlike Shane, Silas wasn’t much into pretending to partake in all those human idiosyncrasies, like eating. The two men were alone.

“About Sara.” When Greg saw he had Shane’s undivided attention, he continued. “That girl has serious anger issues. I didn’t realize the extent of it until this trip.”

“Maybe you would too, if everyone treated you like your feelings and thoughts don’t count just because of your age.”

Frustration, disappointment, insecurity, they were also valid reasons. If Shane hadn’t figured out about those, he did have some idea of what it would take to calm her down and in truth he really didn’t blame her for her anger. It was hers, and he allowed her to have it. Kind of enjoyed her feisty nature, if truth be told…

“Maybe. You know, we went through this with my daughter just a few years ago...”

“She’s not a child, she deserves to be heard and respected,” Shane cut in sharply.

“And you’re the thirty-seven year old Sheriff of the town.” Greg’s gaze held a wealth of meaning. “I’m afraid you’re in for a whole heap ‘a trouble.”

Shane’s first impulse was to deny, his second to get angry. Instead, he conceded the point. “You’re probably right.”

“Is it worth it?”

Shane contemplated that for a few moments, and found a grin slowly spreading over his face. “Yeah. Yeah, she is."

Greg’s eyes widened in alarm, but before he could say anything, Shane had thrown the tip down on the table and risen. “We’d better get going. Thanks for the advice,” he added.

“Wait a minute! I don’t think you--“But he was already talking to Shane’s retreating back.

The other secret is that they’re manipulated because most of them want to be. They don’t want to know the truth. That tells you they couldn’t handle it. But there are others… who aren’t so easily fooled. They’ll either turn into your best ally, or your worst enemy.

Hopefully, Greg would fall into the former category.

 

XXX

 

Josef’s mansion – and that was the only word for it – was huge, ornate, amazing. Shane had told Sara that his friend was rich, but even her ride in the Ferrari hadn’t prepared her for this. She stood off to the side, just observing. Waiters milled through the crowd, passing out hors d’oeuvres, glasses of champagne, and some other drink in dark goblets. A lot of beautiful women were on the guest list, so many it made her eyes hurt. She almost didn’t recognize the band, dressed as they were in atypical suits instead of their usual jeans. Shane looked amazing of course, his long blond hair loose around his shoulders, cream-colored suit making him stand out in a room where the predominant color was black. He kept trying to catch her eye, but for some reason she found herself looking away every time, until someone else would come up to him and divert his attention.

 

XXX

 

Josef called it a ‘pre-show’ reception, and had insisted on throwing it for the band. It annoyed Shane more than anything else, but he played the gracious guest anyway. It was worth it, just to see Sara looking so beautiful in that hot little black number she was wearing – even if she was still giving him the cold shoulder.

“You look like you’re rather not be here,” Mick observed, walking up to him.

Shane shrugged. “It’s okay. I just hate it when he feels the need to show off for me.”

Mick’s eyebrow rose, but Shane didn’t seem to be volunteering any further information.

As they drifted over to a couch and sat down, Shane did surprisingly continue. “I didn’t really like it all that much when I was a part of it, back in the day.” He contemplated his glass of blood. “I don’t know… maybe I’m getting set in my ways in my old age. Not good for a vampire.”

“Or maybe you’re just not ready to move on to the next life yet.”

“I don’t know if I ever will be,” Shane admitted. “You know how you sometimes hear human’s talk about how they feel like they were born after their time? They have an affinity with the Renaissance days or something, and feel out of place in their own time?” Mick nodded. “Well with me it’s like I was born before my time. In all the centuries, all I’ve seen and done – I was meant to be a rocker in the 1960’s, 70’s and especially the 80’s. That’s where my soul is. It’s what I’ve been waiting for, all this time. I can’t shake it. It’s who I am. The music just… there isn’t even words to explain.”

“What about your job as Sheriff?” Mick asked, wanting to keep him talking.

“For years, my style of rock was – as the song goes – ‘tragically unhip’. Hard rock, heavy metal… reduced to being called ‘hair bands’ by smirking idiots. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Aerosmith was one of the only bands that was able to keep the public affection, by doing theme songs for popular movies and stuff. You can’t kill rock and roll though, and now all the old bands are touring, enjoying more acceptance again. The bands calling themselves ‘alternative’ are starting to sound more and more like just good old fashioned Rock. But in that interim, a lot of us got discouraged, I guess we really thought our time was over. So I did what I regularly did before that. I moved onto something else.”

“Are you considering leaving Resurrection to go back on the road?”

“I like being the Sheriff. They need me…well, they need a vamp to keep the peace up there. You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt conflicted like this. My duty to them on the one side, the music calling to me on the other.”

“Then maybe it’s not time yet,” Mick suggested, waiting to see how his advice would be taken. Shane wasn’t exactly asking for it, but he was sorta encouraging it…

Shane looked at Mick with some amusement in his eyes. “It either will be, or it won’t be,” he answered a bit cryptically. He put a hand on the other vamp's shoulder. “Trust me. Life happens while you’re making other plans. So the only thing you can do is let the road choose you, and accept the consequences of your actions.” He rose. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to go find Sara.”

 

XXX

 

Once upon a time Sara dreamed of attending parties like this. When she was younger, when her family first brought her to Alaska, she would get lost in books and movies… and music, and imagine a different life. Now she was here… but she felt so cold inside. It was a strange feeling; she’d never experienced it before and she wasn’t sure what it meant.

Instead of enjoying the party, she found herself wandering around. The view of the city from up there was pretty impressive from the pool area, but the crowd of people made her feel claustrophobic, so instead she made her way out to the garden. It was darker there, the palms and other lush tropical foliage providing a welcome refuge. The noise was muted too, the sound of the elaborate fountain adding to the tranquility. Or maybe they called it a water wall – she’d never seen anything like it before, didn’t really know what it was. She found a bench and sat down, hoping for some peace and maybe a few answers from inside.

“Ah, there’s the lovely Sara.” Josef’s voice startled her, as she hadn’t heard him approach. “Un-chaperoned, no less. Where’s big brother?”

She frowned, not liking the implication. “He’s not my keeper.”

“Ah, but _is_ he a keeper?”

“I think the question is, am I,” she replied, instantly kicking herself. She hadn’t meant to reveal so much.

Josef’s hand reached over, brushing a lock of hair back from her face. She couldn’t help feeling a little tingle at the simple gesture. “Believe me when I tell you, any man would be an idiot not to consider you as one.”

Her eyes prickled at the compliment, so welcome. She understood why all the women flocked around him; with his boyish grin and sex appeal he probably had no trouble charming them into his bed.

“Thank you.” She nibbled the end of her index finger, contemplating her next move. #1: She liked Josef, couldn’t deny she enjoyed spending time with him. #2: He was Shane’s old friend, even if they were a very strange and unlikely pair of buddies. #3: as Shane’s friend, he might have the answers she needed. Trouble was, she hated asking.

Now, despite what a lot of people thought about Sara, she wasn’t really manipulative; she wasn’t going to play the wounded damsel all wooed by the handsome, rich businessman. She could hint around, but just the idea of possibly creating more frustration for herself was enough to cross that one off the list. There was only one way, really, and luckily it happened to be her forte, for better or worse.

The direct approach. “Has Shane ever said anything about me?”

“Shane doesn’t talk about his private life much to anyone, not even me.”

She smiled. “Ah, but I didn’t ask you about him, I asked you if he told you anything about _me_.”

Josef inclined his head in acknowledgment, but paused before speaking as if gathering his own thoughts. “It’s my experience that when Shane wants something -- he goes after it, and he gets it.”

Sara blinked, not quite able to process the words. _When he wants something he goes after it. So, if he_ doesn’t _go after it…_

“ _No_.” The whisper of denial came from the depths of her. She jumped up from the bench and backed away from him, shaking her head. Now, now she realized she’d never believed any of them, not really…

Josef moved towards her, alarmed at her reaction. “Sara—“

“No!” She backed away, as he advanced closer in an attempt to calm her. “No…” Her voice had risen with each denial.

“WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?!” another voice demanded. Sara and Josef both turned as Shane stalked forward, eyes cold enough to freeze hell.

For one timeless moment all three stared at one other.

Sara was the one to break the spell, as she rounded on Shane. “You don’t want me? That‘s fine, go and play with Bambi -- but don’t pull some kind of big brother shit on me. You know what? I’m done. Done with Alaska and L.A. and you. I’m leaving. I hear “Fallen Angel” is touring the east coast right now and their lead guitarist it really hot. My friend Judy is on the road with them, I think I’ll join her.”

She ran off before a stunned Shane could stop her. That left Shane and Josef alone.

“What the fuck did you tell her?” Shane growled through his fangs. When Josef didn’t immediately answer, a hand went around his neck and he was pushed back, slammed into the wall. “If you don’t wanna die in the next ten seconds you’d better tell me what happened here and why Sara is so upset.”

Josef managed to give Shane a hard shove and dislodge himself. He backed up a step, loosening his collar. “Well, well, well, the Great Shane Alexander actually losing control. I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“You wanna live to see another one?”

The look in Josef’s eyes was one of defiance, challenge, and yes, there was some fear there. What Shane didn’t see, was guilt.

“Knyaz Konstantin.”

“Fuck!” Josef exclaimed at the title, spinning around. Wrong move to turn his back on Shane, when he did he found himself once again up against the wall. “You break my wall, you’re paying for it,” he told him.

Shane pressed close against his back, breath in his ear. “There’s very few people who could ever make me lose control, you’re one of ‘em. You wanna play games? You know I don’t play, Jay-Jay.”

Josef got enough leverage to push away from wall, throwing his weight back. The momentum sent both of them crashing into the water. Both were immediately on their feet again, circling each other warily.

“How are you on listening?" Josef asked.  "I never thought I’d see the day when _you_ fucked up so royally. What are you having the vamp version of a midlife crisis or something?”

Shane took a step toward him, he moved back a step. “I’d hoped you’d outgrow wanting to push my buttons after a few centuries, but you never did. You never did learn you don’t have to, not with me.”

Josef shrugged. “Humans are into extreme sports; I bait Shane Alexander. Everybody’s got to have a death defying hobby.”

“If you don’t drop the act I’m gonna kick your ass. This is _me_. Just start talking.”

“Okay, yeah, I like her. She…reminds me of someone. I asked, you told me there was nothing going on between you.”

“And you knew it was a lie,” Shane interjected.

“That’s the part where the win-win scenario came to mind. First though, I would never purposely hurt Sara – and you _know_ that. At the risk of using a clichéd excuse: it wasn’t what it looked like. I’ve got this idiot friend. He was in love with this human woman, and it took him forever to admit it. He was too busy telling himself it was wrong, that he was a monster and didn’t deserve her.” Shane’s eyebrows rose at that. “I watched him be stupid and miserable for a long time. So here you come, with your chick in tow, only you’re apparently refusing to admit you want her.”

“And you thought I was also an idiot?” Shane asked incredulously.

“Well, there’s the thing. Since I know you stopped flogging yourself centuries ago, I had to conclude maybe you didn’t want her.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Yeah, that’s what you always used to say when you wouldn’t let me do something I wanted to do, Shay-Shay.”

“Okay, and what was Jay-Jay’s brilliant win-win scenario?”

“I turn my irresistible charm on her. Either I get the girl – or it pushes you into making the move on her yourself.”

“And last but most important, why was she so upset?”

“She asked, and I told her the truth. That when you want something, you go after it.”

Shane closed his eyes and when he opened them again they were normal, human-looking again. “So she thinks…” _I don’t want her._

“What are you going to do?”

“What else? Go after her.”

 

XXX

 

At the hotel, Shane stopped at his own room just long enough to change out of his battered suit, and then he headed to Sara’s. All his senses were on high alert from the fight and the charged emotions; he knew she was there, he’d heard her and smelled her and felt her even before stepping out of the elevator.

“Sara,” he called nicely through the closed door. There was no answer, not even a pause in her movements inside. “SARA!” he yelled, pounding on the door with a fist. Still she ignored him, which wouldn’t do at all. The door was locked with deadbolt and chain, but one good shove from him and it crashed open, banging against the wall behind. It bounced off the doorstop and closed again, albeit slightly crookedly.

Sara stopped packing her suitcase and turned to him, hands on hips. “How dare you! I’d like to know who you think you are, ‘cause I got a daddy and I don’t need a brother. I’m not sure where that’s coming from, but I do know you can’t make my decisions for me – I’m of legal age. You know what I see when I go to the shows? Plenty of girls there, my age and even younger. Do you know what they’re doing? Exactly what I’m going to be doing.”

Shane had been standing silently during her tirade. When she was done, he grabbed her and they fell onto the bed. He grabbed handfuls of her hair, taking her mouth fervently. Her response was immediate, and equal.

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into,” he told her in between the desperate kisses.

“Whose fault is that?”

Whose indeed. “I hate it when Josef’s right,” he growled under his breath. Aloud, he said, “And then what? You think if you go to the shows and hang out backstage like some groupie, that one of them is going to fall in love with you, or even treat you the way you deserve to be treated?! They only want one thing.”

“What do _you_ want?” she asked him.

Her question gave him pause, as he stared down at her. “I don’t know.”

“Well at least that’s honest. You know what? I don’t know either. Yeah, I’m young. And I’m all about going out there and experiencing life and figuring it out.”

His eyes flashed at her. “And that’s what you wanna do? Go on the road with the bands?”

Her eyes flashed back at him. “Do I have a better offer?”

They regarded each other in silence, Shane holding himself up over her with his arms as he pondered his decision. The change in his eyes telegraphed his choice to her loud and clear.

A slow smile spread over her face. As he leaned back on his knees, she reached for his belt buckle and he matched it, helping her get it open. He spared one hand to fondle a breast through the thin camisole top she was wearing, no bra to hinder the fingers that pinched her nipple teasingly. Meanwhile, she’d managed to get his zipper down, and reach her hand into his pants. He enjoyed her caress for a few moments, eyes glued to the rise and fall of her chest as her breathing grew heavier with arousal.

There was one more thing that needed to be said though, before he could give in to the drive to take her now. “There’s something you need to know first, babe.”

Sara flopped back on the bed, throwing her hands up dramatically at the unwelcome interruption.

Shane grinned. Then he ripped her shirt right down the middle, exposing her breasts to his hungry eyes; a promise, enjoying the combination of surprise and pleasure on her face. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to that soon enough.”

“What then?!” she prodded.

“I’m a vampire,” he told her, then waited for her reaction.

The seconds ticked by on her silence. He couldn’t read her expression, but it didn’t seem negative. Finally, just when he was beginning to worry, she spoke.

“Does that mean we can’t have sex?”

Shane grinned and shook his head. “No, it definitely does not mean we can’t have sex.”

“Well okay then,” she said, and reached up to pull his T-shirt over his head.

Shane slid his fingers inside her panties and rubbed her there, his arousal inching up several notches to find her so wet for him already. He watched as she closed her eyes at the contact, lost in the pleasure for long moments.

Blindly she reached out for a handful of his jeans, trying to pull him closer to her. “More.”

“Yes.”

He hooked his fingers into the waistbands of her underwear and shorts, sliding them both down together as she helped by lifting her hips so he could get them off. His own pants followed quickly, tossed over his shoulder, dismissed without a thought.

Shane crawled back over her and paused, just watching her. She raised her leg and hooked it around his thigh, urging him forward. His eyes slid shut and he lowered himself on top of her again, finding her mouth without sight, automatically rocking his body into hers. She rocked back, her nipples brushing tantalizingly against his chest, the heat at her center calling to him like a siren.

“Shay…”

“I gotta have you.”

“Have me,” she agreed.

Looking into her passion glazed eyes was like mainlining an aphrodisiac. Unable to wait any longer, he slowly sank into her welcoming body. Then they were moving to their own private music, the beat of her heart. All five of his senses drowned in her presence; he could feel her moving through him, taste her sweet blood without ever having to break skin. He kissed her mouth, her neck, letting taste have its fill, finding the soft, creamy skin instantly addictive.

“I wanna be with you,” she whispered, answering his previous question, when he’d asked her what she wanted.

“And I want you with me.” He took her face in his hands, devouring her mouth with his own. “I want you. Feel how hard you make me,” he told her, pushing deeper.

“Do it,” she urged. “Fuck me.”

Obeying the comment, he held himself up on powerful arms and thrust harder; driving them higher, urged on by her increasingly desperate moans and cries. The pleasure built quickly, passing back and forth between them in waves, her body so hot and tight around him it was almost unbearable. Then, it was unbearable, her body tightening around him as she sobbed her release, and his own washed over him like a tsunami.

In the calm after the storm they lay there together, recovering, his face buried in her neck as he listened to the blood flowing through her veins. Both boneless, sated. At peace.

“Your parents are gonna kill me.”

 

**End of Chapter Three: Only Time Will Tell**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, "Only Time Will Tell" is by Poison as well. Do you sense a pattern here? LOL!


	4. Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heart has a mind of its own.

 

_This heart has a mind of its own…_

 

“Um, anyone noticed anything missing? Like our lead singer?!” Freddy was pacing the dressing room. The show was due to start in ten minutes, and Shane had yet to arrive.

“Calm down, Freddy, he’ll be there,” Greg soothed, shooting a look at Mick as if for help.

Mick shrugged. “Maybe he’s just running late.”

“It’s not like him,” Freddy insisted. “Shane never misses a gig, or even comes late.”

“Well, uh, I’m sure he has a good reason…”

Beth pulled Mick aside to whisper to him. “Have you noticed who else isn’t here? I hope that’s a good sign…”

Everyone stared at the clock. It didn’t stop, and Shane didn’t walk through the door.

Finally, Silas spoke up. “Mick, you’ll have to go on for him.”

“ _What_?!” Mick squeaked.

Silas thrust a guitar into his hands. “We don’t have a choice; it’s time to go on.”

“I don’t even know the songs!” Mick protested, feeling a bit panicky.

“We’ll have to improvise. We need you.”

“I’m gonna kill Shane.”

 

XXX

 

“Did you change your mind?”

Shane snorted into Sara’s neck and she giggled at the sensation. “You know better than to listen to idiots. You were right all along.” He rose up to look her in the eye. “Never let anyone make you doubt yourself. Shane’s wisdom.” He winked at her.

“I’d be pissed off if I wasn’t so well fucked,” she said mildly.

Shane threw back his head and laughed. “I guess I’ll have to keep you well fucked then, won’t I?” he told her with a leer, sliding his hand around to squeeze her butt.

“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed. “After the show we can—“

“Show!” he exclaimed, eyes darting to the clock radio on the night stand. “Holy shit, we’re late for the show!”

They both jumped out of the bed, scrambling to grab clothing and throw it on. Sara gazed ruefully at the remains of her now ruined top, then tossed it over her shoulder and got another out of the drawer.

Shane finished dressing and went to check out his image, which turned out to be a bit fractured. “Uh – what happened to the mirror, babe?”

Sara spared it a glance before continuing to dress. “Well, what kind of self-respecting rock band would this be if a hotel room didn’t get trashed?”

Shane nodded. “Good point. No problem, I’m sending the bill to Jay-Jay.”

“Don’t forget to add in the cost of my blouse and the door.”

“Got it.”

 

XXX

 

Mick ran out onto the stage with the other band members, taking his place front and center, willing the butterflies to subside and giving himself a pep talk. _You can do this. You did this before. Think Micky Johns. Just because it’s been THIRTY years, so what? It’s like riding a bike… right? What’s the worst that could happen?_

The crowd could get ugly, if the chanting of “we want Shane” he’d heard backstage before the show was anything to go by. Only a couple of shows in and they were already turning into die-hard Shane fans. Or he could look like an idiot, freeze up and lose his voice…

Greg came over and slung a supportive arm around his shoulder. “Are you ready to rock, Los Angeles?!” He yelled into the mike. A chorus of ‘yeahs’ rang up through the audience. “Okay! Now before you decide you’ve had too much to drink, this is _not_ Shane Alexander. Shane’s running late, so our special guest, Micky Johns, has agreed to help us out with a few songs. Hit it boys!”

He moved away, and Mick was on his own. In deference to their stand in, they had decided last minute to use “American Band” as their opening number rather than the harder one Shane would have done. Mick took a deep breath… and dove in. Forgot about the audience and just let the music carry him along, the beat of the drums pulsing through his body, and allowing the heat of the spotlights to melt the years away until he was Micky Johns again.

So engrossed was he in the music that it was a surprise when, near the end of the song, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Shane singing with him.

“We’re an American band, we’re an American band, we’re coming to your town we’ll help you party it down; we’re an American band…”

“Are you ready to rock the house down?!” Shane demanded into the mike when the song was over. The crowd cheered their affirmative. “Well, all right then!”

The lead guitar began the first notes of the next song, followed by the drums and bass. Shane leaned over the microphone and growled the lyrics, seducing the audience with his presence. “Like animals tonight we make it, you give an inch I’m gonna take it. I steal your love like a thief, to be as one is my belief…”

Mick joined in briefly, and then took the opportunity to make his escape, handing the guitar off to a roadie.

“Come with me and take my hand, it’s in the fire we must stand. I’ll take you down under my gun; our flesh and blood will be as one. Flesh and blood sacrifice, melts the heart like fire and ice. Flesh and blood like fire to ice, are you willing to sacrifice?”

_Flesh, blood, sacrifice. Good song for a vampire_ , Mick decided as he wiped the sweat off his face with the corner of his tank top, and joined Beth at the side of the stage.

 

XXX

 

As she felt Mick’s arms go around her from behind, Beth leaned back into him. She decided she liked the temporary change from his typical Henley’s and long coats, even if he did look the epitome of cool in them. She’d played seamstress to the band and taken scissors to a pair of jeans herself for the cause, making sure they were torn in all the right places. A borrowed, tight black tank top completed Mick’s stage outfit and showed off all his muscles nicely. As far as she was concerned, Micky Johns could give Shane Alexander a run for his money any day.

“You could’ve stayed up there with them,” she told him, a bit disappointed.

“Dipping your toe in the shallow part of the pool is one thing, diving straight into the deep shark-filled end…” he said into her ear over the music.

Beth inclined her head toward Sara, who was on the other side, face lit up and beaming from ear to ear. “She looks like a five year old on Christmas morning.”

“Yeah, I get a feeling she opened up her presents all right.”

She turned slightly towards him. “You can tell, right? I mean, you can get a glimpse of the recent past and see if anything happened.”

“Are you asking me to spy on them?”

“You’re a P.I.; you do it all the time with cheating spouses, don’t you?”

“Um, sometimes, yeah,” he admitted.

“Well then, c’mon. I’m dying of curiosity.”

Mick sighed, resigned to giving in to her, as always. “I don’t have to, I know already. I can smell Shane all over her. And sex. People never heard of showers?!” he muttered under his breath to himself.

Beth turned completely to face him. “Whoa. TMI, huh? Yeah, I never thought of it before, but I guess with that vamp sense of smell it wouldn’t be a secret.” She pondered that for a moment. “You mean that all the vampires can tell when you and I—“

Mick wondered if she’d be upset or embarrassed, but couldn’t stop the possessive smile from hinting at his lips as he responded. “Oh yeah, they all know you belong to _me_.”

Beth slipped her arm around him and stuck her hand in his back pocket, squeezing. “Mmm… I like that,” she purred. “And it better work both ways.”

 

XXX

 

Towards the end of the show, the music paused and the lights dimmed, and Shane pulled up a stool. “I’d like to take it down a notch right now. This is a song I just discovered, and I didn’t want to, I fought it,” he laughed a bit. “But I just… I had to cover it. I think maybe…” He glanced at a few people in turn, glittering eyes surprising those who knew him with their intensity. “Some of you will know why.” He smiled and started the soft guitar notes, then the words poured out.

“Wasted days and wasted nights; I feel lonely. I walk these streets and wonder why I ever listened to them say you are not the one for me – they’re all wrong,” he gave an ironic grin at the words. “They don’t see the things I see in you…”

He continued, his hauntingly soft yet rough voice conjuring the words into the air and weaving a spell of fragile passion.

“When everyone turns to go, I won’t leave you, when everything new gets old, I won’t listen when everyone says I’ll be better alone; I say this heart has a mind of its own…”

He smiled at Sara across the stage. And suddenly it was apparent the audience had disappeared. In the dark, there were only two. Tears slipped down her cheeks, catching the spotlight and shining like jewels. They both wanted to look away, to deny the intensity, but it was futile.

“When I see you across the room time stands still girl, every time I undress you, my heart starts to fall, in my arms and lay with me a little while, let the world just fade away. You and me. Let the world come crashing down; you can smile ‘cause you know that I won’t let you down. Let me be the only sound you can hear. Fall in my arms and lay with me a little while. Let the world just fade away. You and me.  When everyone turns to go, I won’t leave you. When everything new gets old, I won’t listen when everyone says I’ll be better alone; I say this heart has a mind of its own.” The guitar faded, echoing its last strains into the silent club.

“This heart has a mind of its own. I think that says it all. Thanks for listening.”

The band left the stage amid wild applause.

 

XXX

 

“Oh my god, that was beautiful,” Beth whispered, her own eyes suspiciously shiny as she watched the tears stream down Sara’s face. Someone handed the girl a tissue. The audience began their obligatory chant for the encores.

Even Mick looked moved by the song. “Yeah, it’s a beautiful song,” he told her with further meaning in the eyes that gazed at his wife adoringly. A moment later his lips were touching hers.

“Something happened here,” she began when the kiss was over. “I mean, it felt almost magical…”

Mick nodded. “Love happened here.” He took her in his arms, and kissed her more properly, ending the talking for quite some time, until the loud intrusion of the hard rocking encore song broke the spell for good.

 

XXX

 

Beth met up with Sara in the ladies room after the show. She was trying her best to wash off the smeared make up and get herself presentable again. She seemed embarrassed to be caught getting emotional.

Beth smiled at her gently. “Remind me to introduce you to the joys of tear-proof make up.” She touched Sara’s shoulder. “Listen, I uh, I want to apologize to you. I think you were right: I didn’t know you, or Shane.”

“It’s okay,” Sara responded, staring at the paper towels in her hand. “Fucking bastard made me cry,” she said under her breath after a moment, and Beth had the feeling she wished she could be mad about it.

Beth laughed and hugged her. “C’mon, let’s go give the fucking bastard hell.” She put her arm around Sara’s shoulder and walked her out.

 

XXX

 

When the women entered the dressing room, the rest of the group was already there. As Beth joined Mick, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto his lap.

“You like pretending I’m a groupie or something?” she asked him as his arms tightened around her waist.

“I might have a fantasy or two about that,” he admitted with a grin and suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

“Hmm… Keep this outfit on when we get home and we’ll definitely negotiate,” she told him.

Shane was slumped on the couch broodingly. Sara made her way over and joined him, but with about two feet of space between them. They looked like two people sitting next to each other on a couch -- trying to pretend they were just two people sitting next to each other on a couch.

The atmosphere in the room was strangely subdued. Josef seemed to be brooding too, Freddy only acted passingly interested in the groupie he’d brought backstage with him, Greg was studiously not looking at Shane or Sara, Silas was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed as if oblivious to everybody, Mick and Beth – well, Mick and Beth were distracted by certain rock star/groupie fantasies…

“We need some decent music in here,” Shane declared, reaching over to turn on the radio, and tuning into a rock station. As he contemplated his dirty finger nails and tapped his foot absently to the beat of the music, he pondered the thought that vampires, especially ones his age, weren’t supposed to have such complications in their lives. He stared over at Josef through narrowed eyes. Maybe Jay-Jay was right about the mid-vamplife crisis. Things had gotten out of control even faster than he’d expected. Odd, that he’d miscalculate that badly…

Suddenly they all noticed a commotion outside the door. A female could be heard insisting she knew the band, and from the sounds of it determined to be let into the dressing room. A few moments later, their bouncer, Bear, stuck his head into the room. Unfortunately, the woman used the advantage to push the door open far enough to scoot in.

“Sorry,” Bear told them. “She says she was here last night and was invited back.”

It was Bambi.

“Ah, thank god the comic relief has arrived,” Josef snarked.

“S’okay,” Silas told Bear, righting his chair and leaning forward, an odd look in his eyes – well, it wasn’t odd to a vampire, it was one that said he obviously figured Bambi was up for grabs as she wouldn’t be with Shane tonight.

Bambi made a beeline for the couch and sat down in between Shane and Sara, rudely ignoring her as she pushed her aside to get close to Shane. Both sets of eyebrows rose. Several pairs of eyes in the room were suddenly riveted to the tableau playing out before them.

“Who’s got the popcorn?” Josef stage whispered. Mick shushed him.

Sara shook her head and tapped Bambi on the shoulder. “I’m afraid you’re sitting on the wrong couch, chickie.” When there was no response she tapped again, harder.

Bambi finally turned to her as if just noticing her. “Oh, you’re a little thing, aren’t you? Did you want something, dear?” she asked, her tone openly condescending.

“I have what I want, thank you.”

“Fifty on Sara,” Josef offered sub-vocally, for vamp ears only.

“Like anybody’d bet against her?” Silas met his volume. “She’s gonna wipe the floor with Bambi.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Bambi answered Sara absently, her attentions going unerringly back to Shane. “Is this your little sister?”

Shane’s eyes widened dramatically, but he remained silent, waiting. It was no secret he enjoyed it when something stirred Sara up; he couldn’t help wanting to see what would happen next. And god knows Josef was right again, they’d needed something to break the solemn mood.

Bambi of course, could have known better if she had more than half a brain, since she’d seen the concert. Or more likely she did know, and was just taunting Sara on purpose.

Of course that still meant she was stupid.

“Hey Bimbo—I mean, Bambi!” Sara called loudly to get her attention. “Is there any part of your body that’s actually real?”

“What the hell do you mean by that?!” Bambi finally turned fully to her.

Sara smiled sweetly. “It means you’re out of luck. In fact, if you were the last female on earth, Shane would learn to take it up the ass.”

Bambi sputtered amid the whoops and gasps and hoots of the ‘crowd’. “How dare you!” She put her hand on Shane’s arm. “Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?!”

He pretended to think about it for a moment, as he caught Sara’s eye. She responded to his silent message. Smiling, she stepped around Bambi and sat herself down in Shane’s lap.

“Well, see,” he began, arm automatically going around Sara’s waist, “the family that plays together stays together, ain’t that right, Josef? And my little sis here gives head better than you do.”

“You people are disgusting!” Bambi muttered, jumping up off the couch and storming over to the door.

“Wow, that’s a compliment, coming from Bambi,” Sara noted.

“I’m honored,” Shane agreed.

“Fuck you all!” was her parting shot as she slammed the door behind her.

“I thought she’d never leave,” Sara said after a moment.

“Hey, um, I might’ve wanted some of that,” Silas complained, disappointed.

Now that Sara was closer, the weight of her solid presence on his body, Shane found himself fixating on the sight of the sweat pooling in the crevices of her neck and adding a light sheen to her skin. The smell of him on her, and sex, was a heady combination. The lingering exhilaration from the show magnified the effect. The need swamped him.

Sara was aware of his scrutiny as she wiped the perspiration off her face. Never one to just sit still and watch a concert, she always felt that if the band expanded their energy to put on a show for the audience, the least she could do was give her all too. She shared the experience with the band, so she was now also hopped up on adrenalin, sweaty, hoarse, and exhausted. She grabbed the wet paper towel she’d brought from the ladies room and started wiping her neck.

A softly spoken, “don’t” floated to her ears. Intrigued, she stopped, handing the towel to Shane instead. Catching her gaze with his own, he used it to wipe his own neck. She abruptly remembered her recent fantasy: the heat making them sweat, the ripping of her blouse, thrilled to realize several parts of it had actually invaded reality.

Beth unknowingly interrupted the mutual daydreaming. “Okay, I just have to ask you something,” she told Shane. “You almost seem like two different people sometimes. I mean, if I read my innuendo right, you were with this Bambi the other night. She was good enough for you then – now you’re treating her like this? Can you explain that to me?”

“How did I treat her?” he asked, curious. “She pushed her way in here, being rude and condescending, making veiled comments just to be mean. If she had behaved decently, you would have seen me doing the same. Actually, I made a point to stay out of it as much as I could.”

“Okay,” Beth conceded. “But that doesn’t explain why you’d want to be with someone like that in the first place.”

The other band members snorted their opinion of her question, but Shane smiled at her.

“That would be your fault,” he told her, including Mick in his gaze as well. If they hadn’t pulled Shane and Sara away from each other after the show, Bambi would have undoubtedly ended up with one of the others instead.

“Mine?!”

Shane didn’t elaborate, leaving Beth to figure it out for herself. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, it’s too hot in here, I’m gonna need to go get a breath of fresh air.”

Sara let him up, and he left the room. No more than thirty-five seconds later, Sara was also rising. “If I’m not back when my big brother gets back,” she said to Greg, “tell him I just went to the ladies room to freshen up.”

Greg rolled his eyes behind her back. “Do I look stupid to anybody here?” he murmured rhetorically.

Sara was at the door when Freddy added his opinion. “What do ya wanna bet, Shane went off to go find Bambi?” he taunted.

Her laughter floated back into the room as she left.

“Wow,” Josef commented. “No, _you_ don’t look stupid, Greg.”

 

XXX

 

As Sara pushed open the back door leading to the alley, a wave of cool nighttime air hit her welcomingly. The door slid shut behind her, muting the music from the club and delivering her into darkness that her eyes weren’t adjusted to. There was a light above the door, but its bulb was dark, burnt out or broken.

“Shay?” she called, the chill after being overheated making her shiver slightly. “Shane?”

The lack of response was just starting to spook her when arms went around her from behind and a hand over her mouth muffled her squeak of surprise. “Right here.”

The next moment she was pressed against the brick wall of the building and they were kissing.

“You’re driving me crazy, babe,” he told her.

“I’m glad the sweating like a pig wasn’t a turn off.”

“It’s like a red flag to a bull,” he said, kissing a trail around the side of her neck.

“Are you my bull?” she asked, grabbing him through his pants.

“Oh yeah,” he growled into her ear, making her shiver, for a different reason this time.

He pressed his body into her harder, licking the sweat from her neck. One hand stroked her thigh, sliding slowly up the short skirt she was wearing, savoring the trip to its goal.

Her hand was squeezing the bulge in his pants. “You know, I probably should prove that what you told Bambi about me is true.”

His eyes glazed over, but he shook his head. “Not now. Need to be inside you.”

“Oh, yes…” she agreed, her breath hitching at his words. When he reached her bikini briefs, she had the presence of mind to cover his hand with her own. “Don’t rip them unless you want me walking around here in this skirt and no underwear.”

The idea of her without underwear made him even hotter, but that was a fantasy he didn’t want to be sharing with the rest of the world, it would have to wait for a slightly longer skirt. He went to his knees to push the bikinis down and off her legs, stuffing them into his pocket. While he was down there, he couldn’t resist burying his face in her center, tongue teasing her roughly. She cried out, hands reaching back scramble for purchase against the wall.

Shane stood up and undid his pants, freeing his hard on. He lifted her easily and held her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he lowered her down onto him. Hands went to his shoulders and held tight as he pumped into her.

It was messy, semi-public, raunchy down-and-dirty-sex that was exhilarating like a hard tear- the –house- down concert. Better of course, because no show ever wrenched the pleasure from her like this, leaving her panting and crying for more, spiraling ever higher with each thrust. Higher, higher, like the top of the world or maybe the top of the Hollywood sign. The world was theirs. They were wild and free and rushing through space so fast the air hitting skin felt like little needles. She never wanted it to end…

She slammed back to earth with the shattering force of hitting the ground after jumping from a plane with no parachute. The world was quiet again, still. His arms were the only parachute she needed; he held her tightly his face resting against hers.

Shane,” was all she could manage.

“I…” She could feel his lashes against her skin, felt his eyes close and then finally open again. His lips kissed her cheek almost chastely. “I am in so much fucking trouble.” He set her back on her feet and handed over her underwear, tucking himself back into his jeans as she put them back on.

“What a wild ride,” she said. “Can I go on that ride again?”

“You have an unlimited VIP pass, baby,” he told her. “Don’t even have to wait in any long lines.”

“Cool.”

“One thing about that though,” he began, running a hand through his hair. “We already totally blew it here, but uh, it might be best if we kept this quiet for awhile, back home.”

“Well, not totally, Freddy thinks you went off to find Bambi,” she told him with amusement.

“Freddy’s stoned.”

“So you want to sneak around, meet for clandestine encounters in shadowy, secret places, grabbing gropes in dark alleys and quickies in out-of-the-way motel rooms?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Sara slipped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze. “That sounds so exciting. Sexy. _Reeely_ hot.”

He grinned. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Tell you what,” she began, “I’ll go back first. You wait a few minutes and then follow.”

“Oh yeah, that’ll fool ‘em,” Shane murmured with fond sarcasm as she untangled herself from him and opened the door. “Do me a favor, hit the bathroom first and try to get cleaned up as best as possible. I’ll do the same.”

She paused at the door. “Why?” she asked, puzzled.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a probing vampire question (he was still waiting for those), but it was a question. “Because I’m not the only vampire in the room and we have _really_ good noses,” he whispered into her ear, and then gave her a swat on her rear to send her on her way.

 

XXX

 

Mick watched Sara slip back into the room, taking her former place on the couch in the corner. He heaved a huge sigh and shook his head.

Beth’s eyes widened at the meaning in his expression. Again? “You’re kidding?!”

Mick shook his head again.

 

**End of Chapter Four: Fallen**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. American Band, Don Brewer; Grand Funk Railroad (also covered by, you guessed it, Poison)  
> 2\. Flesh and Blood Sacrifice, Poison  
> 3\. Shane’s song to Sara is a balled by Bret Michaels.  
> (Shane didn’t want to do this song in the show, but as soon as I heard it – the day after I posted their first love scene, he knew he had no choice.)
> 
> *Bear the bouncer is dedicated to our Bear, a great guy who was the tour bus driver for Kiss in the mid-80’s. He drove the gorgeous “Hotel California” tour bus.


	5. Stumblin' In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick and Josef have a heart-to-heart, and the Shane/Sara relationship intensifies. We learn more about Josef's motivations... or do we?

 

  
_I want you to know, been thinking about you since the day that we met_   
_You really put on a show, there was something about the look in your eye_   
_You said that I’m the one, the one to make the best of these nights_   
_You was a hit and run, showed no mercy just took my hand_   
_It’s so strange how time flies by…_   
_Wish I could turn the hands of time_   
_Like only in my wildest dreams_   


  
\--Brother Firetribe, “Wildest Dreams”

 

 

“Well,” Josef announced abruptly, rising. “As much fun as it always is to be part of the Pied Piper’s entourage, I think I’ll be taking off.”

Mick looked at him in surprise. “So soon? We’re gonna head over to the Rainbow after this.”

“Pass. Tell the Boss I’m out of here.”

“What do you think that’s all about?” Beth asked Mick after he’d left.

“I don’t know, but I wonder…” He set her on her feet so he could also get up. “Listen, I’ll meet you guys over there. There’s uh, something I need to do first.”

“Something, huh?” she said knowingly.

 

XXX

 

Mick found Josef sitting in his Louis XIII wing chair in his study, nursing a glass of Scotch and O negative. Something he only did on rare occasions when he was brooding over something.

“You wanna talk to me?” Mick asked.

“No.” He seemed resigned to his fate of putting up with Mick’s presence, but even less talkative than his usual self.

“Good,” Mick answered, helping himself to a glass of liquor from the decanter on the desk. “Is this about Shane and Sara?”

“Is what about Shane and Sara?” Josef asked in a bored tone.

“Or maybe just Shane. No, I think its Shane and Sara. You know what else I think?”

“Would it make a difference if I said I wasn’t interested?”

“Glad you asked.” Mick sat down on the couch. “You’ve been flirting with her since they got here. And it hasn’t escaped my notice that she resembles—“

“Drop it!” Josef warned.

Mick ignored him. “The red hair, the name. She even looks a little like her.”

“You seem to have it all figured out. Or so you think.”

“If I’m wrong then explain it to me.”

“I’m glad they got together. That’s how I planned it.”

“You planned it.” Mick didn’t know whether to be skeptical or believe. Knowing Josef, it was possible, but he also knew the whole situation with Sarah Whitley was a wound that cut deep, even if he kept it hidden from sight. He would never forget Josef’s face as he was telling them about his lost love.

“I know Shane. Push him enough and he reacts. It just takes the right trigger.” Josef smirked. “It just so happens I’m an expert at finding it.”

“Are you denying you’re attracted to Sara?” Mick prodded.

Josef drained the last of his drink and poured another. “No.” He finally looked at Mick. “What do you want me to say? That I’m wondering what kind of sick joke the universe is playing on me? Why out of all the vampires in the world, _Shane_ had to show up with his woman who looks like her and has her name? And before you ask, Shane has no idea Sarah Whitley exists. I never told him about her.”

“Why is it so significant to you that it’s Shane?” Mick asked. “Would you please tell me what this weirdness between the two of you is all about?”

Josef leaned forward in his chair, pinning Mick with a piercing gaze. “Would you take the secret to your death? Tell no one – not even Beth? And be sure you really want to know, because believe me you’re better off not knowing.”

Mick met his gaze steadily. “I think you want to tell someone. “ He glanced away briefly, then back. “I know I got kinda crazy for awhile with the full disclosure stuff…but I’ve since realized we all have our secrets to keep. I respect that, and I’m not going to push you to tell me. But if you do want someone else to know the truth… Who better than your best friend? And yeah. It won’t leave this room. Not even Beth,” he finished significantly.

“If no one knows, then it’s like it’s not true. That’s a good thing when you want to protect yourself. Just lately though, I’m finding all the secrets make me feel a little invisible. Suddenly everyone around me is forming these ties. You’ve got this whole family now, complete with the in-laws. Shane’s in love with someone that reminds me that I—“ He didn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t want that kind of commitment, but… hell! I don’t know.”

It was a bit convoluted, but Mick had no trouble understanding what Josef meant. Mick had only suffered a few decades of self-imposed loneliness, and he still bore the scars. Before he and Beth got together he’d harbored an unacknowledged terror that he would spend the centuries like that; alone, no one to share, to witness his life. Josef surrounded himself with freshies and pretended it was enough. Then Shane and Sara came along and reminded him of what he had lost; what he could have had.

“I think maybe human families are overrated,” Mick began. “Those of us who don’t have them feel left out, but I’ve seen the dark side of it in my work: wives in the hospital with broken bones after they accidentally burned dinner, and kids with cigarette burns on their skin, and in-laws shooting each other over the Thanksgiving dinner table. Siblings with mental problems, and brothers stealing from the family to support their drug habits, and let’s not even get into the divorce rate…   Beth and me, yeah, I think it’s forever, although there are no guarantees in life. Shane and Sara? I’d like to be optimistic, but she’s just nineteen, he’s “37” going on what, 700, whatever? The odds are against them. Only time will tell.”

“Wow, and here I thought I was supposed to be the cynical one. Don’t tell me your love affair with the human species is waning?”

“My point is that the best kind of family is the one we choose. The ones who like us and accept us for who we are. Friends are witnesses to our lives. Everyone needs a witness.”

Josef nodded, conceding the point. “I always preferred the saying, “friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies, myself,” he said with a grin.

“That, too.”

“Shane is not my friend,” Josef told Mick, watching him intently. “He’s my brother.”

Mick’s mouth dropped open in shock. After a moment the shock wore off, it sunk in, and he shook his head. “Sibling rivalry! Of course, it’s so obvious, how could I have missed that?!”  Shane and Josef had the same sire.  That explained a _lot_.

“Probably because you have mortals on the brain, and things are different nowadays. If Coraline sired anyone else you wouldn’t know or care.”

“Wouldn’t want to know,” Mick agreed. In Europe, where Josef came from, family ties were a lot more important – whether mortal or vampire. Brothers not by genetics but by vampire sire – but brothers nonetheless.

“About the other stuff? Yeah, it’s stupid and beneath me to actually find myself jealous of all these couples in my midst. I know better.”

“You can have a relationship if you wanted one. There are plenty of woman who’d love to be the center of your attention – human and vamp. I don’t think it’s that you want what everyone has, it’s that you’re missing what you _had_.”

Josef scowled at him. “When did you get so wise?” he asked suspiciously.

“A really wise man once told me a story about a monk who carried a woman across a stream, and another monk who was still carrying her. Are you familiar with that one?”

Josef pitched his empty glass across the room; it smashed against the wall. “That one sucks.”

“I know,” Mick said gently. “And I know my situation wasn’t the same as yours. But one thing I am an expert on is guilt. Regrets. You try to bury it, but it always comes back to haunt you. Until you deal with it once and for all. Maybe Sara Adams showing up is the universe’s way of letting you know it’s time to do that.”

“I don’t know how,” Josef admitted.

Mick wished he had the answers, but he had nothing more to offer. He couldn’t even imagine being in the same position. If he had to carry the memory of Beth like that… he didn’t think he would survive it, nor would he want to. Josef had done that for decades now. He needed to find a way to move on.

Mick stood up, resting his hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezing in support. “I’m fresh out of wisdom.”

“Good, I was starting to worry,” Josef quipped.

“Sure you don’t want to come to the Rainbow with us? Lots of hot chicks there,” he cajoled.

“Quit hovering,” he told Mick, not unkindly. “You kids go and have a good time. I have some thinking to do.”

Mick squeezed his shoulder one final time, then left.

 

XXX

 

The band’s night off found everyone scattered, possibly needing a break from one another. Josef was taking a much-needed respite from Shane (or, in his words, “thank god I get a night off!). Freddy was out partying, Greg was spending the night exploring Hollywood, and Silas was off with one of Josef’s freshies. Somehow, Shane wasn’t quite sure how it happened, he and Sara ended up on a double-date with Mick and Beth.

Beth suggested it would be fun to do a 50’s themed night, so they jumped into Mick’s Mercedes and hit the Vineland drive-in. The movie was okay but forgettable – although no one really minded because only families with children go to a drive-in to actually watch the movie.

Afterwards they stopped in at a 50’s themed diner, to feed the humans.

“My old man used to say, don’t feel the humans or they’ll follow you home,” Shane offered the tantalizing tidbit to Mick as they were entering the diner. “That never stopped _him_ , though…”

“What?” Mick asked, hoping for more, but was disappointed when Shane said nothing further on the subject. Mick wondered what he’d told Sara about his life: now that they were together, the topic of vampires didn’t have to be censored around her anymore.

“I still think it would’ve been fun to dress the part, too,” Beth said as they slid into the booth with its traditional red vinyl padding.

“Please, no.” “No thank you.” Eww, no!” Three sets of protests overlapped.

“Over-ruled again,” Mick grinned at his wife. He turned to Shane as the girls looked over menus. “I want to thank you both for behaving tonight. I admit, I was a little worried.”

“Are you insinuating what I think you’re insinuating?” Shane asked, grinning. He drummed his hands on the top of the table to the beat of the music playing.

“I don’t think Mick wants anyone having sex in his Mercedes,” Beth told them from behind her menu.

“Not when I’m there -- unless I’m participating,” Mick clarified.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were into that sort of group thing?” Shane retorted.

Mick threw up his hands in self defense as the others laughed. “Okay, I’m done. I know when I’m outclassed.”

“Hey, Beth, he said he’s okay with doing it in the car, you can keep that in mind for when the sex gets boring,” Sara told her.

Beth eyed Sara over the top of the menu. “At least _we’ll_ still have somewhere new left where we haven’t already done it.”

“People are way too interested in my sex life,” Shane said.

Sara laughed so hard she had to put down her menu.

“Shit. How did this night decompose?” Mick wanted to know.

“I think you started it, dear,” Beth told her husband.

The waitress came and left with their orders. As they waited for the food to arrive, Shane began singing along to the music. To Beth and Sara’s increasing embarrassment, Mick joined in.

“Earth angel, earth angel, will you be mine? My darling dear, love you all the time, I’m just a fool, a fool in love with you…”

A glance around showed the other patrons of the diner didn’t mind; most were smiling, enjoying the uninhibited visitors. Their impromptu concert was sidelined when the food arrived. Both humans had opted for the traditional burgers, fries, and malts.

“This is kinda fun,” Shane commented as if surprised.

“I was alive in this decade, sort of,” Mick explained, watching Beth devour her burger. “I was turned in ’52.”

“So you actually got to eat this kind food? Neat.”

“So what kinds of foods do you remember eating?” Mick tried for a clue at the other vampire’s age.

Shane waggled a finger at him. “Nice try. Food’s highly overrated anyway. The music though, this is the music that started it all. I remember hearing Great Balls of Fire for the first time. That was it. You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will and what a thrill, goodness gracious great balls of fire," he sang into Sara’s ear, grinning.

“Actually, rock and roll evolved out of blues and jazz,” Mick said with the superior air of someone who cut his teeth on the jazz scene.

“It wasn’t bad,” Shane conceded. “Jerry Lee did a decent cover of ‘Good Rockin’ Tonight.’”

“Wynonie Harris,” Mick remembered fondly.

“Of course when that song was written, rock and roll didn’t mean music.”

“It didn’t?” Beth asked.

Mick couldn’t help grinning. “That type of music was quite scandalous. They used euphemisms and sang about things that—“

“Tight assed uptight white people couldn’t handle,” Shane finished for him. “No wonder they freaked out so bad when their young people started listening to rock and roll.”

“So rockin’ meant fucking,” Sara surmised. “Wow, I never knew that.”

“Well, most of the time rockin’ was dancing, rolling was, well, a roll in the hay,” Mick explained.

“Maybe I saw your first band play somewhere?” Shane said to Mick.

“I doubt it. We weren’t that big. We played a lot of Hollywood parties and weddings,” Mick explained, the reminiscing inevitably bringing Coraline’s fateful party to his mind. The day he first set eyes on his late ex-wife, and changed the course of his life forever.

“Hmm, I was in New York in the late forties with Jay-Jay. Where was I in the early fifties?” Shane asked himself. “Out here already, I think. I got tired of the NY scene and made my way west.”

“Please tell me you didn’t know Coraline Duvall?” Mick asked. Beth’s head popped up at the name.

Shane shook his head. “Don’t ring a bell.” _Yeah, I know the Duvall’s, the French bastards. Don’t wanna know ‘em._

“What I find weird was that you were both into the L.A. rock scene in the late 70’s, but never ran into each other,” Beth told them.

“Not so weird when you know how many bands were around in those days,” Mick answered. “And contrary to popular belief, we don’t _all_ know each other,” he added, speaking of both vampires and rockers.

“I was on the road a lot, too,” Shane put in.

“And Nighttroller played the worst dives in L.A.,” Mick admitted ruefully. “You’d have to stumble over us accidentally while bar hopping.”

“Too bad,” Shane pronounced. “We could’ve hooked up and been band mates. Now that would have been weird.”

“Then when Josef told you about us you wouldn’t have made the connection with my real name,” Mick continued.

“And I had a different name in those days, so neither would you,” Shane added. “So when I walked into The Last Resort and saw you I’d be like, ‘holy shit – it’s Micky Johns!’ That would have been so freaky.”

“I guess I can take some comfort from the fact that my life may be one giant coincidence, but it’s not _that_ freaky,” Mick decided.

A little while later, the women made a trip to the ladies room. Shane watched them go curiously. “I wonder when and why that tradition got started? Women going to the bathroom in pairs? What did they used to say, ‘to powder their noses’?”

Mick shrugged. “Probably so they could talk about their dates in private.”

“Yeah, it was probably a code word,” he grinned.

“Leaving the men to discuss whether they were going to get lucky or not.”

“Well, we don’t need to be having that conversation, do we?” Shane said happily.

Mick looked down at the table, contemplating his words, then back at Shane. “I know you’ve been getting a lot of hassle about Sara…”

“With much more to come, I’m sure,” he added with a voice that lacked much concern.

“I just wanted to let you know that I do, uh, admire you for having the courage to ignore the opinions of others. I couldn’t even ignore _myself_.” Shane’s listening expression encouraged him to continue. “I’ve known Beth since she was four years old. So when we got together, it was… well, it felt a little weird to me when my feelings for her changed. Took me awhile to get over my inhibitions in bed. I never admitted it to her; she thinks it was because I’m a _product of my era_ ,” he quoted.

“Doesn’t mean she’s not right.”

“Regardless, she was twenty-six when our adult relationship started and it was hard enough. I can’t imagine being with her when she was nineteen, being her first.” He shuddered.

“Her _what_?” Shane stared at him with an absolutely unreadable but intense expression. “I’m—she’s not—I don’t—,” he uncharacteristically stuttered. “Excuse me,” he said quietly, got up from the table and left the diner.

“Oh crap…” Mick mumbled to himself.

The women returned shortly after, Sara looking at him inquisitively when she saw someone was missing. “Where’s Shane?”

“Uh… he went outside.”

“Why?”

“Uh… I’m not sure.”

“What did you do?” Beth demanded.

“I didn’t do anything!” Mick defended himself. “Honest, I was just complimenting him. Talking about me.” Beth gave him a skeptical look. “It wasn’t my fault! But he did seem kinda…upset.”

Sara sighed. “I’d better go see what’s up.”

 

XXX

 

It wasn’t often that Shane Alexander got blindsided, although it seemed to be happening more lately. Falling right back into the rock and roll lifestyle as if he’d never left, it just hadn’t entered his mind. Not once. Emotions battled for dominance inside him chaotically, conflicting feelings tearing him up. She wasn’t. _I’d know_ , his instinct told him. _What if she was?_ A traitorous little voice countered. _Don’t matter if she was a virgin or not_ , the Voice of Reason told him, _everyone is gonna think it, and you won’t trash her reputation by denying it._

_I’d know_ , he insisted to himself again, but the traitor wouldn’t shut up. What if she wanted him to think that? It conjured up images of their first time, and the second. If it was true, if he’d known, he wouldn’t have… it would have been different. Gentle and reverent and honoring… Anger reared up, at him, and her, at everyone.

Fingers curling into a fist, he punched the wall in front of him. The pain that exploded in his hand as the bones shattered provided a temporary distraction. He flexed his fingers, wincing at the pain, waiting for the bones to heal.

Calmer, he faced the issue again. The pain was still there, but it wasn’t in his hand. He didn’t want to be her first, didn’t want that responsibility… but the thought of someone else filling that role, maybe not treating her the way she deserved to be treated… What if it had been an unpleasant experience for her? Not that her experience with him was so wonderful, not for a first time… He slid down to the ground, just sitting there against the wall, arms wrapped around his legs.

It should have been him…. It shouldn’t be him…. The voices chased themselves round and round in his head. It hurt to think that he wasn’t, it hurt to think that he was, until he knew it was gonna hurt no matter what the truth was.

“Shane?” He didn’t even look up at the sound of her voice. She fingered the fist-sized hole in the concrete wall. “Wow. What’s going on?” When he didn’t answer, she sat down beside him, idly picking up his hand and examining it. “No permanent damage, but it had to have hurt?”

He barked a laugh but otherwise remained silent.

She kept the hand in hers, petting it. “You know you’re freaking me out here, right? You better tell me what’s going on.”

“I need to ask you a question,” he whispered. “I never thought about… I just didn’t, maybe I assumed…”

“Just tell me.”

He finally turned his head to look at her. “Were you a virgin?”

She stared at him as if unable to process his question. “Was I a what?”

“I need to know,” he demanded.

“No. Why does it matter?”

“No?”

“No, I wasn’t. What the hell gave you that idea?!”

A sigh, a second of sweet relief was followed immediately by more pain; questions he wanted to ask but didn’t know how.

“What the hell is up with you?” she asked, scrutinizing him through narrowed eyes. “Have you been listening to the idiots again?!” she parroted his previous words back to him with both disgust and amusement in her tone. “You know better than that. Never let anyone make you doubt yourself.” She winked at him.

He couldn’t help grinning ruefully at her throwing his words back at him. “Yep, I did,” he admitted.

“Oh, jeez.”

His grin faded quickly however. Once the thoughts were out they consumed him and he couldn’t push them back. Was “he” some jerk who didn’t care about her, just wanted to score a trophy by nailing a virgin? Or was it some kid who didn’t know what the hell he was doing and made her first experience painful?

What happened to the vampire who lived in the moment, and didn’t waste time worrying about tomorrow or rehashing yesterday?

_This isn’t me. I think I’m going insane._

Shane turned sideways and took her shoulders, looking at her intently. “Tell me it was okay.”

“Why does it matter?” she asked, uncomfortable and upset at the questioning.

“Because you deserve it. You deserve—“

“It was okay, all right? It wasn’t terrible or anything. Can we go now?” She wanted to be away from these people and their words that always seemed to cause problems. When they were alone everything was perfect. The rest of the world seemed determined to disturb that. She just wanted to pretend it didn’t exist for awhile.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They started walking in the general direction of the hotel, Shane pulling out his cell phone to call a cab.

 

XXX

 

Everyone loved Shane, almost whether they wanted to or not. Most of the time he couldn’t be sure whether it was because of his special ‘gift’ or just him. Vampires did hold a certain attraction and fascination for a lot of women – but they had nothing at all on lead singers of rock bands. Vamp appeal couldn’t hold a candle to rock star appeal. Larger than life heroes of the present day… although Shane had been a larger than life hero when he was human, too, in a way. It made the lines blur, especially after so many centuries. Then there was Shane’s unique abilities thrown into the mix…

He tried to avoid influencing people, or being influenced by them, although he didn’t have a lot of say over it unless he remained detached and controlled. It was only on stage where he could pour all his emotions, his soul out into the songs and stage performance, his body moving to the beat of the music and his voice as he belted out the songs having free reign. It was, in retrospect, a perfect fit, and explained his deep connection to rock and roll.

Sara was different somehow. She was loud, opinionated, and strong willed. A fighter and a Wild Child that not even Shane Alexander could tame – if he’d wanted to. He didn’t. It was a relief to let some of his guard down with her, knowing she wouldn’t be influenced unless she allowed herself to be.

Sara had seen brief glimpses of Shane when she’d first moved to Resurrection, tantalizing views of the tall, handsome sheriff, with his long blond hair, blue eyes, and easy smile. He’d made a huge impression on her that day in the schoolyard when he’d broken up a fight with his very unique style. Even then, he didn’t treat her the way everyone else did. Still, it didn’t really register entirely until the first time she saw him singing on stage. That’s when she decided he was The One.

She’d always picked her boyfriends like that, with an almost clinical detachment as if letting something else decide for her; she could remember her first day of school in eighth grade: looking around the room to decide who she was going to ‘like’ this year. After that, fate just seemed to make it happen. He turned out to be the nicest guy in the class, and well worth her interest.

Shane… Shane made her feel things she didn’t necessarily want to feel, but it was too late to stop any of it. Truthfully, she didn’t want to. She saw different things in him though, than others did. She had an almost uncanny ability to understand him, to be on the same ‘page.’ So different, the nineteen year old human and centuries’ old vampire, yet two of a kind in some fundamental way they had yet to even begin to understand. Opposites might be the law of attraction for most of the population, but when you were so different from everyone else, when you found a kindred spirit you held on and didn’t let go.

 

XXX

 

They were both silent as Shane let them into the hotel room. Since hers wasn’t secure any longer, they were sharing his. Well, maybe not only because of the broken door. He tossed the key card on the dresser, and threw one of her scarves over the lamp to mute the lighting.

Letting out a sigh of relief to be alone again, she slid her arms around him and leaned into his strong, solid body. His hands were already starting to work on removing her clothing.

“Tell me,” he demanded in a soft voice.

She didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. “It was okay, you know, like first times usually are. Not great or anything. It’s not a big deal,” she answered, really uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

_It is to me._ “Did he care about you?”

“About as much as I cared about him, I suppose. Maybe more, for all I know. Probably more,” she admitted.

“It was just sex then? You were just horny?” he questioned.

What Shane wants to know, Shane’s gonna know. She was okay with that….mostly. “I just didn’t want to be a virgin anymore, okay?” she said, hoping he’d leave it at that but knowing he wouldn’t.

“Yeah, you were well on your way to virginal spinsterhood, for sure, babe,” he said with one of his trademark, only-for-Sara grins. She almost started to believe he would drop it after all, until his next question. “Why?”

And here was the part where she had to admit she had planned it on purpose, that she wasn’t about to not have any experience under her belt before being with Shane Alexander. Shane, who could have his pick of any number of sophisticated women, and had. “Because… I…” she started to turn away.

Sensing her unease, he gently stopped her, running a comforting hand up and down her arm. “What could it possibly be that you don’t want to tell _me_?” he wondered aloud.

“There was no way I was going to be with you without knowing what I was doing,” she finally admitted.

A hissed intake of breath from Shane and then everything in the room stopped: no movement, no sound; time itself might have paused.

He fell to his knees in front of her; the hand that settled onto her hip shaking. The emotions on his face were naked, raw, and so strong she almost backed up a step at the sheer force of it. Pain, awe, horror, and a dozen others she had no desire to give name to.

_This is why he couldn’t be my first, get it? This thing between us scares the fuck out of me **now**._

“I’m freaked out.”

“I’m freaked out too,” he admitted in a whisper. Before she could worry about the prospect of them both being freaked, especially the older one who was supposedly always in control and self assured, he took a deep breath and seemed to regain his composure.

“If I was your first, I would have made it special for you,” he vowed. “Let me show you,” he murmured, a strange desire possessing him, to erase and replace the memories.

“We would have been in my bedroom, my sanctuary, not some back seat or cheap motel room,” he began, his hands again taking up the task of removing her clothing. “I’d start by undressing you slowly,” he told her, kissing skin as it was revealed to him.

When every piece of her clothing was gone, he prompted her to start on his. “Let you get used to my body, so you wouldn’t be apprehensive about anything we’re doing.” She found her hands strangely clumsy, as if she was doing this for the first time. He guided her hands on his body, showing her how and where to caress.

“I’d lay you down on my cool sheets,” he persisted, continuing to match action to words. “Kiss you all over. Spend a long time just worshipping your body, getting you comfortable with me. Relaxed.” He did just that, caressing her body and teasing responses from it. His mouth moved to her nipples, licking and biting each in turn, but not roughly. A tender touch that somehow felt stronger for its subtlety. “Tell you how beautiful you are. You’re beautiful everywhere.” His lips and tongue followed an invisible trail down her body until he reached her center. Gently pushing her thighs further apart, his tongue found her most private place and tormented her with pleasure.

“How special.” His hand moved in warming circles on her thigh. Comforting. Lulling, despite the desire building elsewhere. “What an honor it is for me to be your first. That you would choose me to give yourself to.”

Her head thrashing back and forth on the pillow, Sara whimpered at the sensual spell he was weaving. Tears leaked out of her tightly closed eyes. The words were too beautifully intense, she didn’t want to hear them, didn’t want to be so affected by them… Bittersweet.

“Make sure you’re ready for me.” Fingers sliding in her smoothly, playing her, encouraging her to open for him. Ready? She was so beyond that she was surprised the whole bed wasn’t soaked.

“Then when I was sure you were ready, and there was no fear or doubt, only passion, I’d take you slowly…” He entered an inch at a time, pausing, caressing her body with his hands. “Letting you get used to me. Say how beautiful you look like this, with the pleasure taking you over. How I adore you.”

He moved in and out of her body slowly, turning it into another form of caress. “Make sure your first time was a beautiful experience that you would remember forever. Because that’s what you deserve. Nothing less,” he finished fiercely.

She felt herself careening toward the edge, shaking as if in the middle of a hurricane.

Shane knew it too; he was attuned to her body’s every response. He picked up the pace, letting more of his own control slip. “Let it go for me, baby,” he purred into her ear. “Let it go for me…”

She could no more disobey than she could stop the world from spinning away from her, as she was turned inside out. She’d read somewhere of orgasm being described as ‘little death’, but she’d never quite understood that analogy until this very moment. Her internal muscles still squeezed him involuntarily; he was still inside her, still hard. Was there life after little death?

“This is why you couldn’t be my first,” she managed to get out, quivering and shell shocked. “Sex with us is intense enough _now_ – I wouldn’t have survived it.” He had to know it would have unraveled her.

“Sara…” he groaned, as overcome with the pleasure as she was, striving toward an even higher peak that she couldn’t quite believe actually existed.

“Yes. Yes… yes,” she cried, not knowing quite what she was saying yes to – until she felt the sharp needle-like prick in her skin. This time the pleasure was too much, and for a brief time, darkness fell.

 

XXX

 

As a young child growing up in New York State, Sara could remember some violent electrical storms during the summer months. The wind would thrash the leaves on the trees wildly about, rain would slash down with cutting sharpness, and noise and light would explode in the sky. But afterwards… afterwards there was a wonderful stillness, as if a peace had settled over everything. The air was fresh and pure, and everything felt both calm and exiting at the same time, as if the electrical charge was still in the air, just enough to make the world tingle with remembrance. That’s what the aftermath with Shane felt like.

His head was on her shoulder, her hand in his hair, holding him there. Looking down, she saw the small twin puncture marks on her breast. Remembered noticing years ago how he had small teeth for such a big man, but perfect, beautiful, with always just a hint of fang, the cuspids slightly pointy.

_Wow. Looks like I got myself a vampire._ She couldn’t help grinning. Maybe they were both ready for more than just a fun time, after all. _Nothing but a good time._ Hell, this was so far beyond just that, she was still trying to adjust to it. It had been a long four years of waiting, but once things started happening, there was no stopping them.

Shane kissed the marks, and she felt a shiver travel the length of her body.

She hadn’t been a virgin for quite a little while… but now she was a woman.

“This is why people are so interested in your sex life,” Sara told him amusedly. “If you weren’t so good at it, they wouldn’t be.”

He laughed loudly. “Practice anything for a thousand or so years and you’ll get good at it. Be pretty pathetic if I wasn’t, wouldn’t it?”

She had to agree.

“Hey,” he said, momentarily turning the mood serious again. “I realized something: you were right.”

“Again?” she teased.

“In a way, the fumbling between teens in a back seat somewhere, the groping and exploration – it’s like a rite of passage in this day and age. I would have no right to take that away from you.”

_Which is why you wait till she’s of age before you fuck her._ But then that had been the plan all the long, even if he’d never allowed himself to acknowledge it. And it had gone exactly the way it was supposed to… until they’d gotten turned around by bad directions from well-meaning but skewed travel agents, on this weird trip along the scenic route. Not that he could complain.

Couldn’t complain at all.

“You have a wise soul,” he told her sincerely.

Sara couldn’t help but be moved by the compliment, coming from the source it did, someone who had to have plenty of wisdom, to survive this long. Then she spoiled the moment by yawning. “After I take a nap… you can tell me about vampires.”

He smiled and kissed her. “You got it.”

“Yes, I do,” she agreed.

“Hey uh,” he said, grinning, just as she was about to drop off to sleep. “You think Mick and Beth figured out yet that we’re not coming back??”

Her laughter shook the bed. “We’re so bad.”

 

_Foolishly laying our hearts on the table, stumbling in…_

 

**End of Chapter Five: Stumblin’ In**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Wildest Dreams” from Heart Full of Fire, by Brother Firetribe, a band from Finland that’s especially close to Shane’s heart, for reasons that will be revealed...  
> "Stumblin' In" by Suzi Quatro & Chris Norman


	6. Ride the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick and Beth get some romantic time alone.

_Ride the wind, never coming back until I touch the midnight sun…_

 

Mick’s apartment had never seen this much company, not even with Beth living there too now. He couldn’t help but wonder why they always seemed to meet up there rather than at Josef’s – considering it was _his_ family visiting… but Shane seemed to prefer it. Mick wasn’t sure he’d been back there since the party. What was up with that? Another thing he pondered as he passed around refreshments was why he and Beth kept forgiving Shane for his little…ways. Like disappearing on them at the diner and not bothering to say they were leaving. On the other hand, considering the can of worms he’d apparently opened up, he figured he’d just forget all about it and call them even. Shane’s life was way too complicated, and Mick had enough of those himself.

After all these months, he still found himself with more questions than answers in his life. The questions seemed to keep piling up, but the answers were doled out stingily by a scrooge universe. Eventually, maybe he’d get used to it, or quit caring. Unfortunately, being a private investigator for so many decades had trained him to want to solve the mysteries, put the puzzles together.

Question was, would he like the answers when he found them?

“So what are we going to do today?” Sara asked, in that annoying way of out-of-town visitors who expected to be entertained every day of the week.

“I’m going to work, do you want to come and help?” Josef replied dryly.

“You work too much,” Shane voiced his opinion, even though as Josef silently noted – no one had asked him for it. “We could all go and get tattoos,” he suggested.

“We, _what_??” Mick said with raised eyebrows. “Who’s we?”

Shane shook his head in amusement, pushing up his sleeve to reveal the tattoo on his upper arm that said ‘rock and roll forever.’ “So you think I got this, what in the 12th century or something?”

“Really? We can get tattoos? I thought--”

“Why not? When a foreign item enters our bodies it stays there until we take it out, isn’t that right, _Buckshot Butt_? Ink is a foreign substance. Works even better because we heal so fast the tat is healed as its being done. Getting them removed it a bitch though,” Shane shuddered from remembrance. “Since you have to slice off the whole layer of inked skin. Hurts like a mother till it regenerates.”

“I never understood why this fascination with pain some people have,” Josef said disdainfully. “That’s receiving, not giving of course.”

“Of course,” Shane echoed, giving Josef one of those looks that no one could interpret but the parties involved.

“Sounds cool,” Sara told him.

“Yeah…. I think I might be up for that,” Beth seconded.

“I’ll pass thanks!” Mick said, not quite believing his wife was serious.

“I know an artist here in L.A. who does vamp tattoos, he’s a friend of mine. We can go there.”

Sara got up from the chair she was sitting in and sat down next to Beth on the couch, as the two began plotting. “Do you know what you’d want to get?”

“I have no idea--- no wait, yes I do! I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo of angel wings, with fangs. Maybe a small drop or two of blood… Of course I don’t know where to get it. The place I think is most appropriate, well, I can’t get it there.” It would have been perfect to get the tattoo on her shoulder, to represent her guardian angel watching over her…but that spot was a bit too reminiscent of Mick’s first wife and hers for comfort.

“I have no idea what I want.”

“Maybe you’ll see something when we get there.”

“What and get something everybody has?” Sara said, making her feelings about the non-unique known. “Why even bother.”

“You’re not serious?!” Mick had to interject, still unable to believe the women were going to get tattooed.

“You could always just get ‘Shane’ tattooed on your shoulder blade,” Shane joked, and Sara rolled her eyes at him, unamused, pointing a warning finger that he would have done well to heed.

“I like that idea,” Josef piped up. “I can just see it now -- that’s how her father finds out you’ve been bang—“ Mick kicked him unobtrusively. “Uh, doing his daughter -- she’s wearing a tank top one day and he sees part of the letters showing. “What the hell is that on your shoulder!” he imitated. “And there’s ‘property of Shane’. That would go over so well!”

“Do you try to be amusing on purpose, or are you just naturally not funny?” Shane asked Josef.

Mick gave the two of them an amused, tolerant smile that had Shane eyeing him suspiciously and Josef scowling.

“You’d probably want to pick a non-public area for that kind of tattoo,” Sara suggested to Beth, trying to ignore the men. “You’d be having to answer questions about why you’ve got an angel with fangs… might want to pick a more private spot. Unless you wanna make a good cover story up.”

“Good point,” Beth agreed.

“Yeah, save the property of Shane for the public area,” Shane continued to tease.

“Oh, that’s two,” Sara announced with finality. She made a show of shaking her head. “Jeez! Guy pops my cherry, he thinks he owns me!” she muttered as if to herself but loudly.

“Motherfucker!” Shane exclaimed with feeling as the others looked at Sara with varying expressions from shock to amusement. “Damn girl, I can’t believe you did me like that.”

“Whatever gave you the idea that baiting Sara was a good idea?” Josef queried with an amused smirk on his face. "You just thought you were like what, immune?”

“You know what they used to call that kind of thing on That 70’s Show?” Beth began, trying to keep her composure. “Burn!”

Mick’s smile got wider. “No, that’s a Burn sundae with a _cherry_ on top.”

Beth laughed herself silly; even Josef was chuckling.

“You’ll all so dead,” Shane pronounced.

“Since everyone is so interested in our sex life, let me state for the record that Shane is not my first. Now, can we move onto another topic of conversation for a change?”

Sara knew the whole virgin thing was a sensitive issue with Shane. Even though he’d asked for it with his comments, she was happy to set the record straight, since she didn’t have a problem with her image to others. They could think what they wanted about her.

Suddenly Mick realized the significance of Sara’s comments. He looked at Shane incredulously. “Did you tell her what we talked about?”

“You were talking to Shane about his sex life?!” Beth scolded in disbelief.

“No! I was talking about—" _Ours_ … “Er…yeah?”

When Shane got through laughing, he slapped his knees and rose. “Let’s go see the artiste.”

“Damnit, I still don’t know what I want!” Sara complained on the way out the door.

 

XXX

 

Excerpt from Sara Adams vacation journal:

 

_Okay, so we’re there at the tattoo parlor, and we’re checking out the designs. First thing – the pig—uh, I mean guys are standing in front of this one photo, so Beth and I go over to see what they’re staring at so intently. It’s some naked blond chick straddling a Harley, with a huge dragon tattoo on her back. The tail goes down part of her butt cheek and to her upper thigh. Okay, so she really was hot and it was an amazing tattoo. But geez! Next some of our group (who shall remain nameless) call me over saying they found my tattoo. I’m not falling for it, but I have to take a look. What is it? A cherry of course. Wise asses. Beth sees a file named ‘angel wings’ so she’s there._

_And apparently some people get tattoos that look like vampire bites, and that’s freaky. Some on the neck no less! But the guys said it’s probably just for “cover.” Wow, some chicks are really into the whole vamp thing. I guess it’s not too much different from being into the ‘rock star’ thing, so I suppose I kinda get it._

_I’m thinking maybe a sea gull with “freebird” under it or something, but the gull pix I found didn’t appeal._

_And then there’s this close up pic of a new tat, all raised red and I’m starting to re-think this whole tattoo idea right about then because that looks really painful and I am not a vamp yet. Maybe I’ll just go with SA which was one of my ideas. My initials – also his initials, so it’s very subtle – and only two letters, so maybe not so painful!_

_Eww – did we really see what I thought we just saw? I turn back to the previous page and sure enough, there’s a tattoo on the inside of some guy’s lip – the inside!_

_Beth’s looking like she’s having second thoughts too, but poor girl she’s gonna be in there alone because Mick already said he’s too much of a sissy to watch (well, no that wasn’t his exact words, but I’m translating). Shane’s gonna be with me all the way, holding my hand and letting me hurt him if necessary. :D Here were his exact words: “I’m gonna be right there with ya, babe. I’m gonna whisper sweet dirty things in your ear till you forget all about any pain.”_

_Hmm… maybe I’ll get some flowers or something to go with the initials…_

_“Wild Child,” Shane whispers into my ear, and I know I found my tat._

 

XXX

 

The apartment was quiet, dark except for the flame from the glass fireplace. Beth lay on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. Mick was sitting on the floor with his back against the cushions, guitar in hand. His fingers played random melodies, never settling on a song. His own glass of wine was on the table in front of him.

“It’s nice to have a night off from our guests,” he commented as he played. “I know I’m supposed to be an eternally young vampire but I think I’m too old for this stuff!” Beth laughed. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m young, from vamp perspective, maybe when I get Shane’s age it’ll be different.”

He couldn’t help but wonder what it was going to be like after living so many centuries. Did life get boring, prompting you to take on ever wilder experiences? Josef had hinted that appreciating variety and the unpredictable became even more important after several hundred years. It was something Mick still couldn’t even comprehend. Certainly if Lola was anything to go by, it was a scary prospect. Shane, well, he had morals at least, despite his Bad Boy persona.

“How old is he?” Beth asked.

“Josef either doesn’t know, or isn’t telling.” They lapsed into silence again, and she listened to him play for awhile. The quite evenings at home were by far his favorites. Life was so normal in those moments, it almost brought tears to his eyes.

“You could get back into the music if you wanted,” Beth offered eventually.

“I thought I missed it more than I do, I think,” Mick said, laughing a little at his ambiguous wording. “I really like being a PI, helping people. And this week has shown me that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It’s funny… lately I’ve had a lot of opportunities to get back things I had as a human, things that I thought I’d been robbed of. Yet I find I like what I have now better. I love the life I have.” Beth beamed at him. “My human life wasn’t anywhere near this good,” he admitted.

“Have I told you today that I love you?” she asked, reaching down and running her hand through his hair.

“Hmm… yes, I believe it was at 7:32 and fifty three seconds this morning.”

Beth giggled.

“Have I told you that I love hearing your laughter?” he asked her.

There was nothing either of them wanted to say at that point, they simply gazed into each other’s eyes. Mick laid the guitar aside and rose to his knees. One hand rested on her stomach, moving slowly up to her breasts. He relished the little tell tale signs of what the smallest touch of his did to her, the increased breathing and excitement. The other, more subtle impressions he had of other sensations: heat, irritation, slight pain from a tattoo needle, those he carefully ignored. It would be healed soon; with Beth's extra fast healing probably really soon. And he found he liked the idea of his mark on her after all.

Lingering on her breast, he rubbed one nub with his finger. Wanting more, he moved his hand to slide up under her nightshirt, caressing her body. She closed her eyes, enjoying her pleasure. He bent and kissed her.

Then, just to tease, he abruptly pinched. She jumped, her yelp of pained surprise quickly morphing into a moan. His hand continued, moving down to her underwear, playing with the edges.

“Mick!”

“What?” he asked with a grin.

“You’re such a tease.”

“I have to disagree with that assessment,” he said and they both laughed at the formal tone of his voice.

“Wanna play rock star and groupie?”

Mick shook his head. “I don’t want to play games; don’t need to play any games. All I need is you.”

“Show me,” she whispered.

Mick stood up and drew his shirt over his head, then opened and removed his pants, letting her watch him undress for her. Next came his underwear. When he was naked, he stood there before her and let her devour him with hungry eyes.

One eyebrow drew up, but he spoiled the effect with his boyish grin. “See something you like?”

Beth unconsciously licked her lips. “I’ll have to sample the merchandise first, before I can give you an answer.”

“You’ll need to be undressed for that,” Mick explained, bending to the task. When they were both naked, he carefully lowered himself on top of her, keeping his weight easily on his arms. “There’s a no-return policy on this merchandise.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” she told him, boldly grabbing his erection and guiding him to where she wanted him. “I got a steal on this one. Someone switched the price tags, and it’s so much more valuable than the—Ohh!”

And she didn’t say anything more for a long time… unless you count cries and moans.

 

XXX

 

Meanwhile, Shane and Sara were up in the Hollywood Hills enjoying the view. As the gang was coming out of the tattoo parlor that afternoon, several motorcycles had passed in the street, giving Shane the idea to ask her if she wanted to go riding. The answer was: duh! So he rented a bike and they went off to ride the wind.

After an enjoyable few hours, Shane had found a place to park where they could see the city below. He was sitting on the ground, back against an ancient oak, with Sara sitting between his legs and leaning against him. His arms were around her. The lights twinkled below like exciting jewels. They were quiet for awhile, just enjoying the scenery and each other’s presence.

“It’s incredible,” Sara said of the view. “I love being up here with you.”

“Did you enjoy the ride?” he asked quietly, face buried in her neck, which seemed to be his favorite spot.

“Both of them,” she agreed, getting a laugh out of him.

Sara had heard stories about how the vibration of riding a motorcycle could turn you on, but again, it was one of those things she’d never experienced for herself until now. That and having sex on one. She was quickly becoming aware of just how many things she’d missed, and looking forward to sharing them with Shane.

“You’re so lucky. It must’ve been pretty great living out here during those years,” she commented.

“Lot of good memories,” he agreed. “Only one thing wrong with it.”

“What could that possibly be?”

“Wish you could’ve been there with me.” Too late to reign in the feelings, not much reason to anymore, if there ever was. The white flag was up, the resistance surrendered. All that was left was to reap the consequences, whatever they be.

Sara was silent for a few minutes. “Guess I was born after my time, and you before yours.”

“And we meet in the middle?”

She started singing, “Clowns to the left of me—“

He joined in heartily, “jokers to the right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you.”

They laughed together, sharing the joke. “Hey, I think we just found our song,” she said.

“That’s not our song.” Then he was singing softly. “Wasted days and wasted nights, I feel lonely. I walk these streets and wonder why I ever listened to them say, you are not the one for me, but they’re all wrong…. Every day I’m not with you is a wasted day,” he told Sara, holding her tighter. “I can smell your tears,” he whispered into her ear after a moment.

A cool breeze blew in off the hills, and she shivered. He wrapped more of himself around her, kissing her neck.

“Did I ever mention I hate it when you do that?” she said, referring to making her cry, but didn’t have to elaborate to him; he knew what she was talking about.

“Sorry, girl,” he said not sounding it.

They listened to the night for a time, each lost in their own thoughts, both enjoying the freedom of feeling like there was no one else but the two of them in the universe.

"How's the tat?" he asked her.

"Doesn't hurt," she answered. "I can't wait to see it when it's healed. It's perfect," she told him.

"Yeah, that's what I figured."

“Do you want to go back to Resurrection?” Sara asked awhile later. It was a topic so far un-broached but on both their minds.

Shane gathered his thoughts before answering. “That was the plan.” He sighed. “I can’t just stay here though, I have to go back. If I was to consider leaving I’d have to get a replacement settled in first. There would be a lot of arrangements to make…”

“You have to relocate eventually anyway, right?” she said thoughtfully.

Shane nodded against her. “It won’t be all that much longer before the little fact of not aging will start being noticed and it’ll be time to move on.”

Sara pondered that for a few minutes. “I guess I could finish up those college courses I was taking online, maybe a few on campus. If it’s not gonna be that much longer anyway, we may as well wait awhile.”

His arms tightened even more. “As long as you’re not planning on going away to college again.” It was a long six months he’d rather not remember. And that was before they were lovers. It had been a weird time for him. Just…weird. Telling himself it didn’t bother him, that it was a part of vampire life, people came and went. If she was moving on, that was as it should be. Ignoring the empty feeling inside, pretending he was okay with it because Shane Alexander didn’t spend time missing what he didn’t have. It was the proverbial elephant in the room. He couldn’t even admit to himself how hard it had been not having her there. How much he had come to rely on her presence in his life.

“Do I look like a masochist to you?” Sara wanted to know.

“Nope, you’re definitely more the hedonist type,” he agreed, hands caressing her body.

Sara moved to kneel facing him. She slid the leather biker jacket off his shoulders. It had been unbelievably sexy to make love with someone wearing leather, but now she wanted to see more skin. When the jacket was off however, she saw something odd peeking out from under his T-shirt sleeve.

“What’s this?”

She slid the sleeve up for a look, as Shane grinned and waited patiently for her to discover his new tattoo – the one on his shoulder that said Sara.

“No way!” she exclaimed in delight. “When did you get that?!”

“Remember when you and Beth went to get something to eat, and I told you I had something to do?”

“You!” She hit him on the arm.

“Like it then, huh?”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Can I have another ride?”

“On the bike?” he asked, knowing better.

“What bike?”

“My wild child,” he said, laying her down.

“Yours,” she agreed.

 

**End of Chapter Six: Ride the Wind**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: Shane and Sara are a bit obnoxious, but they grow on you -- just ask Mick and Beth.
> 
> Credits:  
> *Stuck in the Middle, by Stealers Wheel  
> Song Shane sings is of course their song, Fallen by Bret Michaels.  
> Ride the Wind is by Poison


	7. Boys Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three vampires, a bottle of vamp moonshine, and a tale about bootleggers.

  
_Livin’ for the minute_  
 _Living his life from day to day_  
 _If you want it, then take it_  
 _That’s the rules if you want to play…_  
\--Livin’ for the Minute, Poison

 

What do you get when you take three vampires and add one jug of moonshine?

 

Vampires are of course, creatures of the night. So are rock musicians. Taking these facts into consideration, most nights the party didn’t end with the band’s last encore at the Rock & Roll Rodeo. Since it was a vacation, they tried to do something different every night… but even rock stars have to kick back and relax every once in awhile.

Tonight, Shane and Mick were hanging out at Josef’s. Greg and Silas had returned to Alaska as planned – but not before Shane (in his official capacity as sheriff) had confiscated the last of Randy’s moonshine. They were very relaxed.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I was really drunk?” Mick asked, staring into the jug for the twentieth time, checking to see how much was left. “I mean _really_ drunk.”

“Uh, I believe that would be last week, after Shane’s first show,” Josef supplied.

“Has it been a week already?” Shane asked.

Josef nodded. “I know, feels more like – a year. When do you go home, again?” Having the relatives visit was great – for the first few hours. Then you couldn’t wait for them to leave.

And when they did, you missed them. But that was a secret he wasn’t telling anybody.

Mick ignored their brotherly bickering. “I mean before that. A long time.”

“Cry me a river,” Shane told him unsympathetically. “You’re only what, fifty-six?”

“I’m eighty-six,” he corrected with an air of one insulted.

Josef drained the last of his glass and pried the jug out of Mick’s hand for a refill. “He means in vamp years.”

“Oh. Yeah, but you live up there in Alaska with Randy. You can get it any time you want.”

Shane started singing. “Can you get it, when you want it, when you want it can you put your finger on it?”

“That must be your theme song,” Josef surmised.

Singing answered him. “I’m a very fortunate man, when I want to get it I can, I never have to do without – there’s such an awful lot about!”

Mick interupted them indignantly.  “Hey! We’re talking about me here. Can we stay on track, people?! I have missed the pleasures of getting stinkin’ drunk, and it’s not fair. This is definitely going onto my “why being a vampire sucks” list.”

“Your what?” Josef asked.

“’Course, hangovers are on the “why it’s lame to be human list…’” Mick picked the jug up from the floor where Josef had left it and refilled his own glass, then wrapped his arm around it protectively. He was the self-proclaimed “keeper of the jug” and he took his job very seriously.

“Moderation in all things,” Shane intoned, earning a snort of disbelief from his brother. He slouched down on the couch and stretched his legs out, resting them on the coffee table.

Josef shoved the feet off his expensive piece of furniture. “Could be worse Mick, considering when you were born, you just missed spending those adult human years of yours during prohibition.”

“Now there was a wild time. I used to be a rum runner,” Shane told Mick.

Josef rolled his eyes. “Oh no, here we go again. This is why you shouldn’t drink or get stoned, Shane, remember? Ignore everything he says,” he told Mick. “He’s a liar when he’s drunk.”

“During prohibition?” Mick guessed, even in his inebriated state sensing that it was the perfect opportunity to find out something about the mysterious vampire’s past. He would talk your ear off for hours about his rock and roll years whether you wanted to hear about it or not, but anything else was usually off limits. Liquor loosens tongues.

Shane nodded. “I crewed for William McCoy.”

“Who’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the most famous rum runner in history? He brought booze from the Bahamas into South Florida. We ran up and down the coast all the way from Florida to Maine and back. I helped him outfit the Tomika. We refitted the fish pens, and mounted the machine gun…”

“Machine gun?!” Mick interrupted in disbelief. “You’re making up stories,” he accused.

“Hey, it’s the truth! Look it up on Wikipedia if you don’t believe me. Contraband liquor was big business in those days. Didn’t you ever see the Untouchables?”

“And you worked with McCoy?” Mick prodded, checking the jug again, dismayed to see it was definitely going down.

“For a few years, until he got caught. I liked Billy, he was a decent guy. He sold only the best. He coulda watered down his liquor like most of the others did, make a bigger profit, but he took pride in his product. That’s where the saying the 'real McCoy' comes from.”

“All right, now I know you’re shitting me!” Mick insisted.

“Look it up! Am I shitting him?” Shane asked Jay-Jay.

“Guess he’ll have to look it up,” Josef said, grinning.

“I was a seafarer back in the day, so it was right up my alley.” Shane put his feet back onto the coffee table.

Josef unceremoniously yanked the boots off of Shane’s feet and conked him in the head with one. “And the money to be made was phenomenal! We’re talking several hundred grand a year – and that was the 20’s!”

“And how do you know that?” Mick asked Josef, suspiciously. “Where you by any chance involved in illegal booze trafficking?” He said slowly, proud of himself for getting the complicated line out without slurring anything.

“Well… that was a nasty business. Mostly run by organized crime. But yeah… a few of those crime bosses were vamps.”

“Oh no, not the Godfather fantasies again!” Mick groaned.

“Kiss the ring.”

“You have fantasies about the Godfather?” Shane inquired. "I mean, yeah Brando was hot when he was young, but..."

“Can you get your warped mind out of the gutter?!” Josef wanted to know.

“Uh… I can try…”

“Lost cause,” Josef muttered.

“Are you trying to tell me you were the head of a crime family?!” Mick couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or amused by their tall tales.

“What, you never heard of the “Konstantin-Alexander family?”

Mick laughed, spraying a mouthful of moonshine across the room. “Yeah, right!”

“That was the only time we ever managed to stay in the same city together for any length of time,” Shane noted.

“Those were good times,” Josef remembered fondly.

“Why would that be?” Mick decided to press his luck and see if he could get anything out of them about the weird Josef-Shane dynamic.

“Jay-Jay was in the business for the money, I was in it for the excitement. It worked out perfectly.”

“Until that whole annoying 21st Amendment thing,” Josef added.

“No one really wanted prohibition, not even the lawmen that had to enforce it. You know, afterwards the coast guard took on a lot of the ex-smugglers as non-com officers?!”

Mick was fascinated despite himself. “That’s… that’s…” he couldn’t think of an adjective, so he fell silent.

“You remember Lola’s party boat out on Rum Row?” Josef asked Shane.

“Oh, hell man, how could I forget?! Hookers for the humans, freshies for the vamps, booze flowing…”

“Lola? _The_ Lola?” Mick demanded, forgetting all about his duty and putting the jug on the floor so he could sit forward in his chair in rapt attention.

“I told you she used to have a pirate army. In many ways this was very similar. She was right at home.”

Mick stared at them in consternation. The story had gotten progressively wilder, from just being involved in illegal liquor smuggling to being a crime family. There was probably truth in there… but he had no idea which was truth and which just BS. He was reminded of a children’s activity book: rock star, rum runner, (not to mention voodoo priest, but Mick didn’t know about that one), Sheriff. Which one of these things isn’t like the others?!

He found he could picture Lola running a smuggling operation though. And if that was true, did it mean the rest was as well?

“So there was a good time or two before rock and roll?” Josef said to Shane, kicking his foot to get his attention.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Shane conceded, but sharing a grin with him. “Or three.”

Mick was chagrined when they fell silent, and wracked his brain to come up with something to keep them talking. “So um, tell me more about the smuggling thing.”

Shane shrugged. “Not much else to tell. Booze became legal again, and a lot of us were out of a job. The mob turned its attention to other illegal activities, life went on.”

Mick knew he was lying. “You must have tons of stories about the smuggling days.”

“I thought you didn’t believe us?” Shane asked.

“Maybe Mick wants a bedtime story?” Josef suggested.

“Well…” Shane said, thinking. “There were the triplets in Las Vegas. We met them at a triplet convention we crashed…”

Mick wasn’t sure he wanted to hear about that one, but he wasn’t quite sure why. “Um, maybe I am too young for that one. After all, I’m only fifty-six…” He grabbed the jug and clutched it protectively.

“They’re so cute at that age,” Shane noted.

“Was I cute at that age too?” Josef wanted to know.

Shane tried to pinch his cheek but the hand kept getting batted away. Finally, he was able to make contact. “You’re still cute, Jay-Jay. In an obnoxious sorta way.”

“The rest of the moonshine is mine,” Mick pronounced, tipped the jug up and drinking straight from it.

“Kids today have no respect,” Josef said sadly.

“They have it too easy,” Shane agreed.

“Who wants a nightcap?” Josef pulled out his phone. “Tonya, Marilyn, and Candace are on call tonight, they’re all delicious.”

Mick stood up abruptly. “I am going home,” he enunciated clearly, making an effort not to sway on his feet. He headed for the door.

“One of these days, Mick St. John, I will corrupt you,” Josef’s voice floated behind him.

“Over my undead body,” Mick countered, ignoring the laughter he left in his wake.

What do you get when you mix three vampires with one jug of moonshine? One empty jug and three drunken vamps, of course. And maybe, some truth.

 

**End of Chapter Seven: Boys Night In**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: the details about prohibition are real, although as far as I know, no vampires were involved in any crime families... :D  
> Song Shane sings is "Can You Get It When You Want It," by Paper Lace  
> PS: Mick took a cab home, because even vampires don't drink and drive.


	8. Can You Hear The Wind Blow?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winds of change are blowing... And Josef still has his secrets.

  
_Over the mountains, across the sea_  
 _I know life is waiting, for you and me…_  
 _Can you hear the wind blow, for me and you?_  
 _Signifying changes we’re going through_  
\--Whitesnake 2008

  
_I take a walk down a road, it’s the road I was meant to stay_  
 _I see the fire in your eyes but a man’s gotta make his way_  
 _Are you tough enough for my love? Close your eyes to the heaven above_  
 _I’m comin’ home_  
\--Cinderella 1988

 

Even when you live forever, change is constant, that’s one of the things we share with our human friends. That being said, Cinderella was also right when they sang, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” My advice? Make peace with it.  
\--Shane’s wisdom

 

Darkness had just fallen over the city. Mick stood in his favorite spot on the roof, watching the night come to life. In the old days he’d come here to think, or mourn, or brood. Even though he rarely did the last two anymore, he still enjoyed spending the quiet time alone. Of course time spent there with Beth, especially making love under the moonlight, was great too. Just another thing he had to be thankful for.

“Wow, you’ve got a fantastic view.” The voice seemed to echo his thoughts.

Mick turned to see Shane approaching. He’d taken Sara and Beth to dinner at the Hard Rock Café; Mick had been working on a case and bowed out. “Have a good dinner?” he asked, a bit sardonically.

“Any dinner I don’t have to actually eat, is a good dinner.”

“You mean you sometimes _eat_?” Mick asked, dumbfounded.

Shane walked up beside him, resting his arms on the top of the wall. “Gotta blend in, baby.” Mick was still staring at him, so he continued. “You get used to it. Don’t get me wrong, the getting rid of it afterward is…less than fun, so I do try to get around the issue other ways if I can.”

“You’re kidding.”

“How do you think I’ve survived so long? Take my advice, the more you can do to appear human the better. After awhile it becomes second nature. I get ready for work and happen to glance at the box of Band-Aids in my medicine cabinet and realize it’s been awhile since I’ve had a “cut.” So I slap on an extra large and tell everyone I cut myself slicing a bagel for breakfast.”

“Are you sure you’re not just paranoid like Josef?”

“Three words: touch bearing mob.”

“Would that be _Josef's_ torch bearing mob?” Mick asked with a grin.

“Could be one and the same,” Shane admitted with an answering grin.

Mick would have loved to have heard the story, but knew better than to ask. If Shane wanted you to know something, he told you.

They lapsed into silence, each enjoying the view. Mick sensed something, he wasn’t sure what, but it was almost as if he was waiting for something, for Shane. Shane shifted, seeming uncomfortable, which was an odd look for him.

“I want to ask you something. Just wondered, did you ever –" He hesitated, and this made Mick very curious indeed. “Every time I’m with Sara and there’s this point you know where I’m vamping out, and it just hits me right in the gut – how much she _trusts_ me. Here’s this vulnerable, fragile human life that I could end in an instant, and she’s laying there just putting her entire faith in me to keep her safe. It never once crosses her mind to doubt it. It’s so amazing it just blows me away every time."

Mick was absolutely stunned; it was the most revealing thing Shane had ever shared with him. An elder vampire, questioning him about _his_ experiences. “It was a long, hard road getting to the incredible part. I was terrified of her trust, because I didn’t trust myself.”

Shane looked at him, surprised. “From what I’ve seen you’ve got a remarkable amount of control for a vamp your age.”

“Uh, thank you." Mick was absurdly pleased at the compliment. Maybe he’d underestimated himself even more than he realized. “I didn’t feel like I was worthy of her trust, it took her awhile to convince me that I was.” He smiled fondly, remembering. A brief silence fell, then Mick dared to break it with a question. “I uh, when I’m with her I don’t often need to bite. I was just wondering if that’s ‘normal’ or not…?” He may have suspected it was Beth’s blood but really didn’t know for sure; it would be nice to get some answers. At Shane’s age (whatever that was) he must have a lot of them to share – if he would.

“There’s no more normal for vamps than there is humans, it varies by individual. The older we get the more control we have though,” Shane told him.

“Doesn’t seem like it sometimes,” Mick commented. He didn’t know of any vampires that would willingly refrain from biting during sex.

“There’s self control and then there’s self control – the kind you have because you want to have it. Then there’s the kind you _choose_ not to have. Lot of vamps don’t have much because they don’t care. It’s a bit like how human men don’t want to wear condoms. You can do it, it’s just more fun the other way. Men being men…”

“And vampires being vampires…" They tended to be a very hedonistic, sensual species. The pleasure lines were definitely blurred, although Mick still fought to keep his more delineated.

“Do you know when Sara asked me about vampires? She didn’t! I told her what I was and she didn’t even blink. It wasn’t until a couple days later that she told me to tell her about us. In the meantime… she had no clue what she was getting into, just trusted me completely.”

“Wow. Beth’s got that reporter thing,” Mick grinned. “After a week of ‘processing’ it, she came armed with more questions than I wanted to answer. You’ve never been in love with a human before, have you?” he asked, deciding to press his advantage since Shane seemed to be in a receptive mood.

“I’ve been with more women than I can count, vamp and human. Men, too,” he rolled his eyes at Mick’s shocked look. “Oh, grow up – when you get this many centuries under your belt you’ll pretty much have tried everything. I’ve cared for them very deeply, maybe I loved them. But it never felt like this,” he admitted.

“Life is funny, isn’t it? We think we have so little in common with the human population and something comes along to remind us we all have certain things in common.”

“Still. Living forever… it changes all the rules. You’ll understand more when you’re older.”

“So Josef keeps telling me.”

“So listen to your elder, he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.”

Shane slapped Mick on the back. “You’ll do okay. Well, I gotta collect my girl and go get ready for the show.”

“Are you ever going to tell me how many centuries you’ve got ‘under your belt’?” Mick asked boldly.

“My age is something I don’t tell anyone,” he explained.

“Not even Sara?”

Shane didn’t answer, which was telling, Mick thought. “If it got out, my life would be an undead hell. There’d be those that wanted to challenge me, just to prove they can take on a supposedly more powerful vampire and win. Others would want to dissect me to get the secret of my longevity – yet others would expect me to serve as some kind of elder vampire chieftain or something.”

“And you just wanna rock?” Mick said, amused.

“I just want to live my life the way I choose – isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“Too many of us aren’t lucky enough to have the luxury.”

Shane shook head. “It’s a choice, Mick. Believe it.” He headed for the stairwell, pausing at the door for one more offering. “Let’s just say I’m older than Lola. _Considerably_.”

 

XXX

 

When Beth was with Josh, ‘date’ night consisted of a couple of rental movies and the couch, maybe some Chinese takeout. With Mick, it was a roof, the moonlight, and champagne. They had a blanket spread out to sit on. It was as close to perfection as Mick could imagine.

“The lights from the buildings are kinda like modern stars, aren’t they?” Beth said.

“You’re philosophical tonight.”

“I was just thinking about what a shame it is you can’t see the stars in the city.”

“Then we should take a drive some time, to where you can see them clearer, maybe the desert.”

“You just wanna make love under the stars,” she accused teasingly.

Mick ran his hand over her body. “I want to make love with you every place, every way possible. Fortunately, I’ve got eternity to get to them all, so I’m not in a hurry.”

Beth beamed at him, then leaned over and kissed him.

“Wanna hear something weird?”

“Hmm… I guess…” she answered, distracted by the curve of his mouth and his eyes that were glittering in the light from the full moon.

“I’m afraid of getting old. Isn’t that a weird thing for a vampire to be afraid of?”

“I guess it depends on why you’re afraid.”

“I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like. Do you lose every last shred of your humanity, get to the point where anything goes, like Lola?”

“You know what I think? I think you’re too young to be worrying about stuff like that yet. But if you want to look at someone, look at Shane. You said he’s really old, right? But he’s got a youthfulness about him, a passion for life. Maybe it depends on what you were like before you were turned.”

“Maybe so. Maybe the dark things I saw in myself that I attributed to being turned were really just part of me all the long…”

“We all have our dark sides, you know that. You know what I think being a vampire is? Freedom. Freedom and time.”

Mick goggled at her.

“Life is short, and humans never have enough time. We don’t do all the things we want to do; so many of us struggle our days away, just surviving till the next day or living for the weekend. Work too hard saving money for a retirement so we won’t be elderly and homeless, but then maybe die or get sick before we can enjoy what we sacrificed our best years for…”

“I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“I guess I _am_ philosophical tonight!” Beth said, embarrassed. “I suppose the grass is always greener. I know that there are downsides to everything – even being a vampire,” she teased.

“Maybe someday I’ll get used to you,” Mick said, leaning over to kiss her. His hands roamed over her body of their own volition, mapping the contours of her curves and pressing into her yielding flesh.

As a vampire, the night excited him too, and tonight he didn’t try to rein it in. He could see it in the dark shadows in the corner, smell it in the air, mingling with the scent of his mate so near. The pulse of the city was like a heartbeat, counterpoint to hers. He shrugged out of the shirt Beth had so thoughtfully unbuttoned for him, letting the slight breeze tantalize his skin.

“I’m going to make love to you, right here, right now,” he told her, beginning to undress her. She was as responsive to him as always, and he avidly tracked the changes in her body as he got her naked. He slipped out of his pants, pressing himself against her and taking a long kiss. “Maybe I’ll even bite you, if you’re good.” Her heart skipped and then pounded faster in excitement.

Mick reached over the stuck his fingers in the glass of champagne, letting the chilled liquor drip onto the skin of Beth’s breasts. She shivered at the sensation, her nipples hardening before his eyes. He chased the droplets with his tongue, lapping them up like a thirsty man in a desert.

“Did you know I can taste you?” he told her. “We can’t taste food, but I know all your flavors. I could care less about food.” His words and mouth made her shiver harder.

Instinctively she kept silent, not wanting to disturb the mood that had taken him or interrupt his flow of arousing, silken words. His voice flowed over her, as tangible as his touch.

“You feel so good, taste so good.” Mick turned her so that her back was to him. He wanted to see the tattoo, the physical sign of her commitment to him that she’d endured the pain of a needle to proudly wear. It was on her right hip just above her buttock, where she could still see it without using a mirror if she twisted around. She wasn’t going to be able to wear a really skimpy bikini without showing it to the world, but then that wasn’t her style anyway. It was healed already, so he didn’t need to use care as he caressed it with a finger. He wasn’t a monster, he was Beth’s guardian angel. He would be reminded of that every time he saw her naked body.

Beth pushed back against him, and he couldn’t resist any longer. He slid into her, reaching around her waist to tease her with his fingers as he rocked into her. The rhythm built, and his fingers rubbing her kept up with the tempo, harder and faster until she clamped around him so tight he knew the moment was right now, and as she screamed he sank his fangs into her welcoming flesh, as promised.

How could he have ever missed the harsh, unforgiving sun? The night was a much sexier mistress.

 

XXX

 

It was Sunday night. Mick sat in a comfortable chair in Josef’s living room, sipping from a glass of blood and contemplating the appealing idea of going for a nighttime swim with Beth. They had spent the weekend at Josef’s; Beth had lounged by the pool in the sun all day, while Mick enjoyed the cool, dark, guest freezer. Being at Josef’s was almost like taking a vacation, as he didn’t skimp on the luxuries and surrounded himself with the best of everything.

Of course, to Mick the best of everything was the blond-haired woman sitting across from him in the overstuffed recliner, her skin tinged with pink from the sun and her face glowing with life.

The togetherness with their out of town guests had waned somewhat; they couldn’t spend all their time entertaining, and the visitors were more than capable of fending for themselves. Shane probably knew the city better than Mick did. Greg and Silas had gone back to Alaska several days ago, as planned. Since Rock & Roll Rodeo was closed on Sunday nights, Shane, Sara and Freddy had taken advantage of the night off and gone off to attend a concert by one of their favorite bands, Poison.

The quiet was broken when Shane and Sara came bursting into the room.

“Damn, I instructed security to keep out the riff raff,” Josef quipped.

“We’re back – did you miss us?!” Sara asked with a touch of sarcasm.

Josef sighed and looked at Mick. “Well, the peace was nice while it lasted.”

“How was the show?” Beth asked them.

“Oh My Fucking God,” Shane said.

“It was great!” Sara exclaimed with a palpable excitement.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t realize. I had no idea. It’s back. It’s really back. The show was…” His eyes were a bit wild, he looked almost shell-shocked, but wired too.

“You okay?” Josef had to ask.

“I’m in heavy metal heaven.” Shane tossed a bag at him, and continued his hyper monologue as Josef opened it to find a bunch of CD’s. “Dokken, Whitesnake, House of Lords, Motley Crue – well, that one sucks, but the rest of ‘em are fucking fantastic. For a long time the bands thought they had to change their sound to be “current” and it was usually a disaster. But this is it.” He grabbed one of the CD’s out of his brother’s hand and went over to put it in the top-of-the-line Bose in the corner.

On his way back, he grabbed Josef’s shoulders. “Where the fuck was I?!” he demanded.

Josef smirked. “Alaska.”

“What the hell was I doing there?!”

“I gotta admit, I’ve wondered.”

Shane grinned at him. “Shoot me.”

“Let me just go get my silver bullets first,” Josef responded dryly.

“So I’m guessing the show was pretty good then?” Mick joked.

Shane fell back onto the couch. “Packed amphitheater. Crowd aged ten to fifties, all on their feet, screaming, singing along with every song… You could feel the love, just pouring out. I wanna get me some of that,” he announced abruptly.

Josef sat forward in his chair in alarm, having recognized the look in Shane’s eyes. “What? You can’t be famous. You’re a vampire. Are you crazy?!”

Mick picked up on his friend’s concern. “Josef’s right, it wouldn’t be smart to have your face splashed all over the internet and rock magazines. Too much attention, don’t you think?” It was ironic how Shane had been the one counseling Mick on caution just a few days ago.

Shane didn’t look like he was listening. “I am so high right now. This album is fucking awesome!” he said, moving to the music. “Listen to it. This is fucking new. From 2008. Coverdale sounds fucking amazing.”

Sara sat herself down on Shane’s lap and he buried his face in her neck, almost as if she was calming him down with her presence. He grabbed her face and kissed her, then sang along with the ballad track that was now playing. “When I look in your eyes I realize all the love that I feel is true, and everything that we been through, baby, it’s worth is just to be with you…”

Okay, events around Shane could get rowdy, but Mick had never seen the older vamp like this before. He threw an inquiring look at Josef.

“Great Balls of Fire,” Josef said quietly.

“Huh?” Mick asked, forgetting the significance of the song, although Shane had mentioned it to him.

Josef looked at Shane with what could only be described as a fond expression. “I remember a crazy man who barged into my office with a record in his hand. It’s been about fifty years since I’ve seen him like this.” With his soul on fire. Josef had to admit, if only to himself, he might consider selling his own to keep it that way.

“There’s no way I can go back to Alaska. Sure, just long enough to take care of things, but I can’t give this up now. I’ve got it back again and I’m not giving it up this time. We’re going on the road!”

Sara was uncharacteristically silent, but there was no mistaking the huge grin plastered on her face at Shane’s words.

Josef tried again. “Just calm down and be reasonable. Whatever you want, we’ll work it out somehow but I don’t wanna lose you to stupidity, okay?”

“You can still play the clubs, and go out on the road. Just keep a low profile, like you did before,” Mick agreed.

“I’ll have to get a full band together…” Shane muttered, in thought. “Freddy will definitely be in, I think. Have to replace Greg. I mean, _somebody_ has to replace me in Resurrection, besides he’s got a life up there he loves. Silas… he didn’t act like he wanted to get on that plane, did he?” He asked Sara, who shook her head in agreement. “I’m thinking he’ll be interested.”

“Who’s going to replace him as the blood supplier for the area vamps?” Mick asked.

As Shane shrugged, a sneaky smile spread over Josef’s features. “I think I know someone who would be perfect to fill that job. He used to be our supplier, was an assistant ME. He just recently relocated to Fairbanks…”

“Guillermo!” Mick exclaimed.

“That sounds great, if you think he’d want the job. We could use someone will morgue experience too, since we haven’t had a replacement for Doc.”

Josef nodded. “I’ll give him a call. Make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

“Not the Godfather again!” Mick joked.

“I wonder if I can get Joe to come with us, too,” Shane said, oblivious to anything else going on around him. He had convinced Joe to fill in for the missing Greg at the Rock & Roll Rodeo gigs, and it had been great fun playing with him again after all those years.

“He has to run the club, I don’t think he could leave it for long periods of time, could he?” Beth put in.

A slow smile formed on Shane’s face, and he looked over at his brother. “He might if there was someone else to look after the club for him while he was away. Sort of a silent partner… Making sure everything was running smoothly and it was a success.”

“Oh, crap,” Jay-Jay said with feeling.

“Well, you did say whatever he wants you’d work it out,” Mick said, enjoying his friend’s discomfort.

“Good, I’m glad you feel that way,” Josef told him. “Because I’m going to need someone with experience in the music business to help me out.”

Mick’s amused face fell. “What?!”

“Speaking of experience, we need a manager, too. Someone to book the gigs for us. Maybe Joe knows somebody…”

Beth looked over at Mick with a grin of her own, and he knew instantly what she was thinking. Or, of whom. “I think I know of a road manager who might be available,” Mick told Shane.

“Cool.”

“Why are you so quiet, Sara?” Beth finally just came right out and asked the girl. “You usually have an opinion about most things, I would think this definitely wouldn’t be an exception?”

“Shane knows what he needs to do,” she answered. “He doesn’t need me to tell him.”

He needed to follow his heart, and his soul. To be true to himself. He had his rock and roll back and he had Sara. It didn’t get more perfect than that.

What more could he need?

 

XXX

 

Mick watched Josef take a fortifying swallow of blood-laced whiskey. It was quiet again, Shane and Sara having gone off clubbing. Beth was packing up some last minute things before they returned to their apartment to get ready for another work week.

“You think he’ll be okay?” Mick asked.

“Shane’s always okay. He’s still alive, isn’t he? He just gets a little… insane sometimes.”

“And the whirlwind that’s Shane Alexander takes everyone else along for the ride?”

“Now you’re starting to get it,” Josef said approvingly.

“I wouldn’t have pegged him for having that big of an ego, though.”

Josef shook his head. “It’s not that he wants the fame and adoration. Not really,” he denied firmly, in his brother’s defense.

Mick regarded him skeptically. “Then why?”

Josef studied his empty glass, his eyes speaking of a lot of secrets unrevealed. “He, uh, it’s the energy coming from the show, I think. Generated by the audience and the band. It’s like a drug.”

And for someone with empathic-like tendencies, hard to resist.

“He’s almost as full of surprises as you are.”

Josef couldn’t help grinning. “He’s only like this over rock and roll. It’s the only thing makes him nuts like this.”

“And Sara,” Mick added.

Josef gave him an indecipherable look, but after a pause, nodded. “And Sara.” Was that sadness in his voice? Mick never had a chance to figure it out, because just then Beth came in and began chatting about the new story she was working on.

In the end, you can’t fight against love. It shows no mercy and takes no prisoners. Unconditional surrender is your only fate. When you do – you discover you won after all.

 

**End Chapter Eight: Can You Hear the Wind Blow?**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: When I originally wrote this story back in '08/09, I had no idea myself of what was going on between Josef and Shane. My muses revealed that to me during the writing of this novel. And so I wanted the readers also to enjoy the mystery. Have you guessed? If not, the next chapter will begin to explain... explicitly.
> 
> Credits: Ballad Shane is singing along with is “All I Want, All I Need", from the Whitesnake album, "Good to be Bad"


	9. Zugzwang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... Shane's in town for a visit and Josef is upset about something. Shane has to figure out what. They play chess. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is m/m.

\--The term zugzwang is frequently used in chess. A player whose turn it is to move who has no move that does not worsen their position is said to be in zugzwang. Thus every move would make their position worse, and they would be better off if they could pass and not move. (Wikipedia)

 

_Wherever you go, I’ll be there; I’ll be waiting to care for you_  
 _Whatever you want, I’ll try to give, no matter what I have to do_  
 _Through thick and thin I’ll be your friend, by your side till the very end_  
 _You’re all I want, all I need, so baby flow like a river to me…_  
\--Whitesnake, All I Want, All I Need

 

April 2008:

Fifty years. How could so much time have passed, in the blink of a cosmic eye? Five decades, and Shane was waltzing into his space again, CD’s clutched in his grasp instead of a 45 record. (And Josef actually found himself liking the stupid Whitesnake album, how sad was that?). Still in love with his rock and roll…and, unbelievably, in love with a human girl named Sara. So much changed, so much still the same, and Josef was unsure of which things fell into which categories.

Josef didn’t like being unsure of anything.

One week since Shane had arrived in L.A. for what was only supposed to be a short visit. It felt like a year (so he’d told Shane); it felt like the blink of an eye. He’d been surprised when Shane had taken on a life as sheriff of the small town of Resurrection, Alaska almost a decade ago; he wasn’t surprised that it was over and Shane was coming back. Back to the rock and roll that had been itself resurrected, back to L.A…

Josef sat in the wing chair, staring at Shane across the room. The energy still pouring off the other vampire even after several hours was palpable, reaching across the space between them and dancing along his nerve endings with an annoyingly pleasant tingle. He said nothing; just let the silence grow until it was stretched so thin it was almost at the breaking point. He didn’t intend to make it easy for Shane.

“Nobody gets any peace if you can’t get your way. You’re a spoiled fucking brat, you know that?” Shane told him.

“And who the fuck do you think I am – besides a spoiled brat, of course?” Josef inquired archly.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Shane asked, finally coming closer. He was vibrating with the energy, and Josef was pushing his buttons again. And they both knew it. “I guarantee you won’t like it, whether it’s good or bad. You’re perverse that way.”

“And you’re boring me. Why are you here?”

“Why do you want me to be?” Shane countered, earning one second of surprise that flitted across Josef’s face. He hadn’t been expecting that question. It was like playing a freaking chess game, and the last thing Shane was in the mood for. Of course Jay-Jay knew that.

Josef recovered quickly. “Who says I want you to be?”

The antique grandfather clock in the corner of the bedroom suite ticked away the seconds as they stared at each other, the sound unnaturally loud in the quiet room. There was going to be a stalemate if one of them didn’t give in. It wasn’t going to be Josef. Not with the current strategy. Shane felt like screaming in frustration.

It wasn’t always this difficult between them. There was something off here; Josef had a bug up his ass about something.

“You knew I would be.” Bingo, another hit? _What the fuck? He didn’t know?!_

Shane needed to burn off the energy that was still thrumming inside of him from the rock concert, and there was only one person in the whole world he could go to. The only one who knew all of his secrets, his past, who knew _him_. And vice versa. It was what they hated about each other, what they loved – and what bound them together for eternity.

Josef leaned forward in his chair. “So your little human’s not enough for you?”

Shane’s eyes flashed pale, but he managed to keep his control. It was an especially vicious jab, even for Jay-Jay. He knew he was being baited again; he was familiar enough with Josef’s technique. If he took him now, Josef won. If he fell to his own knees and pleaded to know why Jay insisted on playing games with him, Josef won. If he turned and walked away – not that he had any intention of doing that – they’d both lose.

“And you call _me_ the puppet master?” Shane said incredulously, noting the pleased reaction to his ‘compliment.’ There was absolutely nothing he could do, except what Josef wanted him to do. He had basically lost the moment he walked in the door – but of course if he hadn’t come at all, he’d still lose. “Where the fuck did you learn this shit from?!”

“It’s a gift from God.” The damn smile was genuine.

Shane took another step closer. He really wanted to wipe that smirk off the man’s face. “You love to play games, but you know I hate them. Why do you enjoy torturing me? Do you hate me that much?” He paused to let Josef enjoy his self-satisfaction just for a moment. “Or do you love me that much?”

Direct hit! Josef’s eyes flashed. It was like picking his way through a mine field – all the while knowing it was only a matter of time before he stepped on one. All he wanted to do was fuck, and the man was driving him absolutely fucking insane.

“I hate your guts.” And of course it was the only thing Josef could say. And it was a lie, they both knew it, and there was something just underneath, just enough of something for Shane to know that Josef couldn’t make it easy on him. He had no choice in the matter any more than Shane did. Things were the way they were; why was he torturing them both?

Shane deliberately raked his eyes down Josef’s front, finally resigned to playing the game. “That bulge in your pants says otherwise,” he told him with an unpleasant smile.

Josef shrugged. “Not necessarily, but I digress. You’re definitely starting to bore me, and quite frankly I’m considering telling you to go find someone else to use to get your rocks off.”

“Use?!” Shane was nearly apoplectic at the affront. “Fine.” He turned toward the door in a calculated feign. In that split second, he caught enough real in Josef’s expression out of the corner of his eye to know it was what he wanted. In next instant Josef was against the wall with his eyes closed, Shane pressed against his back.

“You’re either an idiot or an asshole,” Shane growled into his ear. “It was a turn on for you when I was doing this in the garden, wasn’t it?” He pressed his body harder into Josef’s, making sure his own arousal could be felt. They had been fighting over Sara at the time, well, at least that’s what he’d thought they were fighting about; now he wasn’t quite so sure… He felt Josef’s lower body pressing back into his. “You’re a sick puppy, you know that?”

Josef twisted in his grasp. “Me? Look who’s talking, you—“

Shane grabbed his face roughly and kissed him. Knew he had to stop them both talking before they said things to each other that they didn’t want to, that couldn’t be taken back. He spared a moment to feel sad that it had to be this way…but it’s the way Jay-Jay wanted it. So be it.

“You want to do it this way, fine we’ll do it your way you stupid, stubborn son of a bitch,” Shane growled, manhandling Josef out of his clothes.

Josef was grinning. “I love it when you get all romantic.” Fingers too impatient to deal with buttons ripped his shirt. “Do you know how much these clothes cost?”

“Do I look like I care?” Shane returned.

One of the things he personally loved most about having the vamp speed was how the impediment of clothing could be gone in the blink of an eye. He shoved Josef face down on the bed, one hand fumbling in the drawer of the nightstand for some sort of lube he hoped was stashed there. As vampires, injury no longer held any concern and pain wasn’t quite the same as it once was either, but some things they still shared with humans.

Shane had just scored his prize and closed his hand around the tube when Josef started to turn over. He slapped him across the ass in warning. Hard.

“Hey you sicko!” Jay-Jay complained.

“ _Sicko_?!” Shane had to laugh through his anger and arousal.

Shane watched for a moment as Josef moved on the bed, rubbing himself against the mattress. He caressed one cheek, squeezing and sliding fingers over the opening of Josef’s body. His mouth and tongue followed, and the other man nearly levitated off the bed when his tongue slipped inside.

He squeezed some lube onto his fingers and slipped them inside when Josef growled at him. “You’ve been fucking human women too much – if you don’t get on with it and give it to me, I’m going to find a vampire who can!” he threatened.

Shane didn’t need any more encouragement – or insulting, whichever it was. He spread a handful of lube over his cock and pushed into the body waiting for him.

Josef shoved back with a yell of triumph, impaling himself completely.

Shane vamped out at the first sharp spikes of pleasure. He reached around to grab Josef’s erection, jerking him off roughly as he pumped into him. Hard, fast, and rough. Just like he’d wanted it. Who’d wanted it? Josef. No, he did. Both of them. Good, so good. Josef met his thrusts with equal force. The energy between them intensified, quickly building to a crescendo. Shane sank his fangs into Josef’s neck, and the sensation pushed Josef over the edge. He came with a shout. The combination of both sent Shane over as well, the energy surrounding them flowing into the point where their bodies met, and exploding out into the universe.

 

XXX

 

They lay there facing each other, recovering. Both replete and boneless, that wonderful feeling of total relaxation that only comes after great sex. Some would consider it an especially vulnerable time, even more so than the act of sex itself.

Shane reached out to cup Josef’s face tenderly, noting the flash of alarm in the other man’s eyes with satisfaction. He pulled him closer.

“What are you—“ Before he could finish the sentence, Shane had covered his mouth with a kiss.

“I missed you,” Shane told him when the kiss ended. Josef tried to move away, but Shane grabbed his face in both hands and wouldn’t let go. “No games. Just you and me, here. Guess what I’m going to do now?” he asked with a smile.

“Fuck…” Josef moaned as a mouth closed over his dick, which was fast coming to attention again. The strong suction continued to torment for an endless time. Then that mouth proceeded to kiss and lick its way up Josef’s body from groin to chest. “Oh fuck…” he repeated helplessly. “You’re such a bastard.”

Shane pulled Josef’s legs onto his thighs so he could push into him from the front. He held Jay-Jay’s face firmly in his hands, locking gazes and not letting him look away. One well placed thrust nailed his prostate, and his eyes closed.

“Open your eyes,” Shane whispered to him. He thrust slowly, drawing out the pleasure. “Why are you mad at me?”

“Don’t. I’m not—“ his voice cut off as another jolt of pleasure interrupted, making him cry out.

Shane put his head down against Josef’s. “Talk to me.”

“You’re not…not playing fair,” he managed through the pleasurable sensations bombarding him.

“Because I’m not playing,” Shane told him. “I love you, you know that.”

“What the hell am I supposed to say? What do you want me to say, dammit!”

“Just be here with me. Just be here.” And Shane Alexander wasn’t stupid, even if it did take him awhile to figure some things out. “The way I feel about Sara has nothing to do with how I feel about you. If you don’t know that you’re an idiot.”

The fight finally went out of Josef. The eyes that looked at him were eyes he rarely saw anymore. They were Jay-Jay’s eyes.

“I hat—I love you,” he admitted. “I missed you,” he whispered, grabbing Shane’s arms and drawing him closer.

Shane pulled Josef’s head to his neck, offering. “I need you,” he said in a voice that shook with unguarded feeling.

And it was one of the things that was unchanged. “Fuck me,” Josef demanded, and then sunk his fangs into the neck bared for him.

“I need you,” Josef cried his own confession, in that moment of insanity otherwise known as orgasm.

 

XXX

 

Josef stared hard at Shane over his glass of B&B (blood & bourbon); just to be annoying, probably. He was in the bed, leaning against the headboard, the sheet drawn up to his waist.

“What are you a heathen? You don’t have any J.D. in this place?” Shane said disgustedly, but had accepted the drink nonetheless. He was collecting the articles of his clothing scattered about, tossing them on the chair near the bed.

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on,” Josef replied mildly.

“Uh, that would be you,” Shane told him with a wide grin.

Josef spread his hands as if accepting the fact in good natured agreement. “ _Heathen_? Where do you get this shit? You’re the heathen you idiot, _you_ were the one born pagan.”

“Not my fault my parents were hold-outs.” Shane crawled back into the bed and kissed him, enjoying the flavor of the B&B in his mouth. “You won anyway, didn’t you?” he asked.

Josef grinned. “If you don’t know by now that I always win…” But his kisses were genuine; they were unguarded and real and felt so good. The tension was gone.

Till next time.

“So why are you staying at a hotel, and not here?” Josef asked again.

Shane collapsed back down on the bed, pillowing his head in Josef’s lap, exasperated at the repeated question. “You really want the freshies subjected to Sara? ‘Cause I’m thinking that’s a _bad_ idea,” Shane told him, picturing her sharp tongue and probing questions. Considering the way she dispatched groupies, he was understandably concerned. He could picture the poor girls in tears before the end of the first day.

Josef ran his hand through Shane’s hair, seemingly deep in thought, his mind somewhere else too. “What, you can’t ask her to be nice?”

“We are talking about Sara Adams, right?”

Josef had to concede the point. “I’m not going to steal her from you,” he added almost as an afterthought.

“And she’s not going to steal _me_ from you, so I think we’re even,” Shane embarrassed him by saying.

Josef gave a hard yank to the hair still in his fist.

“Ouch, hey! Okay, look, we’re going back to Resurrection in a few days anyway. When we come back down, while we’re getting the band into shape and setting up the gigs, we’ll stay here.” He pointed a finger at Josef. “You get to referee.”

“Until I get sick of you and kick you out.”

“Until then,” Shane agreed.

No, in the end, you can’t fight against love. It shows no mercy and takes no prisoners. Unconditional surrender is your only fate. When you do – you discover you won after all.

 

_I remember the days when we were young_   
_I held your hand like a precious stone_   
_It’s still the same, nothing’s changed, baby_   
_I’ll never ever leave you alone._

 

**End of Chapter 9: Zugzwang**


	10. Theater of the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the next few chapters, we get the truth about Shane's past, and an accidental revelation about Sarah Whitley sends Josef into a tailspin, leading to some explosive truths coming out between them. As if things couldn't get any worse, they have some bad news for Mick that might shatter his dreams.

  
_I know that nothing’s the same, riding blind on the winds of change…_  
 _Long forgotten midnight dancer plays her final role_  
 _(Can’t run can’t hide can’t get nothing right lately)_  
 _The curtain falls and I’m still standing_  
 _In the theater of my soul…_  
\--Poison

 

Sara surveyed the bathtub for a moment, and then walked back out into their hotel bedroom. Shane was lounging on the bed, surfing the internet for music with the laptop computer he’d borrowed from Josef. The sun was just starting to go down behind the light blocking curtains. Friday night was falling. It was their last weekend in L.A., and they were getting ready to go to Josef’s to hang out.

“Hey, uh, how am I supposed to take a shower? There’s still ice in the tub that hasn’t melted.”

Shane glanced at her. “Run the hot water.”

“Oh. Duh. That’ll work.”

He grinned at her in agreement.

“It is kinda weird,” she opined over the sound of the water, as she turned the hot on full blast and let it run over the melting ice.

“You get used to it.”

Sara came back out again to wait for the water to do its job. “Although, I gotta say, the idea of being forever nineteen sounds really cool,” she told him.

Shane looked up at her from over the computer screen. _We’re having this discussion already, are we?_ “ I’m sure it would,” he responded neutrally. “On the other hand, you hate the lack of respect now – do you really want to go through centuries being treated like a nineteen year old?”

She made a face as she contemplated the prospect. “You have a point.”

Shane reached over and snagged a hand, pulling her to sit beside him on the bed. “Everyone matures and changes with experience and time, even vampires, so being forever nineteen on the outside isn’t going to stop what goes on on the inside. I think the kind of youth you’re wanting to keep is in _here_ ,” he touched her heart, and then forehead. “And that’s something separate from how many years old your body is.”

Sara thought about his words. “I guess you’re right.”

“I don’t see you losing that any time soon. But it’s your decision… it just needs to be an informed one.”

“It’s something to think about. Well, I’m gonna grab that shower before the hot water runs out.” She gave him a quick kiss and headed for the bathroom again, stripping off the underwear she was wearing on the way. The articles were tossed impudently to land on his head.

“Ah, how'd you know I have an underwear fetish?!” he joked, making an exaggerated show of sniffing her panties.

The bathroom door slammed on her shriek of laughter.

 

XXX

 

A short time later, Sara came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body and brushing her hair. Shane was staring at the computer screen, rock music playing in the background. He was so engrossed he didn’t even acknowledge her presence. That was odd enough to make her sit down beside him, curious to see what held his fascination.

“Pretty good,” she said of the music playing. “They kinda sound like Journey or something, only harder. “Who are they?”

“Brother Firetribe. They’re a new band from Finland.” His voice held an odd note, and sounded far away.

“New? Cool.” The webpage he was looking at proclaimed: “Metal from Finland” across the top. There was a Viking-type guy holding a Finland flag in the right corner. The picture of the band showed a couple of blond, long haired guys posing for the camera.

“Turns out they’ve got a big metal scene over there.”

“You have a really weird look on your face,” she finally prompted.

“I feel weird right now,” Shane admitted. “Just coming face to face with my roots after all this time.” He began clicking through photos of local scenery that were provided on the site. Finally, he looked directly at her. “I was born in Norway.”

Sara glanced at the current shot on the screen. A winter sunset through the trees, their reflection on water. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a totally different country… but same part of the world. I spent quite a bit of time in Finland, too.” Now he was scrolling through autumn shots. “I can almost smell the fresh air…”

“How long has it been since you’ve been back there?” she asked, slipping an arm around his waist. The mood of nostalgia around him was unmistakable.

“Not since I was turned.” He put his own arm around her. “That was in 1013. I was a Viking explorer.”

“Wow,” Sara commented quietly. She didn’t know quite what to say. She didn’t want to act _too_ impressed, he wouldn’t like too big a deal being made, but on the other hand she wanted to give the news the reverence it deserved. “I think that’s really neat, and you must have had an exciting time.”

Shane gazed at her knowingly, as if he’d read her mind. “But what do you _really_ think?”

Sara grinned at him ruefully. “I think it’s pretty fucking cool. I’m jealous. I’ve had such a boring life,” she lamented.

“Plenty of time to turn things around,” he assured her, with maybe a little emphasis on the word _turn_.

“Well, I’m hanging around with you now, so I somehow don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Hey – I just remembered, I did a paper on Vikings for school, back in junior high.”

“What’d you get?” he asked teasingly.

“B+,” she said proudly, giving him a sideways look. “The theme of my paper was how the stereotypical view of Vikings was perpetuated by the historical accounts of their enemies, and therefore inaccurate.”

He couldn’t look at her; kept his eyes on the pix he was scanning through. “You were right,” he said quietly. It had been so long since he’d spoken of any of this. Up till now, it was a taboo subject. There was only one other person, in almost a thousand years, that knew these things.

"They were the barbarians," he continued. "Do you know, they thought we were weird because we bathed once a week and combed our hair?!"

Sara’s arm tightened around him, attuned as she always seemed to be, to his moods. “Do you want to go back for a visit?”

“Yes. And no.” It was a yearning, yet terrifying.

“Shane doesn’t sound like a Viking name,” she teased.

“Maybe, someday, I might tell you my real name. It loses something in the translation. But actually, my mother was Irish. My father met her when he was living in a Viking settlement in Waterford.”

“Just another thing we have in common,” she said, referring to the fact that she was partially of Irish descent.

“Let’s not go there,” Shane warned with a grin. “Life is weird enough as it is.”

“So are we going?” she asked. “To the real Land of the Midnight Sun?”

“Maybe… we could check out the rock scene in Finland, play some clubs… Spend some time in Norway while we’re there. “I’d like to show you where I was human.”

“I’d like to see it,” she told him quietly.

“You’re the only other person besides Josef who knows this,” he told her. Letting her know, gently, that it wasn’t a topic for public knowledge.

Sara rose to her knees, resting her forearms on his shoulders. “I wish I had some secrets to share. I’d give them all to you.”

No longer distracted by the computer, he put it aside. Her clean, damp skin called to him instead, much more insistently. “We don’t have to leave for awhile yet,” he said, hand undoing her towel and letting it fall to the floor.

 

XXX

 

Probably not surprisingly, Mick and Beth were the first to arrive at Josef’s. As Mick entered the house, his vamp ears picked up the sound of singing… At first he thought perhaps Shane was there already, but quickly ascertained that it wasn’t his voice. It sounded suspiciously like Josef’s in fact… His eyes opened wide in shock as the melody finally registered. Josef, singing along with the radio or something (Mick hoped it was just a random song on the radio).

“You ask me if they’ll come a time when I grow tired of you, never my love, never my love. You wonder if this heart of mine will lose its desire for you, never my love, never my love…”

He had a surprisingly good voice – if you could get past the shock of the occurrence.

Mick stopped so short in the hallway that Beth literally ran into his back.

“Oof! What?” she asked.

“Josef.”

“What about him?”

“He’s singing. Josef is _singing_.” Even after he'd said it, he couldn’t quite believe it.

“What song?” she wanted to know.

“It’s Never My Love. The Association.”

“I love that song.”

“It’s _Josef_!” he hissed, becoming annoyed that she wasn’t grasping the freakishness of the event.

Shaking her head in dismissal of his reaction, Beth brushed past him and into the living room. Josef of course, was now silent, nonchalantly sipping a glass of brandy when they walked in and looking totally innocent of the slander just placed upon him.

“Good evening, Josef,” Beth said, shooting Mick a disbelieving look.

“Beth, Mick,” he replied. “Help yourselves to a drink. I’ve got some light snacks for you food eaters too,” he told Beth with a mock grimace, as if he was proposing eating worms or something equally gross.

“Yeah, I think we will – hey what song were you just singing?” Mick whirled around on him and asked, hoping to catch him off guard or something.

“Singing? Me? You’re obviously having hearing troubles, must be from Beth’s blood. Have you been imbibing again?” he grinned when he saw by Mick’s embarrassed expression that his accusation was correct. “You know me better than that.”

“You were singing! I’m going to tell Shane,” Mick threatened, wincing when he realized he sounded like a child bickering with another.

“Do it and die,” Josef warned.

“Oh – so you admit you were singing?!”

“I was definitely not singing. I just don’t want you telling lies about me.”

“Okay,” Mick smiled, clearly unconvinced.

 

XXX

 

“Hey, you stole my Whitesnake album,” Shane announced as he and Sara joined the group a half hour later.

“What are you, delusional?” Josef responded. “And you’d think after all these centuries you would have learned some etiquette. You know, hello, nice to see you, those kinds of polite civilized greetings.”

Shane went over to the CD player and ejected the disc. “See? It’s right here.”

“You probably forgot and left it here,” Josef suggested.

“I did not. I put it back in the case before I left,” Shane denied.

When he saw Mick watching the exchange with a smug look, Josef shot him a warning finger. “Not one word.”

“Who me?” Mick said. He turned away, but all could clearly hear him humming “Never My Love.”

“By the way,” Shane told Josef, bouncing a little on his feet. “Guess where I’m going?”

“Crazy? To hell in a hand basket? Nuts? Insane? Cuckoo? Over the edge, off the cliff, around the bend?”

Shane perched on the arm of Josef’s chair and put his hand over his brother’s mouth to halt the flow of snarky words. “Home.”

Josef removed the hand. “Yeah,” he enunciated clearly as if to a child. “I know. Back to Alaska. Thank god,” he added in a stage whisper.

Shane shook his head. “Nope, home.”

“On the road?” he guessed next.

“No, _home_ , home.”

“Home?” Josef’s eyes widened in shock.

Shane shrugged. “I figured it’s past time, you know? Turns out there’s a big rock scene near there, I figured we’d book some gigs while we’re there. I want to show Sara my roots.” He hesitated before continuing. “I want you to come over too, at least for a few days. I’d like to show you where I grew up, too.”

“I—I can do that, sure,” Josef answered in an uncharacteristically subdued voice. “I’d like that.”

“Great. Me, too.”

Mick interrupted the moment. “I don’t suppose you intend on telling us where home is?” he asked just for asking, knowing he wouldn’t be answered.

Shane gave him a long measuring look. Finally, he answered. “Norway.”

From the surprise on Josef’s face, Mick knew he hadn’t expected Shane to tell them either.

Clearly uncomfortable with the disclosure, Shane dismissed the conversation, handing the CD back to Josef. “Keep it, since you like it so much.”

“I do not—“ Josef sputtered in denial, until Mick started humming again, then he shut up fast, glaring at his friend.

Mick decided it was rather fun getting the last ‘word.’

 

XXX

 

The evening started out quiet and uneventful, but sometimes the things lying in wait, that spring out from the darkness when we least expect it, seem to enjoy lulling us into that false sense of security. Sara and Beth had gone out to the pool for a swim; the boys had retired to Josef’s game room for a few games of pool. A nice, normal evening for a mixed group of vampires and humans.

Sara padded into the kitchen for a cold drink. She was just grabbing two bottles of lemonade from the refrigerator when Josef came in.

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Hey,” he said back, feeling uncomfortable for some odd reason. “Shane’s threatening to leave if I don’t give him a 'decent' drink,” he explained, rooting around in the cabinets for the bottle of Jack Daniels that he knew was around somewhere.

“Who’s winning?”

“Shane,” he answered peevishly.

Sara shrugged. “From what I’ve heard, good thing Beth’s not playing.”

“A shark, huh? Good to know, thanks for the intel.”

An awkward silence fell.

“Look uh,” Sara was the one to break it. “I hope you didn’t think, I mean before…” she paused and blew out a puff of frustrated air. “I hope I didn’t…give you the wrong idea or anything,” she finished in a rush.

Josef couldn’t help but be amused by her awkwardness. It eased his own. “No harm done. Sorry I gave _you_ the wrong idea. You know, about Shane.”

“No harm done,” she smiled at him, and slipped onto one of the barstools at the counter. “Actually, I think it might have done the opposite.”

“You’re welcome,” Josef told her with a grin. He was never quite sure, afterward, what had prompted him to say those next fateful words. For some reason he couldn’t quite explain to himself, he wanted her to know. Maybe it was male pride, or an attempt to put her totally at ease.

Or the relentless whim of fate.

“I don’t want you to think I’m the type of vampire to put the moves on his friend’s girl. I once loved a woman named Sarah. You remind me of her,” he admitted.

“Or his brother’s girl?” sara said with a small smile.

If he’d needed confirmation as to how deep Shane’s feelings for Sara ran, that would have cinched it. The evidence though, was already overwhelming. He didn’t know quite how to feel about that. He didn’t know just how many of his—their—secrets Shane had already given away. This new person, this nineteen year old human girl, was now part of the “family” and as such she would be part of Josef’s life as well. He didn’t know her, was trusting her because Shane did -- but if she ever hurt Shane in any way – he’d kill her slowly, and enjoy it enormously.

“Especially his brother’s,” Josef nodded.

“What happened to your Sarah?”

“She died.” Not the truth, exactly… but enough truth there. For all intents and purposes, he’d killed her.

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.” Yet still like yesterday, for her time had stopped. Maybe for him as well.

“I was named after my Great Aunt Sarah. It’s a big story in my family, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Josef said, feigned interest out of politeness.

“My grandpa – my mother’s father, fell in love with a woman his father didn’t approve of. He forbade him to continue the relationship. When Grandpa Whitley refused, his father disowned him, cast him from the family as if he’d never existed. He severed all ties with his family, and started a new life with the woman he loved. Isn’t that romantic?! Shortly after that, his sister Sarah disappeared. They never found her. Mom named me after her. They say I look like her.”

Josef had stopped listening somewhere around the Grandpa _Whitley_ part, then his hearing kicked in again at the last part. It took four hundred years of poker faces to keep his expression neutral, as he backed away from Sara, unable to stop staring. “Yeah, that’s uh, really romantic. If you’ll excuse me, I just remembered I have an important phone call to make…”

 

XXX

 

Mick was just lining up his cue to take the first shot of their new game, when his cell phone rang. Digging it out of his pocket to answer, he gave the screen a puzzled glance as he noted it was Josef.

“Wha—“ he began into the phone. Before he had a chance to say more, a string of curses that would make a sailor blush assaulted his ears. Other languages followed, sounded like maybe, Russian? German? And something else he didn’t recognize at all. He was betting they were invectives as well. “What’s wrong?” he finally interrupted, alarmed.

“Can you come to my study, please, immediately?” The quiet, formal tone alarmed as much as the curses. “Not one word.” The line went dead.

Mick looked up at Shane. “Uh, I uh…” He wondered what to say, how much Shane had heard on the other end.

“The Master’s Voice?” Shane said with a slight grin, answering his unanswered question.

“I don’t know what that was all about, but I guess I’d better go see.”

“What’d you do now?” Shane joked.

“No clue, but I’ll let you know.”

“I’ll practice while you’re gone.”

“Like you need practice?! I’m going to send Beth in here to play you,” Mick threatened on his way out.

“Then I’ll definitely need the practice.”

 

XXX

 

The minute the study door closed behind Mick, the cursing began again. “Great Aunt motherfucking Sarah!” Josef was sitting behind his desk, a tall glass of bourbon in front of him and the bottle beside it. “I don’t fucking believe this!”

Mick had never seen his friend this upset in all the years he’d known him. “Josef – what the hell is wrong?!”

He rubbed a hand over his face and visibly tried to calm down. “I just had a very…enlightening talk with Shane’s Sara. In which she told me a story about her family – her grandfather who had a falling out with his old man and left. And her mother’s aunt, who mysterious disappeared from New York in 1955.”

“Oh shit –" Mick murmured, putting the pieces together.

“Goddamn Great Aunt Sarah!”

“All right, calm down!” Mick demanded.

“Calm down?! What the hell does this mean? What’s this supposed to mean?!”

Mick ran a hand through his hair, thinking. “Okay, so it makes sense. That’s why Sara seemed so familiar to you, and why you were so attracted to her. Family resemblance.” And then another thought struck without warning, about families and other things besides looks that might run in them. A sinking feeling settled in his gut.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?!” Josef demanded.

“You have to tell Shane.”

“No!”

“What if it runs in the family, what happened to her? I mean, maybe it’s some genetic thing, and he tries to turn Sara someday? He needs to know. Just in case.”

Josef stared at Mick as the implications hit him. The idea of even a possibility of Shane going through the hell he had was too much. The pain hit him fresh again, as if it was just yesterday that he’d bitten her neck, drained her blood and fed her his own and waited for her to come back to him. And waited…

And then there was the just-as-devastating alternative: Shane having to watch the woman he loved – the first woman he’d loved in almost one thousand years – grow old and die, never being able to share the future with him. Shane wasn’t any Saint St. John; the idea of turning Sara wouldn’t take long to come up if it hadn’t already, and he’d have no moral dilemma or hesitation in the matter.

Josef rested his forehead down on his folded arms on the desk, taking the time he needed to compose himself.

“Josef?” Mick inquired, worried. When his friend looked up, the face greeting him was more like a young boy’s than a four hundred year old, world wise vampire’s.

“I’ll tell him. Send him in, please.”

 

**End of Chapter Ten: Theater of the Soul**


	11. Life Loves a Tragedy

  
_One more step I swear and I’ll go over the edge_  
 _I gotta stop living at a pace that kills before I wake up dead..._  
 _I think it’s time I move on like a rolling stone_  
 _Cause I got all the broken dreams I can buy, gotta sell the ones I stole..._  
 _Good times, bad times, how life loves a tragedy_  
 _Heartbreaks, heartaches, how life loves a tragedy_  
\--Poison

 

The minute Shane walked into the room and got a look at Josef’s face, he knew it was bad. “What’s happened?!” he demanded.

“Sit…” Josef cleared his throat and tried again. “Sit down, please. I have something I need to talk with you about.”

“You’re scaring the crap out of me,” he said, doing as told.

Maybe this was why he’d survived, why what happened to Sarah had to happen – so he could prevent Shane from going through the same hell? Not much consolation though, since he’d still go through hell if he had to lose her to age, just a different type.

“Just let me tell the story please, and don’t interrupt. There’s something I never told you about. It was 1954, New York. I was waiting for a train when a beautiful woman asked me for a light. I bet ‘love at first sight’ is something you never thought you’d hear me admit to, especially with a human.” The surprise on Shane’s face agreed with him, but he remained silent as requested. “I just knew she was something special.” He took a moment because his voice was way too close to sounding like tears for his own comfort level. “We started seeing each other. We were together for almost a year. I was keeping what I was a secret from her, but she guessed. Can you believe that, she guessed. Sharp, that was my Sarah. She just kept surprising me. Said she didn’t care what I was, and said… she said she wanted me to turn her, so we could be together forever.” He swiveled his chair around to face the window before he could go on.

“I held out for awhile, but she kept bugging me about it. Finally, I agreed. So I drained her, and fed her my own blood, and waited. And waited… I’m still waiting…”

“Jay-Jay,” Shane breathed, staring at the reflection that Josef didn’t realize was visible in the window.

“She’s in a townhome in New York. I’ve got round the clock nursing care for her. She’s still young and beautiful… but she never woke up. That’s why I was so weird about your girl. She reminded me of my Sara.”

Shane moved, coming over to hunch down by Josef’s chair. “Jesus, Jay-Jay, why didn’t you ever tell me?!” he demanded, both angry at him and heartsick for him. “I could have… I would have been there for you. Dammit, why!”

“I don’t know,” Josef responded, oddly more composed now. “Don’t ask me that now, because there’s more I need to get out first.” He continued before he lost his strength, looking down at Shane. “Did you ever hear that story in Sara’s family, about her grandfather Whitley and how he left his family?”

“Yeah, they like to tell everyone how he gave it all up for True Love,” he smiled slightly.

Josef’s next words wiped the smile off his face. “And you heard about her Great Aunt Sarah who disappeared in 1955?” he stressed the date. “My Sarah _is_ Sarah Whitley – Sara’s great aunt.”

“Motherfucker,” Shane whispered, fumbling himself into the chair again. “That’s just weird…”

“I don’t…” the damn moisture was back; Josef angrily squeezed the bridge of his nose, hard enough to make his eyes water for a second with the sting of pain. “I would do anything to make what I’m about to say not true, but – you have to consider the possibility that maybe it’s some kind of family thing… Maybe your Sara can’t be turned, either,” he whispered, steeling himself for the reaction.

Shane didn’t say a word at first, and Josef would kill for that poker face. It gave away nothing. Then, an odd expression flitted in, one that didn’t belong. Embarrassment? _Guilt_?

“I’ve never heard of anything like that, in a thousand years. Something like that running in families,” Shane murmured. “There’s only one situation I’ve ever heard of where that kind of thing happens…” He abruptly jumped up and turned his back on Josef.

Josef jumped up as well. “What situation is that?” he demanded, anxious to find out what had gone wrong, if he could.

“Half breeds,” Shane whispered, the words sending a chill through Josef. “That’s what happens when you try to turn a half breed. It doesn’t work.”

“What?!” Josef nearly screamed at him. _Coraline was right?_   He nearly panicked until he remembered something he wouldn’t have forgotten if he was thinking clearly. “Are you crazy?! What the hell are you talking about? I was a half breed! I was turned, I’m here!”

When Shane turned and faced him, the look on his face slammed into Josef’s gut like a fist. He didn’t know what was coming next, but knew he didn’t want to hear it. Now, the guilt was like a neon sign.

“I’m sorry,” Shane whispered.

“What are you sorry about?!” Josef demanded. “Tell me!”

“I should have told you before, but I… I had my reasons,” Shane laughed mirthlessly. “You remember when I found you, after Max turned you. You were just coming to, hungry and confused, and then there was that mob… What I didn’t tell you was – I didn’t come across you until about twenty four hours later. You were… dead, but not undead. You hadn’t regained consciousness, you didn’t wake up.”

Josef stared, understanding, and horror and hatred and betrayal, love and pain and a million other emotions coursing through him. His hand flexed, fingers itching to reach into the drawer for the gun he kept there; the one with the silver bullets. Only not knowing which one of them he’d use it on kept him from moving. “What happened?” he hissed, knowing the answer.

“I did the only thing I could think of to do – I fed you my own blood. And it worked.”

“ _You’re my sire_.”

“No!”

“You're my sire, you bastard!” A push sent the desk tumbling over, everything on it crashing to the floor.

“I swear to god I never thought of it like that! Max was your sire, I just… I just helped you wake up. God, our relationship is complicated enough as it is!”

“What is it, I wasn’t good enough for you? You didn’t want to be my sire?” Josef tossed out, his tone filled with venom.

“Fuck, no! It wasn’t like that. Listen to me!” Shane grabbed for Josef’s shoulders, but was pushed violently away. “Jesus, Jay-Jay—“

“Don’t you fucking call me that!” The tears were there now; he didn’t even notice. When Shane tried to come closer, to appease, he landed a hard punch to his jaw, sending him reeling back. “You let me think that asshole was my sire all this time—“

“That’s the way I thought of it!” Shane insisted. Heedless of his own tears, he approached again, grabbing Josef roughly by the shoulders.

Josef threw him off, and stalked around the room like a caged animal. An expensive vase found its way into his hand, and then met with the far wall. Finally he sank down on the floor in the corner.

“Please, Jay-Josef,” Shane begged, heedlessly approaching him again, kneeling down next to him. “I was wrong. I know that now. Forgive me for not telling you.”

“You didn’t want me, that’s okay, you should have just told me,” he said in a subdued voice that was almost more frightening than the anger and violence of moments ago.

“No!” Shane yelled, taking his face in his hands. “I loved you like a brother! Listen to me!” he said fiercely, his face close to Josef’s. “You know how I feel about you. You _know_. I would have been a terrible sire! Yeah, I know Maxie was a bastard,” he said anticipating the retort he knew was coming. “But you didn’t need a second sire; you needed a friend, a brother. You needed to stand on your own two feet and fight back; you wouldn’t be as strong as you are today otherwise! You would have leaned on me too much, and I would have let you.”

Silence for long moments. Then: “What am I, A Boy Named Sue?!”

Shane barked out a surprised laugh. “Does this mean you don’t hate me?”

Josef looked at him seriously again, and the look almost broke his heart. “You’re my sire.”

Shane pulled Josef's head down to his shoulder, holding him. “Oh, god…” It was alarmingly like Josef was a fledgling all over again.

“Is that so horrible?”

“It would be an honor to be your sire. I’m… I’ve always been proud of you, Josef. Always.”

They stayed like that, on the floor in each other’s arms, for a long time.

 

XXX

 

Eventually, the other nasty things in wait had to intrude on the brief period of limbo Josef was existing in. He was still feeling numb, which made the rest easier to get through.

“I never knew Sarah was a half breed. I thought her father was John Whitley.”

“So did he, I would assume,” Shane snorted. “I wonder who did do the deed… guess the poor bastard never even knew.”

The last thing Josef wanted to think about at the moment was Sarah’s mysterious paternal background. It was enough to deal with the possibilities ahead of him. “Sarah…” he began. “Do you think—“  He didn’t have to finish the thought.

“I don’t know!” Shane told him, his voice rough. “After all these years… it’s been a long time. I don’t know if she would wake up or if…if there would be any permanent… damage of any sort.”

Josef nodded. “I’d like you to be the one to…”

Shane slumped in final relief at the knowledge that things were going to be okay between them, eventually, somehow. If despite everything, Josef was asking him to be the one to feed Sarah his blood. “I’d be honored,” he said. “But take some time first, to prepare yourself. It’s going to be a rough time for both of you. If she wakes up, she’s going to think it’s 1955 and you’re Charles Fitzgerald. And that’s the best case scenario,” he admitted reluctantly. “No one would blame you if… if you decided the more merciful way was to… just let things be.”

Shane didn’t need to say more. There were times, somewhere in the deepest recesses of his heart, where Josef honestly couldn’t say if he would feel the same things for her now that he felt so many decades ago. Life had gone on; his life, not hers. Guilt, as Mick was fond of telling him, was a powerful motivator.

“Mick—“he said, thinking of his friend reminding him of the other issue waiting. “Shit, Beth!” He pulled out of Shane’s arms to stare at him. The thought of how Mick might have tried to turn her before this – and the consequences – horrifying to contemplate. It would have killed Mick.

“What about them?” Shane said, looking puzzled.

Josef looked at him like he had lost a few brain cells. “Beth! Thank god he hasn’t tried to turn her yet! He needs to know he won’t be able to do it alone.”

“Beth is a half breed?”

Josef stared at him in disbelief. “You’re trying to tell me you didn’t know?!”

Shane shook his head. “I never would have guessed. To be honest, she’s okay enough looking, but I have almost zero interest in her.” Which was a weird thing in itself, since Shane wasn’t known for being too discriminating in his sexual appetites and Beth was a perfectly fine looking woman.

“Almost zero?” Josef said skeptically.

“For myself, yeah. But I have to admit to a few fantasies… I might have had about how it would be hot to watch her and Sara…”

Josef grinned lecherously and gave Shane a playful but hard shove in the shoulder. “You’re such a dog!”

“Isn’t that what you respect most about me?”

“It’s the _only_  thing I respect about you,” Josef said with his snarkiness returning, and Shane grinned wider, even more relieved.

_If._   Like Shane was always saying, you couldn’t build your regrets on if. If he’d known the truth about his own turning, if he had known that half breeds couldn’t be turned the normal way, he might have recognized what was happening and been able to fix things at the time. But if he hadn’t kept his own secret from Shane, he also would have known before now. And how different would life have been for them all? Would he have even known Mick or Beth? It was too much to take in all at once. All he could do now was go forward. And it was probably a long time coming.

“Well,” Josef said, getting to his feet and offering Shane a polite hand up. “I didn’t realize I had meetings scheduled all evening. Send Mick in please, I believe it’s his turn again.”

 

**End of Chapter 10: Life Loves a Tragedy**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A Boy Named Sue, is a song recorded by Johnny Cash, about a man who named his son Sue before leaving the family, so that it would force him to learn how to fight and be tough.


	12. Till the End of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick gets the news about Beth's turning, and Josef has had enough. We find out how Sara reacts to the information.

  
_I know you know, our souls will be together till the end of time_  
 _You know I know, your love is gonna meet me on the other side_  
 _And should the angels come down and take my breath away_  
 _I love you’d be the last thing I’d ever say…_  
\--Last Breath, Bret Michaels

 

 

Mick, Beth, and Sara were sitting in the living room, trading occasional glances. Loud crashes could be heard once in awhile, even by human ears. Finally, Beth could stand it no more and spoke.

“What’s going on in there?” she asked Mick.

Mick shook his head, choosing to answer her question as if he had no prior knowledge of the situation. Not like he could say anything in front of Sara anyway, even if he’d been inclined to risk Josef’s wrath. “Many of the rooms in this place are vampire sound proof; that includes the study. We can hear the uh, crashes because they’re loud but I couldn’t hear voices even if I tried.”

Beth glanced at Sara. The girl was keeping silent, but it was obvious she was a bit ill at ease. “Do you think everything’s okay?”

“I think they can both take care of themselves, and I don’t think either one of them is killing the other,” Mick assured. Well, he was almost 99% sure anyway. He didn’t want to get involved in another vampire’s business, but being in love with a woman he wanted to spend eternity with himself, he could keenly understand what Shane might be going through right now.

Finally they heard a noise and turned to see Shane walking into the room. His expression was serious, and hinted at a difficult time, but he didn’t look devastated as Mick would have expected. It did make him uneasy when Shane just stood there looking at them for a moment.

“Is everything okay?” Beth asked, not one known for her patience.

Shane rubbed a hand over his face. “It will be. Mick, Josef needs to see you in the study. Actually… both of you,” he added, indicated Beth.

Whatever Mick had been expecting, it wasn’t that. The couple traded confused looks and got up to answer the summons.

Shane gave Sara a half smile. “Sorry to keep you out of the loop. We’ll have our own, private meeting in just a bit, okay?”

“Gee, I wouldn’t want to feel left out,” she quipped. “What’s going on?”

“Lots of shit. Lots and lots of shit.”

 

XXX

 

Mick entered the study tentatively, ahead of Beth rather than ushering her in first as his normal gentlemanly behavior would have dictated. He just didn’t know what he was going to find; there were some really weird vibes floating around in the air.

The study looked like a hurricane had hit it. Josef was sitting behind a desk that was completely bare of everything, the space around it littered with objects. Among the ruins he saw a laptop and several items he knew to be expensive antiques.

Josef’s eyes widened just slightly in surprise when he saw Beth as if he hadn’t been expecting her too, but he didn’t comment. He waved them toward the couch. “Have a seat.”

“Is everything okay, Josef?” Beth asked in a concerned voice, as she perched on the edge of the sofa.

“Everything’s hunky dory, why do you ask?” They glanced at each other again. “Hmm… I wonder where that expression came from?  Hunky dory.  We could look it up on etymology.com – oh, wait, no we can’t, my computer seems to be broken.”

Had Shane done this damage, when faced with the news about Sara? Was that causing Josef’s weird behavior and the note of displeasure in his voice? Josef looked up again, and Mick followed his gaze to see that Shane had joined them. He was leaning against the closed door, arms folded in front of him.

“I figured you might need some…support,” he answered Josef’s enquiring expression, shrugging.  A look passed between them that was undecipherable, but it wasn’t exactly animosity.

Okay, that shot down Mick’s theory about what happened. “Are you going to keep us in suspense?” Mick prodded. “Or tell us what’s going on?”

“You’ll have to excuse the mess,” Josef continued evading the subject. “My cleaning service doesn’t come in till tomorrow.”

“So you’re going to just leave everything till then?” Beth asked.

“What else would I do?” Josef seemed genuinely curious.

“Uh, clean it up?” she responded.

He gave her an incredulous look. “You expect me to clean it up myself?”

“Not everyone has people to do that kinda thing.” Shane piped in. “I clean my house.”

Josef looked at him like he was stark raving mad. “You clean your own house?!”

“Who the fuck else do you think does it?”

“You’re a vampire!”

Shane choked back a laugh. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?!”

Mick had the feeling the banter was being created to lighten Josef’s mood, or maybe a stalling tactic, but he was impatient. “Can we get back to the reason you called Beth and I in here?”

The change in Josef’s demeanor at the reminder almost made Mick wish he hadn’t spoken up. Josef closed his eyes for a moment as if pulling himself together. “I’ve had a lot of… surprising news tonight,” he said carefully. “First of all, I found out that Sarah Whitley is Sara Adams Great Aunt.” There was a gasp from Beth at the news. Josef got up from the desk and came around the front, leaning against it as if trying to be casual, but failing miserably. “Then I found out what I believed to be true for four hundred years, wasn’t. Shane… Turns out he’s not my…he’s my…”

Suddenly Josef bolted, heading for the door. “You know what? I can’t do this. I’m sorry but I have my own problems right now and I just can’t deal with everybody else’s tonight. You’ll have to tell them,” he said as he reached the door and Shane. He glanced back at Mick and whatever he saw seemed to agitate him further. “And I’m definitely not in the mood for any of his angsty whining right now.”

Mick stared at his friend, pole axed by the unprovoked words.

Shane took Josef’s shoulders. “It’s okay, I’ll deal with it. You go chill out. Get something to _drink_ ,” he urged. “Preferably fresh.”

Then Josef was gone and they were alone with Shane. The unease Mick had been trying to ignore was making itself known. He didn’t want to believe it, but obviously whatever was going on concerned them now. He refused to even try to put any of the pieces together, instead keeping his mind blank as he watched Shane pull a chair over closer to the couch and sit down.

Shane blew out a breath of air. “Sorry about that. He’s had a… a really rough night. He didn’t mean it.”

“What’s going on?” Beth blurted out, and Mick almost wanted to tell her to shut up. That whatever was going on, they didn’t want to know, didn’t have to know.

“It’s not _horrible_ news, I promise,” Shane assured. “It just takes some adjustment.  Josef and I share the same sire,” he told them. “We’ve always been more like brothers than friends.” He noted Beth’s surprise, and Mick’s lack of it. “You knew,” he stated.

Mick met his gaze, nodding slightly. “He told me.”

Shane folded his hands together in front of him. “When he told me about Whitley, I realized the whole truth had to come out. What he never knew was that he didn’t wake up after my sire tried to turn him. He was like Sarah. I had to feed him my own blood to bring him out of it. I never considered myself his sire but… he sees things differently.” Shane turned his attention to Beth. “The issue of sire is a Big Deal to vamps. It’s a bond unlike anything else in this world.”

Beth nodded her understanding, having dealt with the whole Mick/Coraline thing. She knew the bond existed even if you didn’t want it to.

“Why was he like Sarah?” Mick demanded, a cold sensation settling in his gut.

Shane gazed at him calmly. “The only thing that causes a turning to go like that is if the person being turned is a half breed.”

 _Vampires don’t faint. Vampires don’t…_ that was what Mick told himself, but he knew he’d lost touch with the room around him for a minute. When he was aware of it again, Beth was clutching his hand tightly and Shane was now crouched down on the floor in front of the couch, one hand on his arm and the other on his leg.

“Listen to me,” he was saying in a calming voice. “It’s not that bad. It’s—“

“Not that bad... she..."

“Shhh… Beth can be turned, just like Josef was. It will just take someone else to help out. Sort of like a ‘tag team turning’.” Shane smiled.

Vampires didn’t usually throw up either, it took a very extreme circumstance. Mick fought down the nausea. He knew if he didn’t keep a tight control on his emotions, well, he’d make Josef’s destruction look pristine. “What if it doesn’t?” He couldn’t look at Beth, and he was ashamed of that, but he kept his head down. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to leave here and just go off somewhere, but the knowledge that he would even consider taking off on Beth right now made him feel like a coward. He was supposed to be the strong one, he should be comforting her and he couldn’t even face her. What kind of a man was he?!

“Look at me, buddy,” Shane interrupted his self loathing in that same, soft voice. He took Mick’s chin and lifted his head. “It will be okay. I promise you. Trust me; I’ve been around a _long_ time.

Mick forced himself to look at Beth. He’d known all the long what he would see, and it was just as horrible as he’d imagined. It was worry – for _him_. And concern – for him. And love – for him. Her hand tightened on his in support. _We can get through this too_ , her expression said. _We can do anything together._   Mick felt tears prickle behind his eyelids. What would he do without her steadfast faith, her courage? Life would mean nothing.

“You mentioned you served in World War II,” Shane said, bringing his attention back to the older vampire. “You learn any French during that time?”

Mick stared, confused at the off topic comment but answered. “Between that and my first wife, some.”

“I know a little.  Just enough to find the local whorehouse.” Shane winked at them.

“Then we’re probably about even.” Mick glanced sideways at his wife, surprising himself by the hint of smile on his face. “Of course I wouldn’t know anything about any whorehouses.”

“Good answer,” Shane grinned. “How about you?” he asked Beth, getting a confused negative shake of her head. Then he turned his attention to Mick again. “I know it’s gonna be okay, as much as there are any guarantees in life. What other choice is there? When two people love each other, they do whatever they gotta do, because life’s not worth living otherwise.”

Mick had to acknowledge the truth of that.

“But if it eases your mind any… Je m'assurerai qu'aucun de vous deux ne souffrira..." _If something should go wrong, I’ll make sure neither of you suffer._

Mick’s eyes widened in shock as he mentally translated and realized what Shane was offering.  If Beth didn't survive it, Mick wouldn't either.  To have blissful peace, to be with Beth for eternity -- in one way or another.  He found himself touched at the vow. “Thank you.” What else could he say? With that, he felt some peace settle over him.

Beth was looking at them in consternation, none too happy with them talking in a language she didn’t understand.

“I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about, but you have time.”

“Maybe so, but I think we’re going to head on home now,” Mick told him. He had the sudden need to make love to his wife, in their home.

Shane nodded his understanding.

As they left the room, Beth paused, stopping Shane with a hand on his arm. “How’d you do that?” she asked.

“Do what?”

She gave him an impatient look as if sensing an evasion. “Calm him down so quickly like that.” Mick had taken the news way better than would be expected given his prior reactions.

Shane shrugged. “I’m good with people. When I want to be,” he admitted with a grin.

“It’s more than that,” she stated, her keen reporter sense picking up on something beyond her conscious grasp. “Is this something… vampire related?”

Shane looked at her for a long moment. “No. It’s not any special vampire ability.” With that firm but enigmatic answer, he walked away.

 

XXX

 

The house was quiet. Josef was nowhere to be seen and the St. John’s had left.

“Alone, at last,” Shane joked as he finally joined Sara in the living room. He walked over and took her hand, pulling her up from the couch. He led her out to the pool area. “We have to have a long talk. About Josef mostly, but…other stuff too.”

Josef especially. She needed to know about their complicated relationship, which had just gotten even more complex. They were the two most important people of his very long life, and there wouldn’t be any compromise in that quarter. His honor dictated no less. That being said, it wasn't going to be an easy conversation for him to have.

Shane sat down on one of the lounge chairs by the pool. He sighed. “I know you didn’t sign on for all this…”

And he’d never intended to dump all kinds of serious shit on her all at once. The wild child whose main priority had been to have fun and enjoy life, and he’d wanted to give her that for as long as possible. Unfortunately, it seemed the universe had other plans.

Sara made herself comfortable on his lap, facing him with her legs on either side of his. She rested her hands on his shoulders. “What did I sign on for? You. Whatever and everything that means.”

He kissed her, and then took both her hands in his, trying not to be too distracted by her proximity. It was something he wasn’t good at. Not getting distracted by her, that is. “Well, first of all I’ve got something to tell you about your family…and mine.”

"I _trust_  you," Sara told him.  "You should know that by now."  And no matter what might come, when she was with Shane she knew everything would be okay.  "Besides, you know I'm tough.  Is there anything I can't handle?"

"Forgive me for being an idiot sometimes," Shane asked.  "Sometimes I think you're too good to be true."

Sara stared at him in consternation, struggling to decide how to react at the compliment.  "Well...shit."

Beat around the bush with Sara Adams?  Hem and haw, make a whole dramatic episode out of it?  There was no need.  "Tonight I found out that your Great Aunt Sarah Whitley is the same Sarah Josef was in love with."

There was silence for just a beat, then...  "You're shittin' me!"  Shane shook his head.  "That's so weird!  Look, I've got goose bumps," Sara showed him her arm.  "No wonder he was acting so strange around me," she added as the light dawned.

"That's not the only reason," Shane admitted.  "Josef... is difficult."  He softened the words with a small smile.  "Especially with me.  There's so much history between us, and it doesn't get much more complicated than him and me."

"Good thing with _us_ it's so simple," Sara told him.  "It's like yin and yang."

Shane blinked.  It was extremely perceptive, considering she didn't even know the whole story yet.  He plowed on.  "Vampires are very different from humans.  We pass so well, it can be hard for them to conceive of _how_ different.  In a young vamp, like Mick, you can tell they still retain a lot of their human sensibilities."

Sara interupted him.  "Hey, if I'm this smart _now_ , can you imagine how brilliant I'm gonna be after a few hundred years?!"

Shane laughed.  Trust Sara to lighten any conversation with her refreshingly straightforward, brash style.   "Can't wait to find out," he admitted with a wink, kissing her nose.  The idea of more long, drawn out explanations, even with Sara, just didn't appeal.  "I'm tired of talking," he announced.  "And you're not gonna learn everything you need to in one night, and some of the secrets are Josef's too.  What would you say if I told you that my relationship with Josef includes a sexual side?"

Sara digested the revealation for a few moments.  "Hmm... Wow.  I'm not sure I expected _that_."  Another pause.  "Does it get boring, with women?  All those centuries?"

"You'll _never_ be boring," he assured her with a kiss.

"You must have had millions of lovers, in a thousand years."

"And in all that time, there are only two people who have been this special to me," Shane said in a low voice.

"I can live with that," she told him.  And what other choice was there, really?  Come what may.  "I don't need to say it because you know it, but you're the only person in my life who ever accepted me for who I am.  Let me be _me_.  There's no way I'm not going to do the same for you.  You don't know..." she was interupted by his mouth on hers.  “We deal with what we gotta deal with,” she’d told him when he let her up for air. “We do what we gotta do.”

"We fit pretty damn well," he told her.

"Understatement.  Speaking of 'fitting'..."

"Hmm?"

"Well, you did say you were tired of _talking_..."

"Did you have something better in mind?" Shane played dumb.

In answer, Sara swung herself off of him and slid out of her shorts and underwear.  The exhibitionist in Sara reveled in the thrill of throwing convention to the wind.  Sex in a public or semi-public place was a huge turn on that she was thoroughly enjoying.  She fingered herself to get ready, head thrown back in pleasure, as Shane watched with his eyes glazing over.  Then she was opening his pants, sinking down on him.  They both groaned in pleasure at the contact.  He grabbed her ass in his hands, and they began the dance of life.

There probably wasn’t one person back home who would accuse Sara Adams of being practical. Funny, how wrong so many people can be. When you’re faced head on with reality, it does no good to fight against it, deny it or spend time crying over it. Like Shane, Sara was prosaic about what life handed her. You accept it. You deal. Despite the unexpected turns life was taking and the walking complication that she’d gotten involved with, Sara wasn’t about to back down or back out. She accepted Shane as he was, even when that turned out to be so much more than she ever could have imagined three years ago.

Was there any question as to why he’d love her till the end of time?

 

**End of Chapter eleven: Till the End of Time**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. My apologies to anyone who actually knows French -- I just let MS Word do the translation for me so I have no idea if it's horrible or not.  
> 2\. I hope the end of the chapter wasn't too... uh, vague or whatever. Yeah I skipped over yet another long explanation of the situation. Besides, there are some things that are to be revealed *later* in the series, to do so now would spoil them.  
> 3\. So you think the shit is done hitting the fan? It's not even begun...


	13. No Disguise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it the calm in the eye of the storm, or is it the storm? Josef and Shane still have some issues to work though, I'm afraid...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Jayshay (Josef/Shane). It was originally written as a separate story as I had kept the slash stuff by itself when first posting to the Moonlight forums.

  
_What if it’s true?_  
 _What my heart says_  
 _What’ll I do_  
 _What if this feeling becomes hard to part with?_  
\--Jackson Browne, “Call It a Loan”

 

 

It would be dawn soon, almost time to retire to the freezer. Josef had been sitting in the dark in his wrecked study for a long time, not actually making an effort to think, just letting his mind drift. A lot of that he just spent staring into space. It was… calming though, this sitting and not thinking.

He didn’t want to think about Sarah, or Sara, or Shane, or even Mick and Beth. Normally he was the one with all the secrets, not the one who got slammed with several of them in one night. He needed to regroup, regain his footing. Who wouldn’t, after finding out that what you thought to be true about of very foundation of who you were was a lie – after four hundred years?  Or, had the truth been somewhere in the recesses of his mind, of his heart all along?  Is that where all the confusion came from, the uncertainty that Josef loathed? Despite it all, in this moment he felt an odd peace. It was a rare occurrence, and he wanted to savor it for just a little while, knowing it would be short lived.

The air displacement he could feel and barest whisper of sound was the only thing announcing his visitor. Even over the music playing low in the background, it was loud and clear to him; he could almost believe he felt it on a molecular level. Unaffected by that? Never.

Josef couldn’t help but smile. “You can’t sneak up on me, you idiot.”

Shane appeared behind his chair, mouth close to an ear. “Not trying to.” He put his arms around Josef from behind affectionately. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

“At the moment.” The moment would do.

“If you wanna talk…”

“Now, no.”

Josef leaned his head back onto Shane’s shoulder. They stayed that way in companionable silence for awhile as the minutes of eternity ticked by on his Rolex. Truth be told, he pitied humans. Time could be sweet when you knew it wasn’t slipping through your fingers like sand. He could almost imagine it didn’t exist at all. The eternal _now_.  A place Shane was always pimping.

“It’s been a rough night,” Shane offered finally.

“I guess I’m starting to see how Mick feels – he’s had a lot of shocks over the past several months.”

“Does that mean you aren’t pissed at him anymore?” Shane teased.

“I’m not pissed at anybody right now,” Josef said emphasizing the _anybody_.

“I’m glad.” Shane slid hands over Josef's chest, eliciting just a hint of a shiver. “That tape you’re listening to,” he began, finally commenting on the music. “It’s my band.”

“It is?!” Josef exclaimed in a mock shocked tone.

“Why are you listening to me?”

Shane was no doubt expecting something snarky. Instead, Josef covered one of the hands on his chest with his own, and didn’t answer at all. It was, ironically, over his heart. _Do you know you give your soul away in your voice when you sing?_   But he wouldn’t ever tell Shane that; the man might never sing another word. And the world would lose something very special.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me.”

“I never hated you. “ He knew he’d surprised Shane with his quick honesty.

“Yeah but I gave you a pretty good reason to.”

“Funny,” Josef mused. “You might have actually done the opposite.” He was surprised himself.

Like the inevitability of one second moving into the next, the hands eventually moved lower, one of them rubbing over his crotch. He closed his eyes as the arousal grew, pressing the hand into him harder to signal his desire to continue.

Shane knelt at the front of the chair, opening Josef’s pants and taking the growing erection into his mouth. Josef balled his fists to keep from grabbing the head that was working him so expertly.

Just when Josef thought Shane was going to get him off that way, he stood and removed his pants. A slow grin spread over Josef’s face. He wasn’t quite sure why it was hotter to do it only partially undressed than totally naked, but he totally enjoyed the picture. Him dressed except for his dick waving in the air; Shane wearing just a white tank top and a hard on.

Shane straddled his lap, taking both their erections in one fist and stroking. Josef’s hands slid under his ass, squeezing, and pushed a finger into him, feeling a slickness making the way easy. He’d come prepared.

Josef closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the pleasure. The restlessness grew with each stroke though, the disquiet running through him although he tried to banish it, and still wasn’t sure where it was coming from.

He opened his eyes and they met Shane’s. The other man could obviously read the change in them.  The pleasure taking a darker tone.  As usual.  The hand stilled its movements.

“Not _now_ ,” Shane whispered pleadingly.

“It’s an inconvenient time for you?” Josef asked archly. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your plans.”

“You won’t even give an inch, will you? “

“What exactly do you want?” Josef asked curiously.

“Right now? To get fucked. You had your turn.”

“Been awhile?” Josef asked knowingly, slipping his finger into Shane's ass again. “Nothing like a good, hard, male fuck, is there?” He pushed deeper, stroking the prostate, watching Shane’s face contort in reaction.

“Why—" Shane paused to catch the breath that the intimate touch had chased. “Why are you being so difficult lately? I mean you always are, but more than usual.”

What _was_ wrong with him, lately? “You don’t want to know,” Josef admitted, positioning his cock at the entrance to Shane’s body and guiding him down. “I want things I can’t have.”

They both groaned at the contact, and there was a few seconds of adjustment before either could speak again.

“You want everything,” Shane declared.

“I want you,” Josef said and sank fangs into the other vamp’s neck.

“Fuck!” Shane yelled from reaction to the pain/pleasure and the words.

“You want to hear it, fine, hear it.”

Shane shook his head in denial, locked into the pleasure still. “You don’t know what you want, not really.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Josef snarled warningly. It was freaky how quickly their relationship could go from calm and affectionate back to battle again.

“I thought maybe this time we could just enjoy…”

“We don’t always get what we want, do we?” Josef challenged, even as his hand wrapped around Shane’s erection and began stroking.

Shane, who always tried to back down and be consolatory with Josef, threw down the gauntlet. Maybe it was guilt that had driven him after all? And the hurtful words they’d so carefully avoided till now where no longer being denied their due. The venom spewed forth from both sides, unchecked. Truth, poison or freedom? “You just can’t leave well enough alone, can you?”

“By whose definition is it _well enough_?”

Shane shook his head. “You manipulate everyone. You say you love me, but you can’t even be real and—“

“Real?” Josef spat. “You don’t want that. You play your games too, make sure I don’t say anything you don’t want to hear.”

Shane separated his body from Josef’s and stood. “I just wanted to share a close moment and you—shit, why the hell should I want to be with you? You’re an obnoxious, selfish, manipulating prick! You know what? Sara accepts and loves me for who I am – she doesn’t get off on torturing me for who I can't be!”

“Fine. Go get her to fuck you then.” Josef’s foot connected with his chest, sending him flying across the room.

Less than the blink of an eye later, Josef was on the floor with Shane’s body holding him down. He grabbed Josef’s face in his hands and held tight, refusing to let him look away. “You want honesty so much but you can’t give it. Fine. You already know. I’ve never pretended otherwise. I love you – you are one of only two people in the entire fucking universe I’ve loved like this in over 900 years. I would protect you and die for you. You’re under my skin and in my blood. I want to be close to you, I don't want us to fight, I love the sex. I need you, I do, you know there are things I can only come to you with, things only you can make me feel…”

“But?” Josef pushed.

“But I will never be _in_  love with you. You know that, you’ve always known that. I can’t change it.”

“And now I have to share you.” The quite words echoed in the room. _For the first time in four hundred years,_  was unspoken but heard nonetheless.

“Oh christ, Jay-Jay...” Shane dropped his head down, resting it against Josef’s in the stark aftermath of words that never wanted to be said out loud yet demanded to be. One, not wanting to cause pain, the other knowing the words being spoken would destroy any spell of pretense.

“We go whole decades without even seeing each other sometimes,” Shane pointed out.

“Maybe I’m…regretting…certain things.”

“Regrets don’t do anyone any good. We can’t change the past. Just give it a chance,” Shane implored. “Maybe it can be _better_.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Shane whispered against the skin of his cheek.

“That I wasn’t different, that I was too obnoxious for you to—“

“No!” Shane cut him off in an anguished voice. “No, no, no, no. It wasn’t that.  It’s not _you_.  It’s who I am. I can’t change that. It’s just me. Sarah Whitley was in love with you. She was willing to give up everything, her family, her life, to be with you. Because you _are_ worth it.”

“Dumb move on her part,” Josef managed.

Shane slapped him lightly on the cheek. “I think she made a great choice, and is a lucky woman. And that story’s not over yet. Trust me.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Josef managed to joke, knowing it wasn’t at all amusing. Catharsis? He wasn’t sure yet. He felt slightly numb and definitely drained. And when you’re drained you need to recharge. What other choice was there? He curled a hand around the back of Shane’s head to pull him in for a kiss.

When the kiss was over, Shane regarded him with a wry expression. “You still want to, ah…”

Josef smiled and jumped to his feet. He extended his hand to help Shane up, for the contact rather than actual help. Then he led him through the darkened, quiet house into the master suite.

 

_Oh, if I’d only known_   
_What your heart cost_   
_Can we call it a loan?_   
_And a debt that I owe, on a bet that I lost?_

 

When the door was closed behind them, their arms wrapped around each other and their mouth’s met. The kisses felt more like comfort than anything else, although the fire was still there, banked, waiting to be fed again.

When they broke apart, Shane reached to take off his tank top. Josef stopped him. “Keep it on.” He backed Shane up to the bed and gently pushed him down. Then he pulled his belt out of his pants and tossed it aside, kicking off his shoes at the same time.

“I definitely like seeing those stuffy business clothes coming off,” Shane told him, his eyes saying he was enjoying the simple show.

“Stuffy?” Josef raised an eyebrow at him. “One shirt cost more than your whole wardrobe.”

Shane shrugged, making a circling motion with his finger, signaling him to continue disrobing.

“Don’t think you’re in charge here,” Josef told Shane with an impish grin, but complied with the request. He unbuttoned his shirt but kept it on. The pants and underwear came off together. When he was naked, he casually strolled over to the nightstand, aware of the eyes on him the whole way. He grabbed the tube of lube from the drawer and coated his cock with a generous amount, drawing out the task purposely.

When Shane’s tongue slipped out to lick his bottom lip, his cock jumped in his hand in reaction. Tossing the tube in the direction of the open drawer, he crawled onto the bed in between Shane’s legs. He spread them apart and pushed them to his chest, then sank slowing into the waiting body, scrutinizing every emotion on Shane’s face with an avid concentration.

Maybe it was because of the emotional bloodletting, or he’d dropped some barrier along the way that he wasn’t quite aware of. Anger and pain had always bounced back and forth between them, maybe now honesty was. Whatever the reason, staring at Shane’s face he suddenly felt a wave of cold clarity washing over him, and it was like a blind man given sight. A thought came to him, startling like a shot from a silver bullet.

“I have a question for you?” he found himself saying.

Shane’s expression said, _now_? eyes bemused and passion-glazed.

“How many men have you let…” Josef finished the thought with his body, slamming into Shane hard enough to force a cry from his lips.

Shane’s expression answered before his voice. “Only you.”

It looked like his revelations weren’t over yet, either. And he realized Shane’s motives tonight weren’t just his own pleasure. It was a gesture, an offering. It was for Josef.

“In the world I came from, just the suggestion and you were legally justified to commit murder,” Shane told him.

“I love the sexual revolution,” Josef declared, reaching down to kiss him. They both groaned into the kiss as their tongue’s tangled, and Josef rocked into the body under him. He sucked on Shane’s tongue, steadfastly resisting all the other man’s attempts to get him to speed up the pace and pushing his hand away every time he attempted to grab his own erection.

“You’re still torturing me,” Shane complained of the slow fucking when he’d managed to tear his mouth away from Josef’s. “Wanna come now, god please let me come now…”

Finally taking pity, Josef picked up the pace, pounding into him. His fingers curled around Shane’s cock to help bring him off.

“Oh god, yes. Deeper. Deeper,” he begged.

Josef complied, changing the angle to better nail Shane’s prostate with every powerful thrust. He watched Shane in the throes of passion; had he ever really watched him before? There was no one else Shane shared this part of himself with, no one he could or would.

“I understand now…” Josef whispered, as the sheer depth of it hit him. Could he love this man, this beautiful man who gave everything he was capable of giving? He was the only man who would ever touch Shane like this; no one else in the universe could give him that. He also realized, now, why Shane didn’t want to be his sire. He needed Josef. It wasn’t just Josef who needed a brother, a friend, a lover – an equal.

_Oh my god…_ he thought to himself. It would have changed the whole dynamic. He was lucky to have this relationship with Shane, to have him in his life, to have known him and been allowed so close to him.

Drunk from the power it gave him knowing this, not a manipulative power as was his typical, but a feeling of confidence and pride, he gave Shane what he needed to send him over the edge. Without warning, he stopped all movement.

“What the---“ Shane nearly screamed, grabbing for him to try and pull him closer.

Baring his fangs, Josef complied, pushing closer, impossibly close considering their position, and sank his teeth into the side of Shane’s neck. Shane cried out his release, and the muscles that tightened almost painfully on Josef’s cock and the scent and taste of his sire’s blood was all he needed to follow.

“I’m sorry,” Josef whispered as the pleasure died down and he could talk again.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Shane told him.

Josef winced. “For the way I’ve treated you sometimes, yeah I do. I understand more now.”

Shane didn’t look like he knew quite what to say to that. “I’m glad,” was what he settled on.

“Maybe you were right,” Josef said later, after he’d slipped from Shane’s body and they’d recuperated.

“About what?” Shane asked, running his hand through Josef’s short hair.

“Maybe it can be better.”

There was a stunned pause from his bedmate. “I’d like that,” Shane finally answered.

“So would I,” Josef admitted.

He’s spent so much time wanting things he couldn’t have that he’d neglected to appreciate what he had.

And that was a lot.

 

_In the evening when you see my eyes_   
_Looking back at you, no disguise_   
_I’m not sure who you think you’ll see_   
_I’m just hoping you’ll still know that it’s me…_

 

**end of chapter 13: No Disguise**

 


	14. The Prophesy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one chapter is probably the single most vital part of any story in the entire 15 stories in the universe so far. This is it, folks. THE chapter. The one all the other stories have been leading up to. We find out what it's *all* been about.

 

  
_Though you have been chosen to begin_  
 _And yet you must be worth of the prophesy_  
 _But seek and you shall find your destiny…_  
\--Under the Rose, Kiss

 

The house was full of people and vampires again. Saturday evening dawned rainy and overcast, keeping the guests indoors. Josef had no particular desire to socialize yet, so he spent most of his time in the study. But there were things that needed to be done, and Shane had called a big meeting. Another meeting. Just what he needed. There was too much to think about and not enough solitude.

Surrendering to the inevitable, Josef ventured out of his sanctuary. The first person he encountered was Mick, helping himself to a drink at the bar.

“Pour me one of those, will ya?” Josef said with feeling, standing next to his friend.

“Been a hell of a month, huh?” Mick commented, handing him the drink.

It irked Josef that he was now able to empathize with Mick so keenly. Vampires like him, especially of his age, should be above all that. “I might be able to identify with that,” he conceded, dropping a hand onto Mick’s shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“I’m…okay,” Mick answered, as if he wasn’t quite sure or maybe was just surprised to find it true.

Like a dose of medicine Josef decided to just get the unpleasantness out of the way (not that he remembered what medicine was like, but he was well versed in 400 yrs. of popular culture and human phrases). “Look uh, I’m sorry about what I said last night. I wasn’t myself.” Not that he had returned from his little trip yet, but he decided to keep that info close to the vest for now.

“I understand,” Mick said, and he could tell the man sincerely meant it.

Mick was a good friend, really sweet… Josef was taken aback by his sudden sentimentality. The extent to which he still wasn’t himself was alarming. _Get a grip, Konstantin_ , he told himself sternly. He downed his drink in one gulp and handed the glass to Mick, wordlessly requesting a refill.

“Good thing you’re a vamp,” Mick remarked mildly, handing a full glass back to him.

“That’s what I always say,” Josef quipped, feeling a bit of his equilibrium returning.

Only to be dashed again by Mick’s next words. “Beth and I were wondering… we never had a chance to ask Shane about it last night, but in light of what we found out, does this mean there’s a chance that your Sarah—“

“Fifty three years is a long time,” he cut in sharply. “But yeah. There’s a chance.” Was she his Sarah? After all these years, was he still her Charles? Would he get the chance and/or have the courage to find out?

It was Mick’s turn to drop a comforting hand onto Josef’s shoulder. “We’ll be there for you, whatever happens,” he promised.

Josef wanted to shrug the too-caring hand off, but didn’t have the energy so he just left it there. God, if that was some kind of pity he was going to lop the idiot’s head off before the night was out! That would just be the last straw.

“There’s something else we wanted to say, uh to ask you actually,” Mick began hesitantly.

_Great, there’s more_ , Josef thought to himself. _Where’s my sword??_

“We wanted to ask you if you’d be the one to… to help with her turning. When the time comes,” he clarified.

Josef gaped at him, open-mouthed. There were other ways it could be done, medical draining rather than vampire hands-on, they must have considered that, being that a love turning was an intimate and private thing and the issue of where the sire bond would be was a complicated one… “I’d… I’d be honored,” he finally managed. “On one condition.”

“What?” Mick asked with a bit of trepidation.

Josef smiled faintly. “I’ll be the one to kill her. You the one to bring her back to life.”

To his consternation, Mick hugged him then, right in front of the bar. And didn’t let go right away, either. He’d already had a version of this conversation, with Shane. He was sad to note it hadn’t been this moving. Shane had come to him earlier and told him in no uncertain terms that, while he’d be there just in case he was needed, it would be Josef’s blood Sarah received if she got any at all. That after all these years his blood was obviously pure enough again, so a superstitious fear wasn’t enough reason to do to her basically the same thing that had been done to Josef himself. He understood his bro—his sire’s reasoning. If he could finally wake her up, himself, it would go a long way towards easing some of his guilt about what happened.

Funny how some vampire wounds took even longer to heal than human ones.

 

XXX

 

How long ago was it that Josef was bemoaning his lack of family to Mick? It must have been just days, but felt like a lifetime already. And having lived many lifetimes, he was familiar with how they felt. Obviously there had been something else going on with him then, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it now.

It was with pride that Josef found himself presenting Margaret Turner to Shane Alexander.

“This is Margaret Turner,” Josef told him. “She’s only been a vampire for a few years, but she’s already proved very capable and independent,” he boasted. “This is Shane Alexander. My sire.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Margo told Shane.

“You too, Margaret. I see the family resemblance,” Shane joked.

“Call me Margo,” she told him. “I’m sorry we couldn’t meet before now.”

“Yeah, I heard you and your husband were on a second honeymoon. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” she beamed. “Did Josef tell you the story?”

“He did. Very romantic. Sad, but it had a happy ending. That’s all that really counts, isn’t it?”

Margo slipped her arm briefly through her sire’s. “Thanks to Josef, it did. We both were there to see our little girl get married…” She dabbed self-consciously at her eyes with a tissue. “Even talking about it still gets me weepy. Let me go get Aldo, I’m sure he’d like to say hello.” She disentangled herself and went off in search of her husband.

Shane reeled Josef in with a hand behind his neck before he could escape back to the bar. He pulled Josef’s head close. “We’ve made up, right? Can we please, _please_ just try to get along better?” he asked in a low tone.

“I want to,” Josef admitted. It wasn’t the first time, but then maybe he wasn’t the only one who was insecure. It was an odd knowledge; new, uncertain of itself.

“Let’s just make a pact right now then, to just _try_.”

“Okay, yes. Do you want to swear it in blood?” Josef quipped, embarrassed because they were in public, although their voices were pitched low.

“You know what? Sara’s not the problem, okay? She just came into the picture. It’s easy to blame her but let’s not. It’s us.”

There were about a million snarky, sarcastic comments Josef Kostan (and Konstantin, and Fitzgerald, and…) could make to that. A few more appropriately contrary gestures. There were even half dozen or so genuine ones. He simply nodded his agreement. “I’m tired,” he said, surprising Shane by pulling him closer. He rested his forehead against one shoulder and tried to gather some energy. “I want to hit the freezer early and sleep for twelve hours. Can we get this meeting over with, so I can do that?”

Shane nodded, and broke away with one last caress of hand to cheek. “Rally the troops,” he quipped, heading for the study.

Josef looked up… and directly into Sara Adam’s eyes. She seemed to have a faint smile on her face, but he had no idea what it meant. He was aware that Shane had filled her in on some stuff the night before as well, but not the extent of it. What she needed to know, was all Shane had said. And Josef hadn’t asked for elaboration. Just how much had he told her??

Josef went off in search of just one more drink before the big meeting, ignoring his shaking hands and mourning the fact that all the vamp-shine was long gone.

 

XXX

 

“This is the worst week I’ve had in a very fucking long time,” Josef said to the assembled people in the study. Probably since 1955 in fact. He was in his usual spot behind his desk, and it had been neatly put back into place, complete with a brand new notebook computer. That was another thing about Shane… when you were around him you started unconsciously imitating him. Josef wasn’t squeamish about using cuss words, but he normally wasn’t one to swear like a sailor.

“I’ve had much worse,” Mick said, his expression turning brighter when he absorbed the truth of it, that his latest wasn't the worst by far.

“I’m happy for you,” Josef quipped.

“Are we ready?” Shane asked, looking around the room.

There was a chorus of affirmatives and nods from the group: Mick, Beth, Aldo, Margo, Sara, and Josef.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Shane said, pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels. He perched on the edge of Josef’s desk. “As some of you well know, I’m not one who likes getting involved in other people’s shit.”

Josef had to admit, he liked the way Shane started his meeting. Although personal honesty required him admit that he was the opposite; he loved being in the middle of things. Under normal circumstances, he much preferred taking control of their shit to dealing with his own. He was better at it, too. Too bad this wasn’t normal circumstances.

“But after last night, I realized I had no choice,” Shane continued. “And despite that, I’ve never been one to ignore responsibility when it falls upon me.” Which explained why the R&R bad boy had also made a good Sheriff. “So I had a pow-wow with Josef earlier, and got all the information he had. Now I’m going to share with you what I know.”

“Do we need to brace ourselves?” Mick wanted to know; he was met with nervous laughter from the others.

“It depends, I guess. On how much stock you put in precognition.”

“In _what_?” Aldo said incredulously.

“I knew one of the Pythia’s.” At the blank looks that greeted Shane's declaration, he elaborated. “An Oracle at Delphi.” Now amazed gazes stared at him from around the room. He shook his head in amusement. “I didn’t say I was alive during that time, I said I _knew_ a vampire who _used_ to be an oracle at Delphi.”

The Pythia was the name given to the priestesses who presided over the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi, in ancient Greece. Supplicants travelled to Delphi from all over, to hear the prophesies.

“That’s… wow,” Beth said, having apparently been unable to come up with a more suitable adjective.

Josef smirked. “I hear they were sucking happy gas in there.”

Shane shrugged. “I’m not here to debate whether or not psychedelics produce hallucinations or true visions.”

“They say Francis Crick was high on LSD when he discovered the structure of DNA,” Sara volunteered. Everyone looked at her, and she glared at them as if to say, “ _what_?!”

Shane smiled slightly. “Maybe he was.  But Pythia was a vampire, and not high on anything when she told me about this prophesy. Let me say right up front, I dismissed it at first. And I basically forgot about it for centuries. But the shit that’s been going on around here lately has me wondering. And since it affects everyone in this room to some extent, I felt you had a right to know and decide for yourselves whether to believe or not.”

The little coincidence that Pythia happened to be the same vamp age as Shane was now, when she told him about it, was something he chose to dismiss as unimportant. What meaning could it possibly have?

“So what is this prophesy?” Aldo asked in his no-nonsense, lawyer way.

“It concerns half breeds.” That perked up the attention of most of the room. He glanced away a moment, avoiding meeting anyone’s eyes. “There’s a fact you may not know about them. This isn't prophesy, but don’t ask me how I know it to be fact because I won’t tell you. They weren’t an accident. They were originally created on purpose. Cross bred.”

“What?! Why!” Margaret demanded.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Mick said, surprising the others. “Well, it is when you think about it. Why is that sort of thing usually done?”

Shane nodded to Mick. “To create a new species, one that had all the benefits of being vampire with none of the drawbacks. Super-human strength, a life span measured in centuries – but less or no reliance on blood, ability to tolerate sunlight. Stuff like that. Needless to say, it didn’t work out that way. There are some differences… but not enough to be of any great advantage.”

“We’ll need to have a little talk about those differences,” Beth told him archly.

“So the experiment was forgotten, HB’s relegated to the realm of legend. Except the Oracle told me… she told me that one day in the future, from the half breeds will come a new race of human. They will be called the New Breed.”

“Holy crap.” Sara commented.

“Well said,” Josef told her.

“So how does that apply to us exactly?” Beth asked.

Josef shook his head at her, disappointed. “Use that famous reporter brain of yours.”

“The half breeds will mate with the vampires, and eventually the species will evolve into the NB’s,” Shane explained.

“That means…” Beth began, afraid to further fill in the blanks.

“That means there’s a good chance you can expect a little bundle of joy at some point in your future. If you believe the prophesy.”

“And what made you decide to take this prophesy more seriously now?” Aldo asked, wanting to see how much fact there was amidst the speculation.

“With all the incidents around here lately of HB’s showing up – something that’s always been extremely rare, and all connected somehow… I can’t help but be suspicious. Especially since they seem to be… changing, too.”

“Changing how?” Margo asked, glancing at her daughter.

“I had absolutely no clue Beth was a half breed until Josef told me,” Shane said. “And even now, there’s nothing, no sense of it whatsoever. That’s odd. Good, but odd. It means anyone in the “know” would still not realize what she is. Safer, for her.”

Mick looked stunned – but, as his wife noted, not unhappy at all, if the smile hinting at his lips ever since the words ‘bundle of joy’ had been uttered was indication. “If what you’re staying is true, that would mean we might end up directly causing the creation of a whole new breed of human being.”

“Heady stuff, huh?”

Josef added,  “Of course now that you know, you can choose to try and change the future.”

“I’m not sure I believe in all this craziness,” Aldo the practical lawyer voiced his opinion.

Shane shrugged. “I just felt that in light of everything going on with you guys, you had a right to know what I heard. Now in case it’s true, and for the protection of your loved ones and all the other HB’s out there, I suggest you treat this as the biggest secret you’ve ever kept in your life. There are plenty of vampires who would not want to see a superior race of humans threatening their place on the food chain, and they might just do _anything_ to prevent it.”

Everyone was quiet as the reality of that threat sunk in.

“What about the cure?” Mick asked. Not that he cared at all anymore, but it was a puzzle he’d been wrestling with ever since Aldo had first walked into his office six months ago.

“That’s another reason to keep things quiet,” Shane agreed.

“No, I mean, how does the cure work? I’ve been, I mean, uh,” he glanced around the room, blushing. “Just curious. Obviously just draining an HB alone doesn’t ‘cure’ vampirism.” If it did, Josef would have become human again in 1955.

Shane grinned, finally putting the pieces together as he remembered Mick asking him about the need to bite during sex. “There’s more to the cure than just that,” he agreed. “But I have no idea what the actual formula is, nor do I want to know. I don’t even know if it’s really permanent. That being said, I’m pretty sure you--I mean, any vampire can partake of HB blood occasionally without being worried about “turning human.” He grinned again at Mick’s embarrassment. “From what I understand there are a few temporary side effects.” He remembered Max bitching about them for a few weeks.

“That’s why—“Josef began, cutting off his words abruptly and keeping his mouth firmly closed.

“The prophesy _is_ the cure,” Sara philosophized. Her eyes met Shane’s, and he touched his lip with a finger, trying to look thoughtful to the others while getting the message to her to discontinue that line of discussion. A look passed between them that seemed to mean something but was indecipherable to the others present.

“A doctor or scientist should be looking into this whole thing,” Margo said. “It’s too important to leave to just speculation from us…”

Shane shuddered so obviously at her words that everyone noticed.

“That’s a bad idea, from a strategic and security perspective,” Josef told her. “I know I’m paranoid but I can’t see trusting this knowledge to anyone who doesn’t have a personal interest in keeping a loved one safe. I’ve seen too much betrayal in my four hundred years…”

“Agreed,” Aldo said firmly, making it known that his first priority was protecting his daughter, even if he wasn’t certain of the validity of the threat. “Until and unless someone like that comes along and there is overwhelming evidence of their trustworthiness, it doesn’t leave this room. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” everyone echoed.

“And if another HB comes along and needs our help?” Beth asked.

“Need to know basis?” Mick suggested.

“Decision by committee,” Aldo added.

“Sounds like a plan,” Shane decreed.

And so, those present in the room that day became the Committee, entrusted with the biggest secret in vampire history and sworn to protect the knowledge of the prophesy from those who would exploit it and the innocent for their own evil reasons.

Everyone filed out of the room silently, their minds heavy with the business of processing all the implications of the huge task they’d undertaken that night. Only Shane and Sara remained behind. The door closed on the sound proof room and they were alone.

Sara slid her arms around his waist. “So what was all that about?”

He knew without words that she was referring to earlier, when he’d silenced her speculation that the prophesy coming true would be a kind of cure, in a way.

Returning the embrace, Shane looked down at her and uttered just one soft word, yet it sent chills up her spine.

“Extinction.”

 

_…and we join the list of extinct species_  
\--Josef Kostan, “No Such Thing As Vampires”

 

**End Chapter fourteen: The Prophesy**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So now hopefully you understand why I call my vamp/humans half breeds and not Dhampires.  
> 2\. And YES, there are still some secrets left to reveal. Eventually…


	15. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip is finally winding down. Shane has the "freshie conversation" with Sara, Mickbeth talk about what the prophesy means for them, and Josef and Shane manage to have some fun.

  
_On a mountain high somewhere_  
 _Where only heroes dare_  
 _Stand the stallion and the mare_  
 _We have been and we shall be_  
 _Each other’s destiny_  
 _One another’s odyssey…_  
\--Odyssey, Kiss

 

The house was quiet again. The guests had left pretty quickly ( _have to remember that as a way to clear a room_ …), Josef true to his word, was already in “bed.” Shane and Sara were finally staying at the house, Shane having decided to remain in L.A. for another day or so, just to make sure Josef would be okay.

The couple was settled into the guest wing, lounging on the bed. Sara channel surfed, her head on Shane’s shoulder.

“So,” she began, only part of her attention on the stations flying by. “What do you _really_ think?”

“About?”

Sara punched him in the arm. “The prophesy. Do you think it’s true?” She put down the remote, having settled on one of the audio music stations.

Shane shrugged. “Maybe it is, and maybe it isn’t. I know one thing: I’m not going to waste energy worrying about it.”

“Is that why you didn’t tell them about the extinction part?”

“You know as well as I do that it’s stupid to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. It would be plain crazy to make your present miserable focusing on an unknown future. I don’t believe in playing God, and trying to change the future is a fool’s game. How do you know that you even can, no matter what you try? Maybe the universe will do what it’s going to do no matter what. Or maybe you do something thinking it’s going to stop the events from happening when it’s really setting it up to happen instead. Or maybe you do change the future – but you make it much worse.”

Sara nodded her agreement. “Kinda like how I feel about all the stuff I’ve found out the past couple of days."

Shane regarded her thoughtfully. “About that… Nobody would have blamed you if you hadn’t taken it all so well.”

“What am I, stupid?” It was a rhetorical question so he didn’t answer, just grinned at her. “There’s only one choice when faced with reality: you deal with it. That would be like saying “I want the sky to be purple, and refusing to accept the fact that it’s blue. A waste of energy.”

Not having any words to express what he was feeling, Shane lifted her chin and kissed her instead.

When they broke apart, Sara pointed to the TV, where “Lucky” by Melissa Etheridge was playing. “I wanna see how lucky, lucky can be. No matter what life throws at us, I wanna grab all the adventure and fun out of it we can.”

“Do you wanna live shockingly?” he asked, referring to another line in the lyrics.

“Is there any other way?” she returned.

“Then I think you’ve come to the right place,” he said with a playful grin, moving to cover her with his body.

“You think you got something that’ll shock me? Bring it on, boy.”

“I love a challenge…” he murmured before closing the distance between them. He rubbed his body against hers like a cat. “Are you wet for me, baby?” he whispered.

She laughed. “I always am, can’t you tell?”

Shane’s eyes darkened in passion. “Yeah. I can.” She was thoughtfully wearing a thin nightgown that opened with buttons down the entire length of the front; he thoughtfully began unbuttoning them instead of ripping them off.

“And when did you start noticing that?” she teased, starting to help him with the buttons, her foot finding his leg and rubbing against it. It coincidentally opened her thighs wider, a fact which wasn’t lost on Shane. “Don’t want to answer?” she asked a moment later when he didn’t respond.

“Huh?” he said distractedly, having momentarily forgotten the question. “Oh. Uh, I think I’ll take the fifth on that.”

“Chicken.”

“I’m all _cock_ , baby,” he told her with an irrepressible grin, pushing out of his sweat pants and kicking them off the bed.

As an avoidance technique, it worked wonders. As he pulled her to him by the legs and slid into her, she too forgot the question.

 

XXX

 

“Freshies,” Shane said out of the blue awhile later.

“Huh?”

“Since we’re staying here at the house, there’s something I need to explain to you. You’ll probably be seeing a lot of women around. Maybe recognize them from the party.”

“You mean all those drop dead gorgeous model types that were overrunning the place?” she asked.

“They’re freshies.”

“And a freshie is?”

And Shane found himself having another conversation he didn’t want to be. “Well, you know vampires drink bagged blood, and also get it straight from the source.”

“Ah – FRESHie,” she said, picking right up on it. “So they’re here to provide their blood.”

“Yeah, uh, Josef has about a dozen or so on staff.”

“Staff. You mean they get paid for it? So they’re kinda like hookers.”

“Well, no, not really. I don’t think that’s a very good analogy. Not all freshies get paid, but yeah, some of them accept recompense. Not so much different from selling your blood to a blood bank or donating to the Red Cross, so I don’t know that I’d compare it to hooking.”

“But you said some of them don't get paid?”

“Some….they just like the sensations, and being around vampires.”

“So they’re in it for the rush, the experience. Like groupies. I guess I can kinda see what you mean then. ”

“Well… not really like groupies…” Shane denied, realizing it was going to be just as difficult to explain as he’d feared.

“Is sex ever involved?”

“Er… look, Josef’s relationship with his freshies is his business so I couldn’t answer that. In general, it sometimes is.” Shane did grin slightly despite his growing embarrassment. “Yes, he does have sex with women. Human _and_ vamp.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Well I figured _that_ out. Do these freshies ever fall in love with the vamps they work for? Do they hang around hoping he’ll fall in love with them too, like some groupies?”

“They aren’t really like groupies, okay. I mean, there’s more to it than that, many of them live here together, but also have lives outside of the, uh, duties.”

“So it’s more like a harem. Josef’s little harem.”

“Harem. Um….“ Shane ran a hand through his hair in frustration. See, this was why he hadn’t wanted to have this conversation with Sara.

“I’m just trying to 'get' what these freshies are, to understand.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to find a category to stick them into.”

“Or maybe I’m right and it just makes you uncomfortable to admit it,” Sara countered. “Any time you’ve got a gaggle of chicks together, sharing a guy, you’re gonna have these issues. Falling in love, competing, jealousy. It’s inevitable.”

“Look -- it’s all handled very professionally, and the freshies are carefully selected.”

“Okay, so we’re back to hookers again.”

Shane banged his head back against the headboard. _I warned Josef. This is why I didn’t want Sara near the freshies._

“Does every vampire have a harem of freshies?” Sara wanted to know.

“It’s not a—no, they don’t,” Shane answered, getting more flustered with every second the conversation continued. “Do you see me with one?”

“Ah, I’m glad you mentioned that…” she began with a teasing grin.

“I’m not,” he actually whined. “Josef could probably explain this better than I can, why don’t you ask him?” Shane was trying to divert her as well.

“Why, so he can give me a wonderful lengthy explanation that makes perfect sense – until much later when I start thinking about it and realize it was a load of gold plated bullshit?”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you knew him so well.”

“Does Mick have a harem? I can’t see Beth liking that idea.”

“Mick doesn’t do fresh. He sticks to buying it from the supplier. And it’s not… I mean we…”

“It feels good, I happen to know that, remember. Hmm… this reminds me of that Clinton scandal. You know, it wasn’t sex because it wasn’t intercourse.”

“Are you refusing to understand on purpose?” Shane asked suspiciously.

“I’m just calling it as I see it sweetheart, as always. If it’s not, you’re gonna have to do a better job of explaining to me. Are they hookers, groupies, or a harem, that’s all I’m trying to figure out. I’m not getting all moral on your ass.”

Suddenly Shane had a brilliant idea. He knew exactly what to say. “Female vamps have _male_ freshies, too,” he told her.

“Oooh… they do? Cool...” Intrigued, she silently pondered that idea in detail.

For a while, Sara was silent, and Shane began to hope the conversation was over. Unfortunately, his hope was short-lived.

“So, that erotic component to the biting and drinking blood… Is gonna be there whether you’ve tapped a vein of the opposite sex or the same sex. I mean, if the lines are blurred there, I can see it being easier to take that next step into something sexual than it would be for humans to overcome sexual conditioning,” Sara said with her usual quick grasp of a situation. “I think I get that part now.”

Shane looked up at the ceiling plaintively. “Help me.”

 

XXX

 

The glow from the bedside lamp cast warm yellow highlights over Mick’s naked skin as Beth straddled his legs. His body was begging to be touched, and she wasn’t about to deny it.

“You look like you’re in need of some good loving,” she told him, hands caressing his chest.

His hands came up to rest on her hips. “You know, in my day, ladies weren’t quite so forward,” he teased.

She arched her eyebrow at him. “Are you complaining? Because I can…” she moved as if to get up, unsurprised when his grip tightened like steel.

“I am definitely not complaining.” He waved a hand airily. “Carry on.”

Beth laughed. She intended to do everything in her power (and that was quite a bit if she didn’t say so herself) to keep his mind off worries about the future and firmly in the now. That’s all anyone had the ability to control, really.

“You know, I’ve been thinking lately about how you aren’t able to enjoy food.” As he quirked a brow at her inquiringly, she reached into the bedside table for the can she’d stashed there earlier. “And it occurred to me that you definitely can still enjoy it…”

Beth watched Mick's eyes widen as she uncapped the can of whip cream. Giving it a quick shake, she proceeded to draw a heart on the middle of his chest and little peaks on his nipples, pleased as he gasped at the sensations. “I haven’t had any dessert tonight yet, you know.”

“And I’m dessert?” he inquired, but the words cut off abruptly when she bent over, and her tongue snaked out to sample the cream.

Beth was glad he was enjoying the attention. She just wanted to inject a little bit of fun into the mix, to lighten things up for them. With all the heavy issues on their minds, it was good to just enjoy. She continued licking the cream off like a cat, until all the sweet stickiness was gone and he was hard, panting, squirming to stay still.

Beth glanced down at his neglected cock. “Ooh, somebody wants attention,” she commented, and could have sworn it twitched as if hearing her. “Don’t want little Mick feeling left out…” She took him into her mouth, licking and sucking, employing all she’d learned about how he liked it best to drive him out of his mind. At one point she looked up to see a total expression of ecstasy on his face, and his hands clenched in the bed sheets. She loved knowing she could do this to him. It was a rush like no other.

Before she had a chance to finish patting herself on the back, she found herself on the mattress on it, Mick looming over her like a predator. “Now it’s my turn.”

He licked and bit his way over her body, hands everywhere, stroking, teasing. Their foreplay had turned her on just as much, so she was more than ready when he entered her almost immediately. Sighing in complete contentment, she gave herself over to the pleasure of feeling him making love to her. There was nothing like it in the world, indescribable. No man had ever made her feel like this man did. He was the only one she wanted, and she wanted him forever.

The delicious friction continued until she was begging for release. And when she could take no more, he gave it to her.

 

XXX

 

They were lying in each other’s arms, Mick contemplating the future enjoyment of other foodstuffs, when Beth started the conversation.

“Last week I was filling in for one of the other reporters who was out sick. I had to do a story about a young couple who was on their way to their wedding – to their _wedding_ – and they were involved in a traffic accident. They both died at the scene.”

“That’s sad,” Mick said, wondering why she was telling him this, and trying to figure out how he was supposed to respond. It wasn’t exactly afterglow conversation.

“I just thought: every moment we have is a gift. Not a right, or a privilege, but a gift.”

Now Mick knew what she was talking about with her thinly veiled analogy. “And a lot of people aren’t so lucky?” he said with a sardonic twist to his lips.

“In a way, vampires seem to have been blessed with so much more than humans.” If the couple had been vamps, they’d still have made their wedding.

“At what price?” Mick couldn’t help countering, but it was more out of habit than anything else.

“Everything has a price,” Beth returned.

“Even gifts?”

She sighed. “You’re twisting my words.”

Mick kissed her temple. “I’m not arguing with you. I used to be a thrill-seeker,” he began, and laughed self depreciatingly. “Obviously, look who my first wife was. I craved the intensity, the danger. I even thrilled to the hunt, at one time. I guess when I decided to turn my undead life around I maybe went too far in the other direction. Suddenly I want everything to be safe and secure.”

“Maybe we need to work on achieving peace even knowing it isn’t.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, and there’s only one place I can think of to look for it. That’s why I want to start attending Reverend Autun’s Sunday night services. Will you come with me?”

Beth stared at him for a moment before responding. “Yes,” she said simply.

“I’ve been blessed to have lived long enough to know you. I’ve been blessed to have you love me back and accept me for who I am. I’ve been blessed that you love me so much you want to be with me forever. I’ve been blessed with great friends, and a new family, and a comfortable life. And there could even be more blessings in my future,” Mick added with a small secretive smile. “I think I finally got the part about not whining about what-ifs. At least I’m working on it,” he added.

“Do you believe the prophesy is true?” Beth asked, knowing what he was referring to by 'more blessings'.  _Will we really have a family?  Children?_

“You know what? Considering how far in the future it is in any case, I’m not going to worry about it.”

“Well, _our_ part in it wouldn’t be that far in the future,” Beth added meaningfully.

“You know how I feel about that,” he told her. A baby… would be a miracle. Prophesy or not.

“Yeah, I do.” She caressed his face, and kissed him.

Taking whatever blessings God bestowed upon him and accepting the hardships with courage and grace. Maybe a challenging task, but the only one worth pursuing.

 

XXX

 

Sara was awake first that evening. As she tossed on her nightgown, she gazed speculatively at the freezer in the corner of the vamp-equipped suite. That part was still a bit weird to get used to, she had to admit. From what she understood, it wasn’t like vampires _had_ to sleep in freezers – after all, they’d made due for plenty of centuries before the advent of electricity. Rather, it allowed them to rest easier and more comfortably, and also to “sleep” for only a few hours rather than having to hide from the sunlight all day. Kind of like a super-duper vampire sleeping pill. The minute the temp went down to frosty, they were out like a light. When the built in timer raised the temp, they woke energized and ready to face the night.

Weird, but definitely enviable, Sara decided as she yawned and thought longingly of coffee. Shane wouldn’t be awake for a while yet. She decided to go see if Josef was up and around yet, so she could talk to him about the group—uh, freshies. Well, Shane had told her to. If not, she’d head to the kitchen to find something to eat. And coffee. Definitely coffee.

Josef’s study door was open and when Sara passed it on the way to the kitchen, she saw that he was standing inside, engrossed in looking over some papers. She stopped in the doorway, feeling a bit awkward.

“Hi,” she greeted, hovering uncertainly at the threshold.

“Good morning.” More like early evening, but to vamps and rockers it was morning.

“Um… got a minute?”

His face showing his surprise, Josef motioned for her to come inside. He put the papers down and leaned against the desk. “What can I do for you?”

“I have a few questions about freshies, and Shane seemed to have trouble answering them, so he said I should ask you.”

Josef stared a moment, then laughed. “Would’ve loved to have heard that conversation. Sure, I’ll answer your questions.”

“Okay, so some of them get paid, and some of them do it for the thrills. It sounds to me kinda like hookers or groupies, or maybe a harem, but apparently I’m not grasping the differences.”

Josef was silent a moment, pondering. “Maybe you’re right,” he surprised her by saying. “But at least they have a choice. Not like in the old days when a lot of the time we had to pursue _unwilling_ donors. And I don’t lead them on or lie to them. They chose to be here.”

“I’m not judging or anything. And I can definitely see the appeal of the groupie lifestyle.”

“Something else to consider. Those girls are giving their bodies for sex. Freshies give their blood to keep us alive. I think that’s a significant difference, don’t you?”

“I never thought of it like that. That’s a lot bigger than just getting your rocks off,” Sara agreed.

“I can’t speak for every vamp, of course. Not everyone has the same…scruples as our little group does I’m afraid. You know the saying about absolute power corrupting absolutely? Being top of the food chain provides certain temptations that some find hard to resist. Don’t think we’re all cuddly and cute like Shane.”  Josef grinned.

Sara snorted. “That’s not exactly how I’d describe him.”

“Think of wild panthers with a 170 IQ.” As she was absorbing that, Josef spoke again. “So now that I’ve answered your questions, you can answer one of mine.”

“Sure.”

“Are you thinking of joining our little community?” He asked straight out. The vampire version of asking her what her intentions were concerning Shane.

“Is that a rhetorical question? Hell, yeah. For awhile I was thinking it would be cool to be nineteen forever, but I’m not sure yet…”

Josef’s demeanor changed instantly at her words, darkening, and he gave her a piercing gaze. “Let me give you some advice. You _don't_ want to be nineteen forever. Trust me,” he told her, vehemence making his voice shake slightly. “I was twenty-five and that was too young. I’ve had to fight and claw and scrape every day to get where I am and stay there. People have a hard time getting past the boyish face.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the respect I deserve at my age?!  I had to be ruthless and hard and push down my softer emotions until I’m not sure I know how to feel them anymore, much less show them!  Don’t do it so young unless you have to.” He paused to gather his equilibrium after what was, for him, and emotional outburst.

“I see your point,” Sara said quietly, processing his words.

Josef's expression brightened again. “But hey, you know how human women are always joking about being twenty-nine forever? Maybe you could _be_ the joke. Still kinda young, but it’s not quite the same for a woman.”

“I’ll think about what you said.”

“Good.” He seemed pleased. “Anything else you want to know?”

It was Sara’s turn to pause, biting her lip, not sure she should continue. “Well, getting back to the freshie thing. I’m not sure I grasp the difference… I mean, there’s feeding which seems to be erotic, but not necessarily sexual, but sometimes it is because there’s sometimes biting involved during sex…”

“That can be confusing for humans,” Josef acknowledged. “Especially women, who by their very nature have trouble separating sex from other emotions.”

“Seems to me the lines blur between feeding and sex for vampires too,” Sara countered meaningfully. “Feeding, sex, biting, male, female…”

“Touché. Okay. Biting, feeding, sex.” He paused. “Female, male. It’s all enjoyable, right?”

“Ah, hedonism. I can get behind that.”

Josef gave a short, surprised laugh. “Have you ever watched Seinfeld?” he said out of left field.

“Uh, yeah,” she nodded. “Living in boring Alaska, I’ve seen more than my share of repeats on cable.”

“Remember the episode where George discovered that he could combine his three favorite turn-ons into one giant orgasmic rush? Sex, eating, and TV?” He waited for her reaction, slight smirk on his face.

Sara blinked – then started laughing. “I see your point,” she finally said when she could catch her breath again.

Josef’s eyes shifted for a moment, as if he was distracted by something, then he continued his explanation. “Of course we don’t take as much blood when we bite during sex; it’s more of a… reflex or an extra sensitive erogenous zone.” He moved closer, one finger trailing down the side of her neck. “When there’s physical and emotional intimacy between the partners we usually bite the neck. Or other, more private areas.” He winked at her. “There’s usually no sex involved in feeding, even though it’s pleasurable. Did you know I once watched one of my girls almost have an orgasm when eating gumbo in New Orleans?”

Sara would have laughed again at his quirky comment, but Josef’s hand, closing on her arm, cancelled the urge.

“Feeding from a willing donor most often involves the inner wrist,” Josef said softly, pulling her arm closer to demonstrate, pointing out the vein. “Right about here…” he said, caressing the area with his thumb and lifting her arm higher…

At that moment, they were interrupted by a loud throat-clearing. Sara turned around to see Shane standing in the doorway, his expression a combination of amused and annoyed.

Shane came over and put his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t recall telling you to ask him about feeding techniques.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were there, Shane,” Josef said with false surprise, dropping her arm.

Shane rolled his eyes at the other vampire. “Yeah, because I’m always sneaking up on you.” Of course he couldn’t, and they both knew it, and he knew Josef had giving his performance on purpose.

“I gotta tell you, I’m not sure it’s like eating gumbo. Or even chocolate,” Sara opined.

“He’s quite spellbinding, isn’t he?” Shane smirked at Josef.

“You’re obviously confusing me with yourself,” Josef countered.

“So if I was a freshie, would I--” Sara began, still working on the puzzle...

“You’re _not_ a freshie,” Shane cut in firmly.

“Ah, so it _is_ like groupies,” Sara said, picking up on the implications in his tone. “Me being the girlfriend in the scenario.”

Shane threw his hands up. “I give up. Why don’t I take you out to get something to eat?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask the group—uh, freshies any questions. But then again, if you think my presence will be disturbing to them, me being the—not a freshie and all.”

Shane glanced at Josef as if to say ‘ _now you see_?’  “We could hit that Thai place you loved,” he suggested to her.

“Um, actually,” Sara began thoughtfully. “I think I’d like to go to lunch by myself. I need some solitude to think about everything I’ve heard – it’s a lot to process.”

“How does being driven to lunch in a limo sound?” Josef asked her. “I can have my driver take you wherever you want.”

“Even McDonalds?” she teased.

“If that’s your wish.” Josef nodded. “But lunch is on me – so you might wanna go somewhere that doesn’t have a kiddy playland and paper napkins.”

“Just gotta throw some clothes on.”

“Yeah, and about that...” Shane said, pointedly looking at her nightgown.

“He’ll be waiting out front,” Josef told her of her ride.

 

XXX

 

Sara had left to get dressed. Josef made the call to have his driver standing by. All was done and the two of them were left in the room, and still Shane hadn’t spoken again.

“Okay. I’m not gonna freak out,” he finally said.

Josef shook his head, understanding immediately that it was Sara’s request for time alone that had disturbed Shane. “Relax. If all the other shit didn’t scare her off, this won’t.”

“This is a hell of a lot of stuff she’s had thrown at her in just two weeks. “What if… if it’s the final straw,” he said quietly.

“Freshies?! I don’t think so.” Josef stared at him. “You really have it bad for her.”

Shane didn’t answer, he turned away instead, but the glimpse Josef had seen of his face was alarming.

“It’s okay. You’re right. I know her. She’s a lot tougher than that. I’m just being…”

“Uncharacteristic?” Josef was beginning to freak out as well. He’d never seen Shane this way before, ever – and he’d known the man four centuries. He could feel the emotions bouncing off him. Anxiety, pain…love. Their intensity stunned. He was beginning to grasp the reality of the depth of Shane’s feelings for Sara.

_Oh, she’s not going to change her mind_ , Josef thought to himself. _I’ll make sure of it. She **will** be joining our little community… one way or the other._  He wasn’t about to stand by and see Shane get hurt.

“Sara’s… different. Than any other woman I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of ‘em,” Shane laughed. “She had my number almost from the first time we saw each other,” he remembered fondly. “I’ve never… She’s worth waiting a thousand years for.”

There was nothing to say to that. What could Josef say to that? All he could do was stand there in shock. There was one undeniable fact however, and he finally found his voice. “If you love her that much, she must be worth it.” Love made men do foolish things, but Shane Alexander hadn’t survived over one thousand years by being foolish.

“Anyone I love has to be pretty damn special, you know that,” Shane said with a small smile for him. “But yeah, she’s the one for me. I feel like she was made for me.”

_I wonder who was made for me?_ Josef thought, but left it unsaid. And then, in casting about for a way to change the subject, he realized there was one thing he hadn’t mentioned yet since Shane had come to town.

“Oh, by the way… you could have warned me.”

“About what?” Shane asked, mystified.

“A certain special delivery package…"

“Hey, I told you I was gonna kill her. And you're the one told me to mail her head to Mick.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you were gonna actually _do_ it!” Josef sputtered, laughing.

“Which part?” Shane inquired mildly.

“Both!”

Shane shook his head. “No,” he said with finality, in that way of his. “When she showed up in Alaska that was it for her. I was not gonna take any chances, risk Sara ending up some kind of target or something.”

Shane had known Coraline a long time, and was only too aware of the games she liked to play with men. He’d rejected her advances more than once, and a woman like Coraline didn’t let things like that pass. If she was looking him up, it brooked no good. Hearing some of the story about her and Mick—and Beth, just sealed Coraline’s fate as far as Shane was concerned. He wasn’t about to play around with her. If she was a threat she would be eliminated. Period.

And so she was.

 

XXX

 

Josef had decided to ignore Shane’s aimless prowling of the room and pretend to get some work done. He’d just sat down at his desk and begun to push papers around on it, when the door opened and Sara came in. It hadn’t been more than fifteen minutes since she’d left.

“Back already?” Josef quipped with his typical amusement, watching as she went over to Shane and wrapped her arms around his waist. He lifted her off the ground as they kissed.

Shane was momentarily without words. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Did you forget something?”

In truth she hadn’t even gotten out of the driveway. Suddenly it felt wrong, like she shouldn’t go. So she didn’t. Now that she was here she could clearly pick up on his emotions. “Yeah, you. I never doubted or questioned any of the choices I’ve made in the past two weeks and I’m not now,” she told him firmly.

“I’m acting like one of the idiots, huh?”

Sara sighed. “Yeah, well, you’re _my_ idiot so I guess that makes it different. Why don’t I find something in the fridge and you can watch me eat.” She grabbed a hold of his shirt and led him out of the room.

Josef watched them go, flabbergasted as a dozen feelings tumbled around inside him. Shock, anger, distrust, jealousy, fear… Despite that, he was impressed too. He’d never seen anything like that before.

“Who the hell is this girl?!” he asked the empty room.

 

XXX

 

Excerpt from Sara’s vacation journal:

_I’ve been sitting here trying to imagine explaining the current situation to someone else not in the know. Yeah, there’s a lesson in futility. Much less explain myself. But then I’ve never been able to do that, so it’s SOP. I’m used to it. Why should anything be any different now? I know I’m not normal, I’ve never been normal. Normal’s for idiots._

_The school shrink I was forced to see in high school would always start our sessions by asking: How do you feel today? (I mainly just felt glad of the excuse to be skipping a class). I feel powerful, yep, this little nineteen year old human. See, I’ve got this man who’s seen so much, done so much, and he needs me. Wants me. He shares things with me that I know he’s never shared with anyone, and he trusts me with his soul. Overwhelming. Like I’m part of something bigger, destiny or something. So much more than I ever could have dreamed in my dreary existence in Alaska._

_He’s gorgeous and he’s fun and we understand each other in a way I’ve never known before. He treats me right, and relies on me in a way that’s…okay it’s a bit frightening sometimes. I’ve waited over 3 years for him (and it’s even better than I imagined it!). Am I giving him up now, for any reason? Do I look stupid to you?! I’m gonna screw things up with someone who’s perfect for me just because the situation isn’t perfect? Hell, no! I’ll do whatever I have to. Whatever I need to deal with, I will. I don’t care about freshies or prophesies, or even Josef. All that matters is us. There’s nothing else, no one else for me. The only thing that really frightens me is the thought of not having him in my life._

_I fucking love him and I wanna be with him forever. I could die for him. I think I live for him. Do I really have to complicate it more than that?_

 

Josef carefully put the diary back where he’d found it, and left the room. Questions of loyalty satisfied.

 

XXX

 

Shane’s Wisdom:

Death is the ultimate irony of life. And despite living for centuries, vampires are afraid of death too. Truth is, in the end there’s not as much difference between us and humans as common belief holds. Most of us will kick and claw and fight with everything to survive. Do whatever it takes, whether it be resorting to cannibalism when stranded in the mountains after a plane crash, or killing someone by draining their blood.

As time goes on though, and experience etches itself across the wrinkled planes of the elderly human’s face, as he watches his friends and family all die off and his body and mind start failing him, his perspective changes. He gains acceptance, peace. For everything there is a time, and a season.

For the vampire, time is frozen at the point of turning but it marches on anyway. When you get old enough – 500, 600 yrs. and up, it becomes harder to keep living interesting. To find a reason for staying on the planet without turning into something you don’t want to be, letting the darkness take you. Eternity stretches before you, and you start wondering why. Simple boredom eats away like a special type of vampire cancer. That’s the danger in living too long. Josef is too young to understand that yet.

Some secrets we keep for altruistic reasons.

 

XXX

 

Josef had had a very _non_ productive day. Problem was he couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. He spent more time staring into space than anything else. He was vaguely annoyed at himself. The usually enjoyable business dealings left him feeling bored instead of satisfied, which was a rare event in his life. Maybe Shane was right, he did work too much these days. Maybe he did need to find a hobby… He got up and stretched, contemplating the idea of heading out to the Blood and Roses for a drink and possibly some entertainment. His out-of-town guests could fend for themselves for the evening…

His out of town guest was standing in the doorway watching him.

“Everything okay?” Josef asked Shane cautiously.

“Yeah,” he said, coming into the room. “Just looking for something to do, and I figured ‘bugging’ you is always fun.”

“Where’s Sara?” he asked suspiciously.

Shane grinned wryly. “I figured it was only fair to give her that time alone I owe her.”

“I worry about you sometimes,” Josef admitted. Vague disquieting vibes he sometimes had but usually ignored.

“Yeah, well, no need to worry. Not now.”

Something in Shane’s tone alerted to things unsaid. Josef narrowed his eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he challenged.

“It means what it says it means. Why would you worry about me?”

“And by _now_ , you mean…?”

Shane looked at him for a long moment, and then sighed with some exasperation. ”You’re considered an elder in the community.”

Josef showed his teeth. “What does that make _you_ , an old geezer?”

Shane flopped down in a chair and gave him a baleful glance at the dig. “I never imagined I’d be around this long, even with the immortality thing,” he admitted.

“I figured somebody would have taken your head long before this myself – jealous lover or spouse at the least,” Josef agreed, even though the teasing felt hollow and the topic uncomfortable.

“So I keep surprising myself. Now here I am, over one thousand and in love. Life’s weird, you know that, kiddo?”

“Especially with you around,” Josef agreed, but he was still feeling out of sorts and just responding automatically.

“Sometimes the idea of living is just as terrifying as the idea of dying,” Shane said, sharing some more of the wisdom gained from an exceptionally long life. “When you get tired of living. And you wonder what it’s all for. You think about maybe changing your status.”

Josef snapped to attention. “What?!” he said sharply. “What the hell does that mean, changing your status?”

Shane shrugged. “After enough centuries go by, it can get boring.”

Uncomfortable feeling solidified into knowledge. Josef remembered feeling that weird concern before. Not understanding it. Now he wished he still didn’t. “You really are a selfish prick, aren’t you?!” he demanded, fear making him lash out.

Shane actually seemed taken aback by the reaction. “What?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s just great, you’re so self centered you don’t even know what I’m talking about. Never think about others, just what Shane wants. Not how it might affect them. That someone else might have an opinion about that and might actually give a damn whether or not you’re on the planet!”

He could see the dawning realization on Shane’s face, when he “got” how his words had sounded. “Look, I uh… I’m sorry, okay? Forget I said anything.”

“If you ever feel like that again, just call me dammit. We’ll figure something out. Don’t be talking about shit like that. Christ…” Josef turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose to stem the emotion threatening.

When he opened his eyes again, Shane was standing in front of him, touching his shoulder, a conciliatory gesture.

“Hey – there’s nothing to worry about, okay? I’m gonna be around for a long time yet. I have my girl, you, rock and roll. What more could I want? Like the song says, these are the times I live for.”

If Shane expected a patented Josef-snarky comeback, he didn’t get it. “I know a once a decade visit is more than enough for me, but I can’t… you know…how can there be a world without a Shane Alexander in it?” Josef asked plaintively.

“Ah, Jay-Jay,” Shane murmured, pulling him in for a hug. He gave him a little shake before releasing him. “You’ve done a hell of a job; did I ever tell you that? All of this,” he gestured around him. “The infamous Josef Kostan.”

Josef shook his head, the unfamiliar urge to honesty not quite releasing its hold on him yet. “That’s just a fake. You’re the real thing.”

“Hey – I’ll have you know some people actually dislike me.”

Despite everything, Josef couldn’t help not responding to the familiar banter. “I know, I’m one of ‘em. But that’s beside the point.”

“You sure your head doesn’t have a point?!” Shane kidded, and made a grab for him to try and give him a noogie.

Josef disgustedly fended him off, relief restoring his usual sarcasm. “What are we, teenagers? No, don’t bother answering. I know one of us is having his second childhood, but it isn’t me.”

“It’s fun – you should try it.”

“Once was enough for me, thanks.”

Shane put his arms around Josef’s shoulder from behind, bouncing a little in place playfully. “C’mon Jay-Jay, loosen up, enjoy life,” he said into his ear.

“I’m loose. I think you’re insane.”

“Let go skateboarding. Or maybe roller skating…”

“What?!”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun. It’s not like we have to worry about breaking anything. Get out of that boring business suit and come play with me. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

“If we do we’ll have to kill each other.”

“Deal.” Shane held out his hand to shake on it – but when Josef held his out, Shane hugged him again instead.

“Remind me again who the big brother is supposed to be?” Josef heaved a put upon sigh. “Okay,” he capitulated, “but we have to be home in time for ‘dinner’.”

“Or, we could grab a _bite_ out…”

“I do like the way you think,” Josef admitted, following him out the door.

 

XXX

 

Twilight was descending as the St. John’s drove along the Pacific Coast Highway in Mick’s Benz. It was a nice night and they’d decided to take a drive up the coast, maybe find a nice, quaint B&B to spend the night in. A spur of the moment, romantic gesture he’d surprised Beth with.

Mick was thinking about finding a place to pull over and watch the sunset (the sun wasn’t his enemy when it wasn’t overhead burning down on him, so he could appreciate the beauty of it with her), when he saw something off to the side of the road that had him doing a violent double-take.

“Beth… I think I’m hallucinating.”

“What??” she asked.

“Take a look over there and tell me that’s not Shane and _Josef_ , in helmets and knee pads, _rollerblading_ down the sidewalk.”

Beth shook her head in disbelief as she complied. “I’ve seen pigs fly, but that's—“she abruptly cut off. “I think I’m hallucinating.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

 

_Hey, babe I live for times like these_  
 _Give me a reason to believe_  
 _For a moment time stands still_  
 _That’s all I need…_  
\--Bret Michaels, Times Like These

 

THE END!

epilogue to follow...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Still lots of twists, and developments, and god knows what ahead in the HB universe! What will happen with Sarah Whitley? Are Mick and Beth destined to have a child? Will the prophesy come true? Will Shane and Josef ever stop fighting?! 
> 
> 2\. I didn't necessarily want Shane (and Josef, sort of) to be the one to have the pleasure of eliminating Coraline. But you know, it was really a process of elimination. I asked myself who would be dangerous, sick, scary enough to mail her head to Mick. ? Any of the others could have killed her, but I just don't see any of them doing something that...extreme. Shane has experience with killing sires, and the understanding about how sometimes that's the only way to break the bonds of the sicker ones. Like his own...but that's a story for another time.
> 
> 3\. I hope that with the additional revelations about Sara's thoughts and decision in this chapter, her easy acceptance of everything she's discovered in the past two weeks is better understandable. For her to pitch a fit about anything would have been out of character, and she was having none of it.


	16. Last Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vampires don't dream, so is Josef's vision a true premonition or just a bad trip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter may be disturbing to some readers. Consider it a possible peek into a possible future. A teaser. It’s not the end of the series; we’ve still got lots of more adventures upcoming. But this was something my Josef muse wanted to write. Yeah, he has his ulterior motives… but the simple reason is that he wanted his truth told.

 

  
**EPILOGUE** :

 

The man who discovered the DNA molecule was said to have been high on LSD at the time.  Native American Shamen used hallucinogenic plants to gain the secret knowledge from the Spirits.  Archeologists suspect that the Oracles of Delphi were getting high off the ethylene gas from the ground when they got their visions of the future.  Shane had used these things in his duties as Voodoo Priest in New Orleans.  Vampires though, can't get high from drugs like humans do.  Except for rare exceptions, they do it by drinking of blood of humans who are under the influence.  Josef didn't allow any Freshies in his house who did drugs, but they were easy enough to find, if you wanted that. 

Thoughts, nagging, going round and round.  Is it right that time measured in centuries should not be enough?  Or was it the quality that mattered?  The future was something vampires normally didn't think much about: there was so much of it.  It was the humans who were always desperate to know what their short lives would hold.  Did curiosity really kill the cat?  Or did it set him free?

  
_I know, you know, our souls will be together till the end of time_  
 _You know, I know, your love is gonna meet me on the other side…_  
\--The Last Breath, Bret Michaels

 

 

Future:

 

“God, no.”

The minute Josef saw her standing on his doorstep of course, he’d _known_. One look to shatter his life into a million pieces.

The pounding on the door had been insistent, demanding, desperate. He’d been grumbling about being woken at the horrendous hour of 3:pm. Now he was wishing he was still asleep, dreaming some bizarre vamp-dream.

“ _No_.” As if one word could turn back time. _Not him._   It couldn’t be true. It was unthinkable. The world had changed so much over the centuries. The constant was always there. A thousand images flickered across the movie screen in his brain, as if his own life was passing before his eyes, only it was all Shane: Shane, barging into his office with a rock and roll record clutched to his chest and his soul shining out from the fire in his eyes; mercifully praying with a man before killing him; holding his daughter in his arms for the first time; sitting up with Josef all night in that first, agonizing twenty four hours of his vampire life, telling his secrets just to put Josef at ease…

Tears were dried with dirt on Sara’s face, her expression was broken, her soul in pieces bleeding all over his Italian marble foyer.

“He went along on the attack on NBL headquarters. They….”

Josef saw it all in her eyes. He did the only thing he could do, drew her into his arms and held on tight enough to break ribs, if she’d been human. Not that his pathetic gesture was the least bit helpful. “They’re dead,” he said baring fangs. “I swear, every one of them involved is going to die a horrible, agonizing death.”

“Yes,” Sara agreed, as they clung to each other.

 

_Call the sun in the dead of night and the sun gonna rise in the sky_  
 _Touch a man who can’t walk upright and a lame man he gonna fly_  
 _And I fly…_  
\--Holly holy, Neil Diamond

 

“Do you think there’s a heaven?”

“How the hell should I know?!” Josef returned.

They were sitting on the floor in his industrial kitchen, jug of moonshine almost empty sitting in front of them.  Shane had finally gotten the secret recipe out of Randy, a few centuries ago. So they made up some homemade brew from time to time, just for special occasions.

This one was about as special as they come.

“I don’t think I can continue,” Sara admitted.

“Don’t!” Josef stopped her. “He wouldn’t want that.”

“How am I supposed to?!” she demanded.

Josef upended the jug and guzzled the last of the shine, then threw it to smash into the far wall in a shower of glass that almost looked like an explosion. “I don’t know.” Truth be known, he wasn’t so inclined to wake up tomorrow still undead himself.

He could almost imagine Shane walking through the door any second now, telling them it was all a big mistake. It wasn’t true. He wasn’t…gone.

_God, it can’t be true…_

Josef felt the tears prickle behind his lids. Shane. Beautiful, crazy, amazing, Shane Alexander. No, he hadn’t been known by that name in a long time, but it was always his favorite. Representing the happiest part of his endless lifetime. But it does end, because nothing lasts forever, not even for vampires.

_Not Shane._

If anybody could have lived forever, Josef would have given odds on it being Shane. He had a way of making you believe in anything. Josef would have believed the man could make the sun rise in the dead of night, if he said he could.

“I loved him.”

Sara looked at Josef. “I know you did.”

Clarification. Truth. “I was _in_ love with him. I was always in love with him,” Josef told the one secret he’d kept to himself for almost a millennia. But of course Shane had known that, too, despite so much unspoken between them. Bitter, broken tears fell unheeded down his cheeks.

“I know.” Sara repeated softly, giving the knowledge the reverence it deserved.

“I think Shane was God.”

That earned him a bark of startled laughter from Sara; it would have been a delightful sound if not for the emptiness of the soul it had come from. “He’d hate this.”

“Fuck him!”

Another laugh. “What do we do now?”

And then the devastation was in her face again, and he couldn’t bear that so he drew her to him, and he was kissing her, and she was kissing back and they were tearing each other’s clothes and bodies and there was nothing left in the world…

What now? They would take their revenge, and it would be good. Then, maybe they would survive. Because they were the only two people in the universe who had loved Shane Alexander more than life. They were the testament to his existence, to his memory.

Or maybe, they would go gently into that good night, after all.

 

**Shane Alexander. 976-2299**

 

_I don’t know how to tell you that I miss you baby_   
_I struggle with the words sometimes_   
_But I know in my heart you’ll find…_

 

Present:

 

Josef opened his eyes, staring at the lid of his freezer for a long time as if it held the secrets of the universe. He thought about the future, and prophesies, and premonitions.

And he thought about the fact that vampire’s don’t dream.  What is a dream that isn't a dream?

Mostly though, he thought about changing the future.

Then he got up and went into his study to place a call to Alaska, just feeling, suddenly, like saying hello.

Collect, of course.

 

_What if fate took you from me before I got to let you know?_  
 _You’re the one thing in my life worth dying for_  
 _If the world fell apart, I know in my heart our love would never change_  
 _If devil himself tried to raise hells bells, I know it would be in vain_  
 _Let the heavens come down let ‘em fall to the ground_  
 _Let ‘em take my breath away_  
 _I love you’d be the last thing I’d ever say…_  
\--The Last Breath, Bret Michaels

 

**The end**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how HB will eventually end at this point. This chapter gives a peek at my original plans, but my Muses have changed a lot of that. A lot of readers who are Shane fans protested his demise, even taking place this far in the future. How can I break Josef and Sara's hearts? So never fear, Josef will indeed change this outcome.
> 
> “Mostly though, he thought about changing the future.”


End file.
